MBTI Misadventures

In honour of Lunar New Year, here are the 16 types I think each animal of the Chinese zodiac would be! 新年快乐, 牛年大吉 to my fellow Chinese friends, and happy Lunar New Year to everyone else who celebrates. I know this has been a particularly difficult year and I wish you a prosperous year of the Ox.  

Rat, 鼠, (flexible, quick-witted, kind): ISTP

Ox, 牛, (resilient, strong, warm-hearted): ISFJ

Tiger, 虎, (magnetic, passionate, idealistic): ENFJ

Rabbit, 兔, (graceful, soft-hearted, diligent): ISFP

Dragon, 龙, (confident, fiery, intelligent): ENTJ, ESTP

Snake, 蛇, (mystical, wise, calm): INFJ, INTJ

Horse, 马, (energetic, giving, lively): ESFP

Sheep/Goat, 羊, (stoic, gentle, quiet): INFP 

Monkey, 猴, (curious, intelligent, active): ENTP, INTP

Rooster, 鸡, (brave, sensible, assiduous): ESTJ

Dog, 狗, (loyal, hard-working, cheerful): ISTJ

Recently, I read that the K-12 school system is run mostly by xSxJs (or Guardians). So, there’s a strong bias towards people with the J preference and Judging behaviours, such as planning far ahead, being very well-organised, and setting detailed goals. In college, most professors have the N preference (iNtuition), but the ratio of Judgers to Perceivers is still about 2:1. Basically, the whole education system is oriented towards people with the J preference. 

I’ve only recently realised how much this has affected my own education. Like most INFPs, I’ve always been a pretty strong writer, but when it came to essay planning, I’d find myself completely stuck. If a teacher asked me to plan out a whole essay and submit the essay plan before actually writing the first draft, I would find that my creativity and motivation decreased substantially. I always hated the 5-paragraph structure that was peddled to us in high school, as well as ‘note-taking methods’. 

For years I thought that there was something wrong with me and the way I worked. I’d try to plan essays in detail, down to the word count (this argument would take 200 words, the next paragraph 600, etc.) I’d try to organise my notes into colour-coded, bullet-pointed systems. I’d try to give myself three hours to only work on one thing, and tell myself that by the end of the three hours I’d have that one thing done. 

Now that I have slightly more autonomy in my education, I realise that, because. I’m not an xxxJ, those behaviours are not natural to me and they’re not the way I learn. In fact, they are distinctly harmful to the way I organise my thoughts and actually get my ideas onto paper. The best things I’ve written have been because I’ve started writing and gotten all my ideas down on paper, and only then looked at the structure and plan of my writing. Or because I’ve given myself enough time to work on several projects at once. Maybe I spend 15 minutes on one thing, an hour on another, and then go back to the first thing. That’s the way I work, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as I give myself enough time to meet all my deadlines.

I hope if you’re a fellow perceiver, especially a fellow xNxP, you’ll find this useful. Maybe you’re still stuck in school being taught the five-paragraph essay or ‘ways to structure your arguments’. Maybe you’re having trouble submitting a project plan because you’re not a detail person. But that’s not because you’re not disciplined, or not motivated, or not talented. It’s because you’re you and you need to find something that works for you.

if this has been done before, I apologise. as it will soon become clear, this is a shitpost and not to be taken seriously.

ENTJ: mad woman. the #1 boss bitch track just has to go to ENTJ.

INTJ: exile (ft. Bon Iver). INTJ, like Bon Iver in this track, walks alone.

ENTP: the 1. the most commitment-phobic track on folklore. and ‘never leaving well enough alone’? ENTP we know it’s you.

INTP: august. INTP would totally cancel their plans just in case you called. because they had no plans in the first place.

ESTP: cowboy like me. the bonnie and clyde vibes here are too strong. it just MUST be ESTP.

ISTP: no body, no crime (ft. HAIM). we know ISTP did it but we just can’t prove it. 

ESFP: gold rush. everybody wants you. everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.

ISFP: willow. more for the vibe of it than anything else. ISFP is a witch dancing at the willow fire.

ESTJ: this is me trying. ‘all i do is try, try, try’. does ESTJ ever rest?

ISTJ: marjorie. ISTJ is just over here reminiscing over the past and wishing they had kept every grocery store receipt.

ESFJ: seven. for the warm, nostalgic, caring, cinnamony vibes.

ISFJ: tolerate it. because only ISFJ is patient, loyal, and self-sacrificing enough to withstand the situation this song describes.

ENFJ: invisible string. goal-oriented and ooey-gooey? that’s ENFJ to a T!

INFJ: ’tis the damn season. infj is a put-together bitch who just wants someone she can relax & be herself with. (but would totally judge them for the messy mud on their truck tires). 

ENFP: the last great american dynasty. flies in all their bitch pack friends from the city. loses on card game bets with dali. which of these isn’t something ENFP would do?

Disclaimer: Stereotypes

ISFJ

ESFJ

ISTJ

ESTJ

ISFP

ESFP

ISTP

ESTP

INFJ

ENFJ

INFP

ENFP

INTJ

ENTJ

INTP

ENTP

After a long hiatus, I am (a) back and (b) neither sorry nor responsible for the shitposts & stereotypes this blog (lightheartedly) propagates.

ENFP: Which BuzzFeed Quiz Are You?

INFP: Who Hurt You?

ENFJ: What Kind of Cookie Are You?

INFJ: Which Melancholy Vegetable Matches Your Personality?

ENTP: What Kind of Garbage Are You?

INTP: Which Primitive SpongeBob Meme Are You?

ENTJ: Which Possible Illuminati Member Are You?

INTJ: How Likely Is It You’re Going to Hell?

ESFP: How Funny Are You Actually?

ISFP: Is This a Guy From the Distant Past, or Just a Hipster?

ESTP: How Bro Are You?

ISTP: How Brave Are You Actually?

ESTJ: What Grade Are You Getting in Life?

ISTJ: What British Swear Word Should You Use Today?

ESFJ: Are You Good Enough for My Son?

at this point i feel no need to explain or apologise for my shit posts. None of these pictures are mine i do not take pictures of whale sharks

ENTJ:

INTJ:

ENTP:

INTP:

ENFJ:

INFJ:

ENFP:

INFP:

ESTJ:

ISTJ:

ESFJ:

ISFJ:

ESFP:

ISFP:

ISTP:

ESTP: