Reb

Luke 2:52

children pointing at me and laughing loudly: bread crumbs bread crumbs bread crumbs bread crumbs bread crumbs

me crying emptying my backpack of bread crumbs: no please stop it

And the update

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

Link to the lovely video

There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

Fire Signs: When you touch fire or something hot you burn, but an exhilaration occurs afterward. Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius deal with love and emotion by: taking risks, experiencing the pain, then riding on the high of rebelling

Earth Signs: When you try to dig a hole for the right plant and finally find the right plant that fits; it grows into something beautiful. Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn deal with love and emotion by:searching for the perfect piece, continuously struggling, then finding something beautiful that grows with you

My psychologist: You have to, do things

me: 

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

Aries: You’ve got a hearty breakfast, a slingshot, a bag of cherries, and a bong shop in need of “improvement.“ Godspeed Aries.

Taurus: You can only drink so much coffee until you reach your resonant frequency and explode.

Gemini: Every child is a potential future enemy. Zero tolerance policy.

Cancer: Your mud smuggling operation has been discovered by the authorities. Flee the country with your ill-gotten gains.

Leo: Scientists and evil wizards have put aside their differences to present you with the sequel to tea.

Virgo: Things may get better eventually, but that doesn’t make today any less rough. We all make mistakes, we all get infected with parasites.

Libra: The future may be scary, but it can only hit you a day at a time. You have the home field advantage.

Scorpio: There are many problems that cannot be solved by longboarding but have you tried them all?

Ophiuchus: Need breeds creativity, creativity like trying to drink hot sauce like a smoothie.

Sagittarius: Certification is a thing of the past. What you need is spiritual harmony with the forklift.

Capricorn: It is quite the gift to be entertained just by watching a bug wander around. Some people need to consume media, all you need is a bug.

Aquarius: The key to any successful relationship is equally matched combat skill and constant dueling where neither one of you manages to win.

“She took the bag that contains the loot” means that she took one of several bags, in particular, the one that happens to contain the loot.

“She took the bag, which contains the loot” means that there’s only one bag you might be referring to, and that the fact that she took it is important because it contains the loot.