Ferda

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

Please, I just want to know what your migratory flight path is, I promise I’ll release you after I give you this bracelet that will insanely up your game with the ladies

bitches love me for my bright and colourful leg band

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright

Just drank a hot cup of Hava 🍵

What is hava

Hava niceday

you could follow the genuinely funny poster who is going to be gone in 6 months, or you could follow me, the mediocre-to-okayish poster who's been on tumblr for 11.5 years and will be here until the flames finally reach and destroy the data center with our precious memories

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

we are the daughters of women who didn't know they didn't have to have kids to have a fulfilling life and probably shouldn't have had children in the first place and are now suffering the consequences

"I asked chatgpt-" well I asked my 15th century knight and he's got a big fucking lance and he's charging at full speed in your direction fuck you

if you haven’t, i hope you fall in love with life again. i hope you wake up with a happy sigh, hope you feel like doing things you enjoy, hope you are surrounded by people who make you feel safe, hope you smile at yourself in the mirror.