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@indierats
rappers and their thingâ˘ď¸

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this was the first 280 character tweet I saw and now I never want to see another one because nothing is ever going to fucking top it
i love this video
âSo this is Jack and he has some sort of type of laryngeal paralysis? At least thats what the vet told me.â
Jack: [in the voice of a disillusioned 60-year old man] âMow. Maow.â
Human holding camera: âThis is Jack.â
Jack: âWhoa. Maow.â
Human: âHis voice is a little deeper than most cats.â
Jack: âEugh.â
Human: âHey buddy.â
Human: [whistles and tuts] âSay hi? Say hi?â
Jack: âMeow.â
Human: âGood boy!â
@captioned-miscellaneous-videos

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I like how she didnât even directly mention men and he still said that
IM HOLLERING RIGHT NOW
this is so wild, this guy thought his landlord was going into his house and leaving him post-it notes but he just had an extreme case of carbon monoxide poisoningÂ
Modern ghost story
Did reddit save this dudes life
What the fuck
NO BUT I READ THIS WHOLE THING ONCE.
he got the CO detector out, saw that it was in dangerous levels (there was a problem with an underground parkade in his building, iirc), calmly went âshitâ, and went to the hospital. If he didnât get that advice, he would most likely be dead now.
The best part? He didnât get a webcam app or anything. He just made a folder, called it Webcam, and called it a night in his carbon monoxide induced delirium.
This is honestly one of my favorite Reddit stories.
đ SEHUN Simple đ
âthe boy cries you a sweater of tears and you kill himâ sounds like a richard siken poem but so does squidwardâs subsequent line âthis time thereâs gonna be love. so much that heâs going to drown in itâ
#just the three of us- you; me; and this brick wall you built between us#the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma#if i cant have you as a friend im going to make you a trophy#i defy you heart man#this city needs to be destroyed or at least painted a different color (x)
*acts innocent but thinks about riding the fuck out of you*

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ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the âin case a nuclear attack happensâ phaseâŚâŚ. [x]
This shit is wild.
There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if youâre so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.
After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.
Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if youâre stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, youâre dead. Radiation poisoning.
Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever youâre going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.
How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as thereâs enough inches vertically youâll be good so long as you stay under it.
You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.
Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.
I cannot believe I actually have to freaking reblog this but here y'all go just in case
Take a break from the humor for just a second and read this.
What is life
and after youâre exposed to radiation you need to take off your outer layers and take a decontamination shower, aka wash your body with bar soap or any type of regular soap. no conditioner, no fancy protein soaps. that removes 85%-95% of radiation
Submission: Tumble mobile glitched icons and for a moment I thought this was you.
what if tom accidentally⌠swallows the frog
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and theyâre like âyou wonât do it. youâre too goodâ and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me âyou wonât do itâ i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
a list of things that are OK and NOT ok (dedicated to those rude ass kpop stans out there)

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I need to get laid but my heart also needs to get laid ya know
CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK DANNY PHANTOMâS SKIN GETSÂ MOREÂ TANÂ WHEN HE TURNS INTO AÂ MOTHERFUCKIN GHOSTÂ
Electricity. He burn.
him toasty
extra crispy
aesthetics
I hope this clears things up
#going toast