this is almost certainly not a novel take but
i do wonder how much of the derisive language you hear toward "resistlib winemoms" or whatever is just "people who grew up in Safely Blue Coastal Enclaves rebelling against ppl who remind them of their mom b/c they are emotionally stunted adults"
like, as A Child Of A Very Conservative Area, i have a very vivid recollection of the first time i encountered this type of person, and my reaction was mostly baffled delight. wait you're telling me this PTA mom with unassailable Wholesome Americana credentials is gassing up the cause of trans rights at her book club. you're telling me she's batting her eyelashes and "think of the children"-ing, except instead of doing that to promote some obnoxious "ban this book from the school curriculum" agenda, she's shaming her state representative into actually funding the damn schools? i do not care how cringe her UV-bleached "i'm with her" bumper sticker is or whatever, she is working extremely hard & successfully on shit i care about and i will brook no slander against her
As one such mom, you kids don't even know the benefits of being successfully camouflaged and speaking people's language.
Not possible for everyone, of course. Not desirable for everyone, of course.
However. Sometimes you will be talking to a conservative person, someone you just know voted for the menace, and you can say something like, "Well, the way I see it, we have freedom here in America, and part of the whole thing about freedom is that nobody has to run their choices past me. Or past anyone else. Does the whole trans thing make perfect sense to me, well, no—but those people get their freedoms too, even if you or I might think that what they do with 'em is a leeeettle bit weird." And the person will nod thoughtfully, and we'll move on to another subject.
(Does being trans make sense to me, actually, yes—not on an emotional level because I don't happen to experience that, but I think intellectually I have a decent layperson's grasp. Trans people are not that much weirder than your insistence on never even letting God see your natural hair color, Jennifer, however the goal of this interaction is not to start a fight. Fights stop ideas from taking root, we're planting seeds.)
Sometimes privilege is very subtle. Sometimes privilege is found in looking like someone "respectable" whom your next door neighbor will listen to. And the thing about privilege is that it can be used.
