Incubus For Hire @incubus4hire - Tumblr Blog

someday I'll have the balls tondo what I should've done a long time ago.

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one-time-i-dreamt

I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.

I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.

one-time-i-dreamt

Everyone was commenting on this post, saying that pineapples ARE berries, and even I was like, huh, that’s not right, so I looked it up, and

jollygreengiantdick

luischocolatier

Bananas, tomatoes, watermelons, coffee, cocoa, pomegranates and pumpkins are also berries.

one-time-i-dreamt

W-what????????’

captainlordauditor

WHAT DO YOU MEAN POMEGRANATES ARE BERRIES????

anotherhawk

You know what isn’t a berry? Strawberries. Fuck fruit scientists.

jame7t

hey is everyone ignoring the part of the dream where bees and beekeepers fucked

time-lady13

owlinadayswork

On another note, if anyone was wondering what strawberries actually are

one-time-i-dreamt

Reblog if you too are an aggregate accessory fruit

one-time-i-dreamt

WHY DO ALL OF THEM HAVE BERRIES IN THEIR NAMES IF THEY ARE NOT BERRIES

ARE BLUEBERRIES EVEN BERRIES

IS ANYTHING A BERRY

crunchy--milk

yes blueberries are berries! and so are tomatoes!

one-time-i-dreamt

ratbastard42

The beekeepers were fucking the bees why are y’all still talking about berries

shrinkthisviolet

ARE WE ACTUALLY BERRIES

WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THE BEES

one-time-i-dreamt

Are we human

OR

Are we berries

cyar-ikas

our parents birthed us, so we’re the *fruit* of their labor

one-time-i-dreamt

ghostclvb

watching spy kids: island of lost dreams aka the single most ambitious and masterful piece of modern american cinema ever created

ghostclvb

holy shit the creature designs in this movie were NEXT FUCKING LEVEL

ghostclvb

spy kids 2:

me, approximately age 9:

ghostclvb

“do you think god stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?” is probably THE hardest line of dialogue ever spoken in the history of modern film and people regularly search google for its origin just to find out steve buscemi said it in a movie about adolescent spies from 2002

blueskittlesart

“i’m a serious artist” i say, making another shitty meme comic

lizzart-zardonicz

“The devil may cry Turn down a serpent Worship no mortal life Pull back the curtain” [King of the Damned - Barren Gates, Alter.] Maybe 2020 will be the year we get Vergil’s DLC, let’s not lose hope. 🙃

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mijifuuu

i hate that giorno’s overly polite speech gets lost in subs/dub :(

insomniac-arrest

Atlantis is like if they took a cast from a work place related comedy (think Parks and Rec, Brooklyn 99, The Office) and instead of low-stakes hijinks sent them on an Epic Quest

and it’s great

iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat

with the new round of JK rowling being a transphobic prick rolling out, I think it’s important to reference what I call the H.P. Lovecraft rule. Fans of Lovecraft’s stuff openly acknowledge that he was remarkably racist and that his shitty beliefs bled into his work, whether through metaphors or more blatant pieces of the text, while also enjoying the monster concepts and such that he created. They use critical thinking when approaching his work and acknowledge . In my opinion, it’s fine for people to still like Harry Potter, it’s just important to acknowledge that the Rowling’s own shitty beliefs also bled into her work (the house elves ‘enjoying’ slavery, the sexism, the antisemitism with the goblins, laughable attempt at gay inclusion, lycanthropy being compared to AIDS, etc.). I really don’t think it’s bad for anyone to still enjoy the franchise, it’s just really important to use critical thinking when consuming it, which is true of any media really.

Also I know there are people who are going to drop it all together, and honestly valid, can’t blame ya, it’s just that I saw a post saying ‘you can’t separate it from her beliefs!’ and I just wanted to point out the truth in that while ALSO pointing out that it doesn’t mean people have to quit it altogether - they just need to be smart in their consumption. If someone says something along the lines of, “JK Rowling sucks but the series is still perfect, I’ll just pretend she didn’t write it,” then that’s not critical thinking. That’s just trying to make yourself feel better and pretend there’s nothing wrong with it instead of admitting there are things absolutely wrong with it and that the thing you like is flawed.

queersona

"i was a transtrender" no you werent. you were just questioning your identity and then you decided that wasn't for you. that's a fucking healthy thing to do. fuck off lmao

queersona

Questioning is:

-healthy

-common

-normal

Questioning isn't:

-an excuse to be transphobic towards often young individuals

willow-s-linda

She’s no man D:

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seaalgae

normal brain: playing pokemon B/W as a nuzlocke or efficient playthrough proves N right because you turned your pokemon into tools for your own personal gain

galaxy brain: playing pokemon X/Y without using mega evolution proves Lysandre right, because you are presented with a scarcity scenario with the mega ring and you use your strength to selfishly decide that nobody should have or use one

universe brain: Resetting pokemon D/P/Pt proves Cyrus right because you have full control over the game’s universe and can freely remake it in your image on a whim.

rivalseren

chongoblog

Not having a Pokemon with Surf on your team in R/S/E proves Team Magma right because water sucks

hawkofkrypton

Just when you thought Snyder haters couldn’t get any more toxic, or stupid, or both, prepare for a surprise

leighbirdart

Part 2/2 goth raven punk robin doodles part 1

don’t repost/remove caption!

akira-kurusu

akira’s new outfit makes me so happy!

errorfunction

time skip version of the fe16 lords for the june timelapse, video in next post

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it

Staff: *bans female presenting nipples*

Me: goddamnit this is exactly how Japanese tentacle porn was created

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it

Japanese. Tentacle. Porn.

Alright everyone sit your asses down and shut up I’m finna learn y’all a thing

Ok so in the early 1900s there’s this dude named Franz Ferdinand and then there’s some peeps that wanna kill him. They all get together one day to kill him while he’s in his car. The first one was a pussy and chickened out and the second one threw a grenade but forgot to factor in the delay so it blew up way passed his car so he took cyanide and jumped into a river but the cyanide was expired and therefore useless and the river was like six inches deep. The rest of them were like “fuck this” and went to get a sandwich. However, Ferdinand’s driver took a wrong turn and was like “oh well I’ll just turn around at this sandwich shop” and the guys were like “oh shit isn’t that the guy we’re trying to kill” and they shot him starting WW1.

The Germans got their asses handed to them in WW1 causing them to get all butthurt and put hitler into power. Around this time Japan was trying to take over eastern Asia (basically just a small portion of China but its the thought that counts) and Germany was like “hey do you guys wanna be friends and take over the world together?” And Japan was like “hell ya my dude” and WW2 started. Also Italy was there. Anyway Germany/Japan/Italy all got their asses kicked and much like post WW1 Germany, Japan got a much stricter government. Their new strict government outlawed porn but the people of Japan were horny and one guy was like “hey guys do you remember those American soldiers that were just here kicking our asses? Well they brought these things called comic books so maybe we could make porn in comic book style” thus the birth of hentai. But then the government tried to ban that because it still showed dicks and dicks weren’t allowed so they started drawing porn with any relitively dick shaped object, the most popular being tentacles. It became so popular that even after the porn ban was lifted people continued making tentacle porn because it was such a widespread fetish.

So there you have it:

The assassination of Franz Ferdinand lead to the creation of Japanese tentacle porn

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it

so for some reason this post has disappeared off my dash so i spent forever searching to bring it back again you’re welcome