Incorrect SWNT Quotes

Fiona: Let the karaoke begin!

Davie: ooooo, I am first on the list! *stands up* And who is ready for some Michael Boltooooooon!

Caroline: Uh, hold on a minute Davie. Somebody crossed out your name and wrote in ...Fiona. *turns to look at Fiona, arms crossed*

Davie: Fi, you cant do that! That’s not fair!

Fiona: Life is not fair....take a seat, pretty boy!

Fiona: COME ON BROONETTES!

Jo Love, Lauren McMurchie, Emily Thomson, Nicola Docherty & Frankie Brown get up from their seats as Livin’ La Vida Loca starts playing;

Fiona: SHE’S IN TO SUPER STITIONS, BLACK CATS AND VODOO DOLLLSSS

Frankie: I FEEL A PREMINITION, THAT GIRLS GONNA MAKE ME FALLLL

Lauren: SHE’LL MAKE YOU TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFFF AND GO DANCING IN THE RAAAAAIN

Jo: SHE’LL MAKE YOU LIVE HER CRAZY LIFE BUT SHE’LL TAKE AWAY YOUR PAIN LIKE A BULLET TO YOUR BRAIN

Nic & Emily: COME ON!!

Everyone: UPSIDE INSIDE OUT SHE’S LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA, SHE’LL PUSH AND PULL YOU DOWN LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA

Fiona: HER LIPS ARE DEVIL RED AND HER SKINS THE COLOUR MOCHA

Nic: SHE WILL WEARR YOU OUT LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA

Emily: COME ON!

Jo: LIVIN’ LA VIDA LOCAAAA!

Everyone: COME ON!!!

Shelley & Christie Kerr (her daughter) walk into the room as the music stops.

Lee: Shelley...Christie...how long have you two been standing there?

Christie: Way too long....

-

Rachel: Okay I’m next!

Kim: Oh god....

Summer Nights from Grease starts playing

Everyone: Uh oh...

Lee: Is this—

Rachel: Yes it is —

Lee: I’m not sure I remember—

Lee: SUMMER LOVIN’ HAD ME A BLAST

Rachel: SUMMER LOVIN’ HAPPENED SO FAST

Lee: I MET A GIRL CRAZY FOR ME

Rachel: MET A *GIRL* CUTE AS CAN BEEE

Both: SUMMER DAYS DRIFTIN’ AWAY TO OH OH THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS

Scott Booth: TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE DID YOU GET VERY FAR

The Girls: TELL ME MORE TELL ME MORE DOES LIKE SHE HAVE A CAR

All: UH HU UH HU UH HU

Music slows down, Rachel and Lee look at each other longingly;

Rachel: It turned colder...that’s where it ends....

Lee: so I told her...we’d still be friends....

Rachel: then we made...our true love vowwww...

Lee: wonder what....she’s doing nowwwww....

Both: Summer dreaaams...ripped at the seams...

Both: and...oh— *both laugh*

Both: those summer NIGHHHHTTTTTTSSSS....

Kim: what’re you three doing?

Claire: nothing!

Erin: nothing!

Lisa: we’re going a walk down the river!

Kim: I see.

Claire: would you like to come with?

Kim: not particularly.

Erin: we could fall in the river and drown!

Ruesha: Top of the morning and the luck of the Irish.

Rachel: That’s smashing, which part of Ireland are ye fae?

Rachel: To Julie’s house.

Leanne: And why are you and Leanne here?

Leanne Crichton: We’re gonna talk Julie Fleeting into rejoining the team.

Leanne R: And why is Lee here?

Lee: I came up with the idea.

Leanne R: And why am I here?

Leanne Crichton: Because the streets of Glasgow are no place for three unescorted ladies.

Leanne R: ...Why are Sam & Jamie-Lee here?

Leanne Crichton: Because we couldn’t get Jo to sit for them.

Leanne Ross: Why is Nicola here?

Ruesha: Top of the morning and the luck of the Irish.

Rachel: That’s smashing, which part of Ireland are ye fae?

Kim: She’s doing…WHAT?!

Jo: Put your hearing aid in Kimmy!

Kim: You…are older than me!

Rachel: I want to go help the German kick grans!

Claire: I can’t believe we still refer to her as ‘The German’

Caroline: Why? It’s just like us referring to Martha and Kirsty as Sassenachs.  

Kirsty: Don’t be rude.

Martha: You wouldn’t like it if we called you a Teuchter…..

Kim: I’m not sure this is what Shelley meant by ‘Team bonding’…And someone needs to go and stop Sophie from pushing grans aff busses!

Jo: I said nothing of her pushing grans aff busses!

Rachel: YOU CANNY KICK YER GRANNY AFF A BUSSSSS!

Rachel: Aberdeen...modernity beckons...

Kim: Aberdeen...tomorrows already here...

Both: Aberdeen....

Both: *looks at each other*

Lee Alexander: Wonderful. You’re doing great, sweetie!

Jenna Fife: Also good. 

Shannon Lynn: Expected, basically part of the furniture now. Good for her. 

Chloe Arthur: Fantastic. Needs 24 hour supervision.

Jen Beattie: Will probably be Chloe’s 24 hour supervision. 

Rachel Corsie: Back again, are we? 

Hannah Godfrey: Practically English.

Sophie Howard: Das Ist Gut (she gives me nightmares though)

Hayley Lauder: YESSSS GONNNNN THE BIG YIN.

Emma Mitchell: Would deck her gran, fair play to her. 

Kirsty Smith: OCH AYE, she’s fae Edinburgher.

Rachael Boyle: her husband is hilarious and she’s from aberdeen…what more could you want? and her patter is quality x 

Leanne Crichton: surprised she’s allowed to take time off from the bbc… 

Lucy Graham: Eh.

Sam Kerr: The only Sam Kerr that matters. 

Christie Murray: Her gf liked my tweet yesterday….totally irrelevant to her football ability but she’s class

Caroline Weir: sneaks cocoa pops into pre-match meals

Erin Cuthbert: Wee Ez. Legend.

Claire Emslie: thinks she’s immune to heat cause she’s spend time in Australia. Shitebag. 

Lisa Evans: Her rightful place, aye. 

Abbi Grant: LEGEND ALL ROUND.

Jane Ross: Couldn’t kick her gran.