its been

The earthy smell of rain is one of the most divine scents I’ve ever beheld.

i have a box of bacteria that produce that scent and i sniff it whenever i need to feel something real

is this a personal box of bacteria?

How did you get a box of stinky bacteria

they were part of an abandoned project where people were complaining that giant industrial chicken farms smell like shit (because they are covered in chicken shit) and so it was some scientists’ idea to mix in petrichor-scented bacteria into the chicken litter/manure so the farms would instead smell like grass after the rain. idk why it never took off but the bacteria is mine now and i huff it hard.

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

girl asks me to use her like a toy so i put her in a row with several other girls sorted by name alphabetically & sit there silently looking at her

Mommy doesn't get it. Explain the joke. Explain the joke for Mommy.

absolutely incomprehensible baby walked ahead of its parents into my job. babbling babbling babbling at me and I couldn't understand a word. and you must know i speak fluent baby babble so i was like what is up little baby. i can't understand a word you're saying. then its parents walked in fully speaking Swedish. I speak fluent baby but not Swedish you see.