clown town

vampire: My darling, my eternal flame, my heart's joy taken human form... you simply must drink water your blood tastes like shit.

Spellcasters hate this fact but if you just stick your fingers in their mouth while they're casting a spell with a verbal component it's literally more effective than a counter spell.

This also works with pinning their hands against the wall when they're trying to use somnatic components.

Basically if you make out sloppy style while pressed against a wall the spellcasters can't do anything

You're really gonna try chain lightning with a tongue in your mouth? You think that won't end horribly? You think you have more HP than me?

Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the "G"s

I heard thats where they get the "G"s for cell phone service

This is a lie I’m going to tell a small child one day

We can do it right now.

"oh its probably like a hundre-HUH."