・❥・𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂

Rainbow Dash is a skinny masc I don’t make the rules. Also she 100% would be a pilot

《Malia Baker as Sunset Shimmer》

Quite a common fancast/faceclaim for Twilight but let's be honest Maitreyi is perfect. Plus everyone knows human Twilight would be Indian thank you very much<3

《The Flintstriker: Hunger Games ~ Haymitch Abernathy》

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It had been weeks since Haymitch won and weeks more since Burdock showed him Lenore Dove’s grave. Long enough for the leaves to look like blood and the trees to die with summer.

It was the first school year Haymitch would not attend, not because he wasn’t allowed to but because he knew that in less than a year, when the world had life again, he’d be leading two of his old classmates to their deaths.

For now, though, the people of District 12 were grateful. Their children fed and breathing. Haymitch alone in the too big, too fancy house he now called home.

He knew the people of 12 talked about him, if their stares were anything to go by. He even caught sight of kids peeking in his windows to catch a glimpse of 12’s newest living legend, the way Burdock and he used to peek into what would eventually become his very house.

Tonight, as he walked through town, he tried to avoid their prying eyes. He’d waited for a night like this, pouring rain, pitch-black darkness, and a hood covering his head.

The house he used to live in with his mother and Sid was now just a pile of charred wood. Standing there in the rain, surrounded by debris, Haymitch felt like an actual kid, and it made him want to cry.

He walked quietly through the yards of the next two houses, careful to not be seen, and stopped once he reached the front door of the McCoy’s. A light was on; electricity having been working since his games. It took him a while to knock but when he did it took only a second for Cayson McCoy to answer.

“Haymitch.” He said, “Yuh alright?”

Cayson looked like his sister. Same eyes, same hair, same smile.

“Lou-” Haymitch’s voice got caught, it felt like he could barely breathe. “Lou-”

Cayson put a hand to Haymitch’s chest, worry on his face. In the back of his mind, Haymitch could tell there was commotion coming from somewhere in the house.

“Haymitch, give me the bottle.” Cayson said, gently taking the flask of moonshine out of his hand. He’d forgotten he’d had it. “Why don’t you come inside, alright? We were just havin’ a bite a food if you wanna join us?”

“Alright.”

“Who is it, Cay?” Mr. McCoy’s voice rang out.

“It’s a- it's Haymitch. I was just ‘bout to invite him in.”

In a moment, Mr. McCoy was standing there in the doorway. “Haymitch... come on in son. Lord you must be chilled to the bone, walkin’ round like that in the pourin’ rain.”

The McCoy house looked just like what his used to, except more crowded. Seven pairs of eyes starred at him, Mr. and Mrs. McCoy and five of their children. Louella was of course absent, but in a weird way, it felt as if she was just in the next room over, not laying six feet under in the cemetery.

“Oh sugar, how are you?” Mrs. McCoy said softly, hugging him. “Sit sit sit. We were just ‘bout to have some dinner.”

Haymitch was sat across from Cayson and in the middle of Louella’s two older sisters, Ima and Della. Louella’s eldest brother Beau and youngest brother Hasil sat side by side with Cayson, Mr. And Mrs. McCoy taking the heads of the table. Haymitch got the sinking feeling that he was in Louella’s spot, the family’s stares crowding him as if he were her.

“You know, I've been sayin’ that we should a had you over for weeks now.” Mrs. McCoy exclaimed, breaking the awkward silence. “I mean my goodness you were practically raised in this house. We’re all real happy you decided to stop by.”

Mrs. McCoy had always been known as a kind lady, never the type to argue and never the type to make a fuss. She chatted on, filling the dinner with news of other Seam families and of what the McCoy kids were up to. She didn’t ask him any questions and for that he was grateful. He could tell she was on edge, they all were. He wondered why she didn’t hate him.

“Haymitch uh, you eatin’?” Cayson asked, nodding to Haymitch’s untouched plate.

“Oh. I got enough food at the house. Anyhow, I don’t really have an appetite these days,” Haymitch’s mouth was dry, and his voice cracked like a kid’s. “I didn’t really um- I didn’t really come here for food.”

Their forks awkwardly stilled and he could tell they were waiting for him to speak. With a shaky breath, he turned to Mr. McCoy and started what he’d spent weeks practicing in the mirror, “I remember the day your daughter was born. Uh, Me, Burdie, and Blair had been playin’ in the schoolyard, and I remember you liftin’ her outta the window for the whole town to see.”

Mr. McCoy’s face looked like stone, his jaw locked in place.

“When we got on the train, after the reaping, first thing we talked about was bein’ allies. For Maysilee and Wyatt it took some time but for her and I there wasn’t any doubt. We wanted to do it together.”

The table was silent.

Haymitch took a breath, “What I’m about to tell y’all you can’t tell anyone. Please. You have to promise me you won’t tell a single soul.”

“Haymitch, you alright bud?” Cayson asked, his voice on edge.

“You all have to promise me. The Capitol went through a hell of a time keepin’ this quiet alright? I need you to promise that won’t tell anyone outside of this room, not family, not friends, no one can know I was here. Please.”

At the mention of the Capitol, the family shared glances, no doubt frightened by what they let into their house tonight.

“Go on son,” Mr. McCoy said. “We promise.”

Haymitch put his hands together, keeping his eyes on the untouched plate.

“During the Capitol and the Arena, they didn’t show Louella a whole lot, did they?”

“There were a lot of kids this year son, makes since-”

“No! No, okay that’s not why they didn’t show her,” he voice cracked. “They didn’t show her because she didn’t die in the arena.”

If he’d thought the family had been quiet before, now the table’s silence felt like death.

“What are you saying son?” Mr. McCoy asked carefully.

“She didn’t die in the arena, alright? She died during the tribute parade.”

“What-”

“There was a pause in the footage wasn’t there? 6 minutes, just like the reaping. One of the horses in another chariot had gotten spooked and our’s tipped over. I tried to grab for her Mr. McCoy I really did,” tears were coming down his face. “But when looked up, she was already gone, taken up quick. I picked up her body an- I was scared the Capitol people were gonna take her away. Eventually they did.”

“Haymitch,” Mrs. McCoy interrupted, gripping his hands. “If Louella really did die in that parade as you say, then who was the little girl who went in the arena? The one they dressed up as my girl.”

He knew they’d ask and still he didn’t know how to fully explain.

“The next day we had training and afterward I was taken to the President’s mansion. I spoke to Snow and then she was just there, alive and breathing. I’d thought for a second they’d cured her, taken the death out and brought her back. But it wasn’t her, you could tell up close like how wax ain’t water. Only thing she kept saying was 'Hello, my name is Louella McCoy. I’m from District 12.' I’d thought for a second she wasn’t real you know, just some mutt they’d made as a trick, but she was.”

He looked up to meet Mrs. McCoy’s horror-stricken eyes. “She couldn’t even remember what her name was cause they’d had hurt her so bad- so we- Maysilee, Wyatt and I called her Lou Lou. God, she couldn’t of been more than ten years old. Eventually we figured out she came from Eleven, ‘parently they got so many people there they never know who to miss. Lou Lou is the one who died in that arena, I was there with her, I saw. I don’t know what they did to her body, but I checked your daughter’s casket when we got back on the train. I made sure it was really her, okay?”

Mrs. McCoy looked like she was about to throw up. Mr. McCoy looked like he was about to kill.

“I don’t know how many other kids they done this to, but I know they’ve done it before. I thought if anyone had the right to know it was you. I wanted you to know how your daughter died, how quick it was and how she never had to go in that arena. And I wanted you to know about the girl who got killed pretending to be her.”

He stood up from the table and made his way to the door, finally done with the conversation he’d practiced for weeks. Before he could leave however, Mrs. McCoy turned him around and hugged him in an iron grip.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I knew it wasn’t my baby girl in that interview, thank you.”

“Haymitch,” said Cayson, “I know you said we couldn’t tell anyone but-”

“No- no no no no, you can’t tell anyone you promised!”

If Snow finds out they know and that I was the one who told them, they’ll be dead. Dead as Ma and Sid and Louella and Lou Lou. He thought. Dead because of me. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Son, it’s alright calm yourself. Deep breathes that’s it,” Mr. McCoy patted his back, murder still in his eyes. “Cayson’s jus’ a little worked up is all, didn’t mean to spook you. Now we believe alright, but ya can’t drop somethin’ that big and leave us to pick it up ourselves.”

Sensing the reunion going south Mrs. McCoy interjected, “I’ll put the little ones to bed, I think they’ve heard enough tonight. Cayson an’ Papa here will get you sorted Haymitch. Lord knows keepin’ secrets doesn’t do a lick a good.”

Haymitch sat back down in front of Cayson as the rest of the McCoy kids were corralled into the other room, the dinner plates still not cleared away. He remembered how Beau had just turned eighteen and Haymitch was surprised he wasn’t allowed to stay.

“You said they done this before, son? You got proof?” Mr. McCoy asked.

“No but they did it so quickly, I know they didn’t learn how to do that in a day.”

Mr. McCoy had always been as even tempered as his wife, the gentle, funny man three doors down. Tonight, he looked like a wolf caught in a trap, desperate to bite. Haymitch just hoped he wasn’t one of the people Mr. McCoy wanted to hurt.

“Haymitch, this is big,” Cayson said. “Folks need to know that happened in the Capitol alright? They deserve to know what might happen to their children.”

“You can’t tell anyone.”

“Then we’ll do it anonymously or in secret. My sister and that girl deserve it. You said it yourself she couldn’t have been over ten.”

“No alright, you can’t tell.”

Haymitch pleaded now, scared for what Cayson might do.

“If you tell, they’ll come for you, all of you. You tell people, and eventually they’ll track it back and they’ll know it was you. You’ll be as dead as Ma and Sid and Lenore Dove.”

“Those were accidents Haymitch-”

“No, they weren’t. Everyone says that but I know they weren’t. I did somethin’ the Capitol didn’t like and now they’re dead. You don’t know the Capitol like I do Mr. McCoy. I know it was them.”

Mr. McCoy and Cayson shared a look, no doubt wondering what they’d let into their house for dinner.

“I promise,” Mr. McCoy said, training his steel-colored eyes on Haymitch. “We promise.”

Haymitch was too tired to say anything else, he felt as if he’d been walking on cracked ice and finally made it to the shore. He got up to leave, sharing one last glance with Louella’s Pa.

"You're a good kid Haymitch. Better than you ought to be."

I think a lot of authors feel the need to have the romance subplots in their books be this grand 'once in a life time' kinda love and I just don't think that's realistic for teenagers, esp Haymitch and Lenore Dove. For one, we don't actually know anything about how they fell in love- only how they met- and we actively see her not trust him with the rebellious/illegal part of her life (even though he's stated to have come from a family with that background).

We know why he likes her (she's pretty and sings and speaks her mind), but why does she like him? I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this simplistic dynamic if it's simplicity had been purposeful but that's just not the case- in the book they're in love, always have, always will be. No perspective/value-based disagreements to be seen.

With Peeta and Katniss it was beautiful to read about them falling in love over the course of the og trilogy because it felt like naturally shifting ebbs and flows in how they viewed each other as people, not just as love interests. It's the reason I think they're one of the best/if not the best example of a romantic subplot in YA fiction.

I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I think it would have been way more tragic if Haymitch's 'girl' had just been a regular high school girlfriend whose death haunts him not because he's so madly in love with her but because she was an innocent person. An innocent person who could have gone on to find real genuine love and a life of her own but was killed because of him. A character doesn't have to mourn a person they were romantically involved with for the sole reason that their love was quote unquote 'everlasting'. That sort of love is only created over time and through mutually experienced hardship- something these two characters have not gone through together.

To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of his girlfriend being Covey either but a lot of other people have posted about why they don't like that so I thought I'd share this opinion instead cause I haven't seen anyone else bring it up. I'm not saying that I totally hate their dynamic, I just mourn what could have been an incredibly complex relationship and experience with grief.

I just finished playing this game with my roommate (they've played before but I knew nothing about it) and wanted to analyze all of the poems in the game cause I'm an English major and it's kinda what I do.

I picked probably over 15 Yuri words and 0 Natsuki words for this first day so I picked Natsuki first for reading the poems when I played:)

‘Eagles Can Fly’ by Natsuki

'Eagles Can Fly' is certainly the simplest we get on this day but I don't think that makes it bad by any means.

Here, Natsuki uses a couple different rhymes with 'leap' & 'seek' as well as with 'fly' and 'try'. She also repeats the 'r' sound with the words 'race' & 'run'. Though this poetic form doesn't create any set traditional rhyme scheme, it helps a lot with the flow/melody of the stanza. Her repeat of the word 'can' also has the intended effect of an ongoing repetition before being broken/taken away in the last line.

Syllables are used in an interesting way here as well, with line 1-7 following a 4 syllable structure and line 8 breaking this with a 5 syllable line. Though simple in content, it's obvious she put quite a bit of thought into the poetic format and how it might connect to the main thesis of her poem.

Her use of animals is also very distinct, with mammals at the start of odd lines and non-mammals at the beginning of even lines. Her using the word 'But' at the end both adhers to this format and breaks it down. If you can't tell by now, she's put a lot of effort into separating the first 7 lines from the last line. By only using punctuation on the last line as well, she's equating this poem with a single sentence- which I find very interesting.

Now to the meat/meaning of the poem! For the first 6 lines, Natsuki is specifically describing instinctual actions done by wild animals. When she says that 'insert animal' can do something, it's meant to be read as a fact. When she gets to people however, she says, 'People can try'. This is meant to call out the non-instinctual nature of humans and how the actions she speaks of when describing animals is not wholly natural to people.

She confirms this with the last line, 'But that's about it'. These last two lines 'People can try- But that's about it.' go really well together and I think they do a really good job of describing the 'trying'/non-instinctual nature of human actions. 'Eagles can fly' also lends to this meaning, with flying being the only thing humans cannot do without their own inventions.

I first posted this in a reblog on another post of mine about Santos and Langdon but I thought I might as well post it on its own. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this analysis(tw: self-harm/SH)

When thinking of addiction the first things which pops into most people's minds are alcoholism, drug addiction, and gambling. And while these certainly are all huge examples of addictions, it's important to note that addiction can take many forms.

The HSE/Health Service Executive (that's the public healthcare system here in Ireland) defines addiction as a "means of having a powerful urge to do, take or use something. This can be to a point where it is harmful to you or the people around you."

As we have been shown through her interactions with others, Santos is a character who views actions through a means of harm. To others, she is willing to tease and make deprecating jokes because- A. It helps her deflect from her own internal issues & trauma and- B. She doesn't view it as being overtly harmful. That being said, she is very finely in-tune to noticing harm done to children, specifically physical harm.

From what we can gather of the backstory she has shared, Santos is someone who was unfortunately taken advantage of (perhaps sexually) by an older authority figure. We also know that she did not experience this abuse alone and that a friend which experienced this as well unfortunately killed themselves. Sadly, it's no wonder that this past has made her pay close attention to the treatment of child patients in the ER.

In this season however, we also learn from a split second scene in the bathroom, that Santos has been inflicting SH onto herself. It's here that I want to go back to this definition of addiction. Though debated whether or not SH is an 'official' addiction, most organizations would agree that it at the very least acts in the same way an addiction would (ie with intense emotions & the repeated physical urge to do something for relief or out of a craving).

Though just my personal theory at the moment, I think that Santos has a very distinct perspective on the reality of harm. She is someone very focused on how actions affect and hurt other people. However, as we've seen with the evidence of her own SH, she most likely doesn't perceive harm done by herself- onto herself in the same way. She also might rationalize it as inconsequential due to the fact that she is not distinctly trying to kill herself.

As she continues to develop throughout this season and the next, I expect her mental health to play a large part in her development and characterization. Her learning to understand the harm she inflicts onto herself as an addiction/addiction-like action will probably play a big role in her future storyline if that is the case. I think her interactions with Langdon as the show progresses might also focus heavily on this.

Langdon is a character whose addiction has very heavily affected the people around him (in many negative & harmful ways). Having his character be reported by and in opposition to someone like Santos not only makes sense narratively, but could make for a really beautifully done thematic conversation about addictions, harm, & mental health in medicine.

I've also seen a large amount of hate towards Santos recently so I hope this has maybe changed your perspective on her a bit. She is certainly a person with a lot of baggage and isn't the best at separating her trauma with current work-situations. That being said, I think full on dog-piling on her without being empathetic towards where she's coming from can have a lot of bad ramifications for how she's characterized by fans of this show. All in all, I'm just really excited to see how she continues to develop<3

Dr. Al Hashimi has really grown on me over this season and intrigued me more and more so I went and did some digging. As such, I'd like to explain her canon backstory and how it influences her as a character.

When Al Hashimi is first introduced to Abbott we get this little exchange about her past working in Kabul's Dasht-e-Barchi hospital- which then Abbott exclaims was a tragedy. When searching I found that this was an actual incident in Kabul's Dasht-e-Barchi hospital maternity ward, which took place on May 12, 2020. It was here that at least 24 people including new born babies, mothers, and medical personal were shot and killed (the midwife Maryam Noorzad was specifically named as a victim).

What was so horrific about this attack was that it was specifically mothers, babies, and health staff which were targeted. One woman was even reported to have been forced to give birth whilst sheltering amidst the attack. Though the attackers remain unknown (at least according to the Doctors Without Borders website) the massacre most likely was the result of a large amount of attacks targeting the Hazara ethnic group.

Though I don't think this is the only reason why Al Hashimi needs to see a neurologist, I certainly think her trauma after such an event can tell us a great deal about her as a person. I'm also willing to bet that her seeing the baby earlier this season is what triggered this trauma.

I think it's easy to see a character like Al Hashimi be introduced after the events of Pittfest last season and assume that she is a cushiony doctor from the VA without any experience in crisis when this couldn't be further from the truth. Robby seems to be especially fixed within this mindset which I can't really blame him for with how much of an effect Pittfast has had on him.

It's also interesting to see the difference between Al Hashimi and Robby in the aftermath of these events. Whilst Robby closes in on himself, unwilling to get help and only concerned in pushing down any symptoms of PTSD he might have, Al Hashimi is the exact opposite. When she sees she's having neurological symptoms most likely related to this PTSD she immediately calls a neurologist in the middle of her shift.

On top of that, Al Hashimi has placed a huge focus on empathy in the workplace for staff which again is opposite to Robby in how he's been treating Mohan. Her also wanting to get rid of the name 'The Pitt' for the ER so as to not give it any negative connotations is probably related to her empathetic outlook as well. Working with Doctors Without Borders has certainly made her someone that's used to unhelpful or downright nonexistent healthcare systems so it makes sense that she doesn't balk at trying to make the ER better.

The fact that she's able to have the outlook she does after going through a massacre of this scale (during the start of COVID mind you) tells you everything you need to know about her core values. Though I disagree with her support of AI, I can't help but love her as a character and I think she's becoming one of my favorites in the entire show. Whatever future conversations we get between her and Robby or from her talking about her past in general will be heartwrenching.

**If you'd like to learn more about the massacre in Dasht-e-Barchi, here is an explanation of it from the Doctors Without Borders website where I got much of this information. I also highly recommend reading the personal accounts from the health staff. It really puts into perspective how heartbreaking of a tragedy this was, not only for them but also for it's effect on the state of women's healthcare in Afghanistan as a whole:

The hardest question you could ask me truly<3

Just finished s2ep3 for the first time and holy shit that was so good! I found myself shocked at so many moments- this episode honestly felt like a finale ep instead of an intro ep to the season. It was also so cool seeing Spike on screen for the first time and I can already see why he's a fan favorite. I didn't realize he'd be introduced so early and seeing how he's taken control of the vampires so quickly was so fun!

A list of moments that left me gobsmacked:

Spike's Introduction: I thought at first that the person stepping out of the car would be the new Slayer but then it turned out to be him! I did not think that we would get him this early but oh my gosh we did and I am so happy about it. I'm also super interested in Druisella as well cause at first I didn't think she was a vampire (I was thinking witch or banshee) just by her demeanor. Even though we know she's a vampire now that she turned Shay (? I'm pretty sure that's her name) I still think she's something else- like a different vampire variant of some sort (Spike also seems the kind to go for someone like that). Also him attacking the school was crazy

2. Angel being Spike's Sire: I had to pause when this was revealed. I can't imagine what Buffy will say when she finds out + I'm wondering how she'll find out- if it'll be Xander, Angel, or Spike who tells. No matter what, this is for sure going to have a lot of juicy implications later on, esp since we really see Xander & Angel getting a lot closer this ep (probably bc they both are in the same boat with their unrequited romantic feelings & loyalty for Buffy). I'm guessing somewhere down the line, after the strength/individuality of Spike is repeatedly asserted that Xander might ask Angel to turn him as well. Perceived masculinity is so important to his character so I can definitely see this happening. The last thing I'll say about this is that it really sets up Buffy and Spike as mirrors with both of them being so unlike their 'parent'. I'm dying to see how this Sire relationship will affect the story & I think it's by far the coolest reveal of the ep.

3. The Kid/Anointed being Killed by Spike: Again. Insane. Spike has really showed himself as an opposite to the traditional vampires in this show and while he's not as subversive as Angel (probably bc he still doesn't have a soul from what we know of) we still can see how different he is in completing his goals. He cares far more about getting things done than on following traditional mystical rules (as seen with him trying to kill Buffy before the super special vampire day)

4. The Principal Knowing about Vampires/Supernatural Stuff?: We get this scene at the end where the principal is talking with someone about what they'll say to the press and it makes me think he knows way more about what's going on than he let's on. He's the only person besides Buffy's gang & Cordelia that actually brings up past murders (ie the old Principle). It however makes me wonder why he'd be so hard on Buffy if he knows about this stuff- you would think he'd be a lot more lenient. He might be like those government guys who took away the invisible girl last season but that's just a guess.

My Overall Thoughts:

This episode acted as the convergence between Buffy's personal life, school life, and slaying life. First seen mentally in Buffy herself and then manifesting into a physical representation with Spike attacking the school and her mother. I think it handled these themes really well and I'm expecting the show to continue with them.

I found this episode to also really show how invested and well-practiced Xander and Willow are now (Spike even makes a nod to it at the end about Buffy's friend's helping her). That scene where Willow saves Cordy by beating a vampire with a head bust was awesome! We're really starting to see how the rest of these characters (including Buffy's mother) are affected by the supernatural stuff around them (even if they don't know about it).

Lastly I just want to say that I love these female characters so much, even Shay (again I forget if this is her name) & Druisella have hooked me in this ep and I really hope we see more of them in the future. I also want to go back and post an essay on the techno-pagan teacher cause I really like her as a side character as well as the episode from season 1 which combines supernatural demons with introduction of widespread technology (such a cool meta textual concept esp since it was also the og conflict between her and Giles)