stevienbuck

CHRIS EVANS 

What’s your number?, dir. Mark Mylod // 2011

We love you, Colin Shea!!

Leaning from mom

Added note:  THIS DOES NOT APPLY IF THE ITEM IS OPENED OR THE SEAL IS COMPROMISED IN ANY WAY

“Why can’t i jump like that :/“ 

If you wanted to yell your request for information to your friend on the other side of a loud, crowded party in, like, 3 words, what 3 words would you pick? Those are your search terms.

So in our example in the first post, you do NOT type the full question into your search engine. Making google parse things like ‘list’, ‘5′, and ‘explain’ is going to muddy your results, and this is especially true if you care enough about your data that you’re not using google. Your search terms (WITHOUT quotation marks) would be “famous Africans”, or “famous African people” or “prominent Africans” if you want to be more discerning about what kinds of answers you get.

If you do a lot of online research (as kids in school should do), you pretty quickly get a sense of what sorts of terms are best. For instance, “famous African people” is better than “famous Africans” because the latter is likely to be keywords in a lot of fluff journal article titles, whereas “famous African people” is more likely to bring up lists. “Prominent” will bring up more wealthy businessmen and political leaders, whereas “famous” will bring up more entertainers. But any of these will work. Just pretend the search engine is someone who can’t hear you very well and wants the clearest question in the smallest number of words.

(Although this specific example is bad because anyone with internet research experience answering this question would just go straight to wikipedia, who have lists of these kinds of things, and pick 5 names they like the sound of).

Also, if you wanna get fancy, print this out and stick it on your wall:

(link to higher resolution image)

Google (and other engines that siphon off its framing)  doesn’t show you what you search for.  It shows you what it *thinks* you want.   And it shows you what an aggregate of other users want.

And it’s getting a lot worse - i’m speaking as someone who absolutely knows how to make a search engine her pinpoint bitch.   You can punch in a search with specific boolean exclusions and it will simply override or ignore them because it thinks it knows better.    

So you don’t have to watch the video every time you need one of these hacks immediately:

1. If you feel nauseated, smell rubbing alcohol.

2. If you feel like throwing up, start humming.

3. If you have a runny nose, put your tongue to the roof of your mouth and press your thumb to your forehead for about 20 seconds.

4. If you have a headache, pinch the webbing between your fingers and rub it back and forth for about 1 minute.

5. If you’re lightheaded from standing up too quickly, clench your butt cheeks.

6. If your arm’s dead/has the pins and needles feeling, rock your head back and forth.

7. If you need to pee badly, think of sex to trick your brain and relieve the pressure.

8. If you have a migraine, stick your hands in ice water.