WHEN I SAY YEE, YOU SAY HAW
YEE
YEE
YEE
PISS
wait hold on

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@ilovesoggybread2
WHEN I SAY YEE, YOU SAY HAW
YEE
YEE
YEE
PISS
wait hold on

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Blessed_fish
*holds post in a tight, loving embrace* hush now post, you did it. you’ve made it back home
soup
everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff
hey op real quick what the Actual fuck
Hey op you do realize that by actually biting a chunk of fucking soap you are in fact the one losing
y'all are just jealous that op is brave enough to monch on the forbidden chocolate…
I’m living
What does the forbidden chocolate taste like
soap
[ID: unfortunately, it’s two photographs of hotel soap with bites taken out of them.]
all this time…. i’ve been on tumblr for years…. i’ve seen this post on my dash, even in screenshots…. but never before have i realized that op is i-am-a-fish.
slather me in yeehaw sauce I wanna be slippery

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when i die i want u all to come to my grave and put stickers on it
I want my dog to pee on my gravestone too
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me
This is the america they don’t want you to see
i love america
This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry
*group of people having fun* this site: wtf this is so scary
People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.
Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”
We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open?
that last bit isn’t a joke
what does facebook think my house looks like
Dope as fuck apparently
lmao😂/smh🙄
Eli Bosnick had the best response to this ridiculousness.
“If I gave you a bowl of skittles and three of them were poison would you still eat them?”
“Are the other skittles human lives?”
“What?”
“Like. Is there a good chance. A really good chance. I would be saving someone from a war zone and probably their life if I ate a skittle?”
“Well sure. But the point-”
“I would eat the skittles.”
“Ok-well the point is-”
“I would GORGE myself on skittles. I would eat every single fucking skittle I could find. I would STUFF myself with skittles. And when I found the poison skittle and died I would make sure to leave behind a legacy of children and of friends who also ate skittle after skittle until there were no skittles to be eaten. And each person who found the poison skittle we would weep for. We would weep for their loss, for their sacrifice, and for the fact that they did not let themselves succumb to fear but made the world a better place by eating skittles.
Because your REAL question…the one you hid behind a shitty little inaccurate, insensitive, dehumanizing racist little candy metaphor is, IS MY LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF MEN, WOMEN, AND TERRIFIED CHILDREN…
… and what kind of monster would think the answer to that question… is yes?”

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“Is cereal a soup?”
-my little sister
See this u demon spawn
cool blog: [follows me]
me: ok but are u aware that i am a massive fucking disappointment
Cool person: [befriends me]
me: ok but are u aware that i am a massive fucking disappointment
i wish i could say “?????????????????” in real life. it would be very useful.
I have a simple solution! Simply put on your favorite hula hoop, cow, moo like a hat, and say, “question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.”
if you don’t see me online a lot that means my life is going good
If you see me online that means my life is getting better bc the internet butters my eggshell
one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald
One time my aunt and uncle almost didn’t get married bc I threw chalk on my uncle and my uncle refused to clean it up

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me: *put two rocks next to each other* fall in love
Me: *touches my fingers together* fall in love
You’ve all heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for
Luigi on my death bed yeah I’m pretty ready for that honey booboo try again