Drunk on Old Cartoons

hate when people are just like “cut out tea and coffee” like it’s nothing like it’s not the biggest sacrifice you can ask of a person i’d rather sell my family and friends to the devil mephistopheles than renounce warm caffeinated beverages be serious

Conservatives getting worked up over satanic imagery will never not be funny. “Guys, stop saying Bloody Mary in the mirror! Guys, stop it! What if she comes to get us?! It’s not funny! Stop saying it!”

idk why people seem to think that if you love pink you hate black or vice versa. Black and pink are not opposing colors in fact they are best friends that kiss sometimes

Looks like we can’t isolate, ignore, ibuprofen our way out of this one boys

caving as an extreme sport is sooo unfathomable to me why are u as a creature of the daylight doing that. were u born without the dread in ur bones or something

a ghost flies into me to possess me and flies out a minute later wheezing and coughing and visibly horrified

a demon tries to possess me but it just bounces off me like it ran headfirst into a glass door

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

Got so used to blocking every new follower I almost blocked a real human

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Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."