ill Makoto

a term for those who feel like they belong in a world where their yumeship is canon.

Vent (yeah again and ? Lemme be depressed)

Let's be clear about something: You will never be Chinese. You will never be Japanese. No amount of identity labels, online performance, or desperate tagging will change your ethnicity. Those are real cultures, real histories, real people — not costumes you can put on because you feel empty inside.

You're not "transJapanese." You're a lonely person who's so desperate for belonging that you've convinced yourself that claiming an ethnicity you have no connection to will fill the void. It won't. It doesn't. And every time you use those tags, you're not respecting anyone — you're appropriating real identities to prop up your own fragile sense of self.

We read your entire post. We saw the part about your father. We saw the part about your twin. We saw the part about wanting anyone — even creepy people — to give you attention. And here's the uncomfortable truth: that's exactly what you're getting from us right now. You're posting this publicly, hoping someone will notice, hoping someone will care. And we're noticing. But we're not caring.

We're documenting.

You want to be loved? You want to be someone's favorite? You won't get that by pretending to be a race you're not. You won't get that by posting your trauma in a tag full of people who normalize harmful attractions. You won't get that by chasing attention from anyone who will give it to you, no matter how degraded the source.

You're not a victim of the world. You're a victim of your own choices — choices to embrace an ideology that alienates you further, choices to perform identities that will never accept you, choices to broadcast your pain instead of processing it.

Your twin may not care. Your brothers may not care. But we care — about exactly how predictable this is. We've seen this script a hundred times. A lonely, traumatized person finds radqueer, finds the validation they couldn't get anywhere else, and spirals. You're not unique. You're not special. You're just another data point.

You want to be loved? Start by being someone worth loving. Start by abandoning the labels that are only making you more isolated. Start by getting real help, not fake identities.

But you won't. Because that would require admitting that radqueer isn't saving you — it's using you.

So keep posting. Keep tagging. Keep pretending that being "transJapanese" will make someone finally care about you.