tell me, o muse, the tale

every time i see this, ive managed to forget about it and it newly becomes the best thing ive ever seen

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

Fun thing about football right now is that there's a move called the "brotherly shove" that the Eagles do when they're very close to scoring, where the whole team puts their hands on the ass of the guy with the ball and physically propels him over the line into the endzone for the touchdown, and all the other teams' fans hate it because it's got such a ridiculously high rate of success for the Eagles and doesn't really seem to work for any other team. People are straight-up calling for this move to be banned, claiming it's "unstoppable" and gives an "unfair advantage" but it really and truly is a skill issue. The whole league hates this move because it only makes the Eagles win more often and nobody else can figure out how to do it right

I think Odysseus is the guy everyone else makes talk to the cops when they show up to bust the party.

I think he could do a really good “Hello officer, how are you?” if he had to.

Athena is standing behind him whispering the bylaws into his ear.

hold on i need to look this up

it’s been 15 minutes have you finished reading the Odyssey yet?

I always imagine that one scene of Athena holding back Achilles from murdering Agamemnon in book 1 as her holding his by his neck like a cat while he writhes and hisses

my orc bard in Pathfinder is named Gronk Ballspeaker