Cyanide

Character duo where one *remembers I don’t like fitting characters into trope boxes* is a completely fleshed out and realised person *remembers treating characters as real people and not story devices written with intent is bad* who is written by the author and *remembers death of the author* uh. And *fumbles and drops my pile of queue cards* ah fuck wait no *the menacing horse* what was that.

using violence to liberate people from sweatshops, unsafe mines, and grinding poverty isn't the same as using violence to impose those things on people. the idea that violence is morally repugnant regardless of context is a belief that every oppressor throughout history would love for the oppressed to hold

messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the adventuring party will still be like "waaa its a shapeshifter waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the earth and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.

"It doesn't help your credibility to exaggerate, most employers wouldn't literally work you to death" like, I used to work in distribution. If booking a truck driver for back to back shifts until they fall asleep at the wheel, crash, and die counts as being worked to death, I have personally met employers who've worked employees to death and gotten away with a slap on the wrist. It may not be universal, but it's a hell of a lot more common than a lot of us would prefer to think.

Every single labor protection is written in the blood of those who were literally worked to death, and business owners and profiteers would claw those protections back with glee if they could. They will squeeze every red cent from your body if they are allowed, and write off your death for an insurance payout that they'll try to pocket for themselves while hiring your replacement for half the pay they gave to you.

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

Tumblr is trying so hard not to let me post the funniest lent picture I've ever seen but I don't give up easy

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

Top ten glands in your body to produce venom with

for sure the balls

Your conjecture is baseless. Let’s see what the science says.

It said balls

harrow the ninth Book Of All Time actually. gaslights the audience immediately. doesn’t answer any of the questions from the last book until like 300 pages in. complete perspective shift. complete tonal shift. god is making poe references and meme references in the same breath. blink and you’ll miss it lore drops that are actually critical to understanding what’s going on. so so much grief. Book Of All Time.

What if this video was about a witch and a cat in the alps or some shit

Anyway I'm thinking about witches and wizards a lot because my house has been planning an Evil Wizard Movie Night series where we and our friends watch movies about evil wizards while dressed up as evil wizards. What kinds of snacks do you think evil wizards eat.

evil wizards eat green grapes. prepare two bowls: one frozen and one microwaved. then mix them together. you’ll be surprised!

Not that I condone the actions of evil wizards, my liege, but I would suggest perhaps some hummus and pita chips. You can't go wrong with hummus and pita chips.

not now evil advisor… im trying to trick people into microwaving grapes again

the internet is a place for reading wikipedia articles and watching every movie for free. social media is an invasive species. never forget this