how to tell your friends you know theyre all secretly sick and tired of you and will soon leave you for dead ? and is it going to rain, tomorrow
It's a trap! They already know that you know, it's part of a twisted game to see who will blink first. And it's going to rain for the rest of days, actually.
I used to think I was so clever, pre-empting everyone's eventual betrayal and departure from my life, until I realized that what was actually going on was that I was externalising and projecting my own unresolved sense of self-loathing onto those I loved, convinced that since that's how I felt about myself, that must therefore be how everyone else felt about me too. Thus the answer to OP's question - you have to tell yourself first, and then determine whether it's actually true or not. Then - and this is the tricky part - you have to learn how to like yourself. How do you accomplish that? Well, you kind of have to learn to trust that when people say they love and care for you, that they actually mean it. Which, if you're predisposed to thinking that they secretly loathe you, is no small feat.
Alternatively, consider the following scenario: what would you say to one of your friends who expressed this sentiment to you? How would it make you feel to be told this is what they thought of you? To be told that what you feel for them is a lie, either to torment them with false hope, or in some misguided attempt to spare the feelings of somebody you supposedly can't stand? Think about this every time those old thoughts and doubts resurface. That's what I found effective, in these moments - maybe it'll help you too.
...I appreciate this was likely just a lighthearted shitpost and I ruined the joke with my screed, but if life has taught me anything, it's that if you tell yourself a certain story about yourself for long enough, you eventually come to believe it to be true. Be careful what stories you tell yourself about yourself, and don't underestimate the power of a little self-kindness every once in a while.
...skies are overcast over here, but the clouds will soon part. I'd take a raincoat, however, just to be safe.
I have Attachment anxiety :)
