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I liveeeeeeeeeee for pranks!

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

look if movies being like 2.5 hours long is just gonna be the norm from now on then we gotta bring back intermissions. please let me piss.

There is legit an app called “RunPee” that tells you when you can get up and go pee without missing anything important. You hit the timer when the movie starts and then it vibrates when you can make a pee run. It even gives you a little summary of what you missed that you can read while you pee.

Reblogging to save lives

Oh my god I need this

I have to pee in literally every movie this is a great idea!??!?

This actually IS great. I generally have to start limiting my fluids the day BEFORE I see a movie these days if I want any hope of getting through the whole thing. Bless this!

op you will lose your liver in 3 days

can we please have more aggressively polite memes in the world???

Need me a squad like this

Grey shirt had me feelin things

im def the guy in the plaid shirt lol 

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god