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@idrownfishes2
Still odd Ruby didn’t do anything about Cardin messing with Velvet.
Do you remember the early seasons? Ruby didn't give a FUCK about faunus issues bro, and in fact, I liked that accidental characterization because it unintentionally served the world-building of RWBY
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Weddings are Fun
Ruby: "I never thought I'd see the day that you marry Jaune of all people."
Weiss: "Oh please. I'm just marrying him ironically, so I can call him slurs for poor people from the comfort of his own home."
Jaune, waving her over: "Weiss, we're taking a picture!"
Weiss, skipping over: "Coming Darling~!"
Winter Knight Goodness
Winter, normally: "I expect strict adhesion to etiquette when you enter our home. Also you will be quizzed on facts about my father and several of the house employees."
Jaune: "Yes ma'am."
---
Winter, after half a drink: *leaning on his shoulder and falling asleep* "Jaaaaaune, tell me I'm cute..."
Peak Literature
The billionaire bisexual ninja wolf flashed his sharp teeth. "I'm here to do the sexy sex at you," he growled rape-ily.
He then raped her, consensually, because he's not a misogynist.
Blake, reading her book and sipping her tea: "Oh yeah. That's the stuff."
Another Day in the CMEN Dorm
Cinder: "All this talk of a daily act of kindness. We're going to start a daily act of villainy!"
Mercury: "What a coincidence, I just finished building the Kitten-Killer 9000."
Neo, holding up a sign: "I'll go plant some poison ivy in a local playground!"
Emerald: "I uh... cut someone in line the other day?"
CEN: .
Cinder: "You know Emerald, sometimes I think your heart's not really in it."
Mercury: "Yeah you feelin' okay?"
Neo, with another sign: "Talk to us girl, we support you all the way!"
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It Be Like It Is
Saphron: "You finally got a girlfriend, and you only had to train in the ever after for decades first! Good for you."
Jaune: "These girls treating me like a corndog. Only want my meat after I got bread."
Bad Teacher
Yang, hanging with Ruby and Jaune: "Do you think Qrow is a bad influence?"
Ruby: "Why would I think?"
Qrow, popping his head through the door: "I'm going out to make a milk and cigarette casserole! Behave yourselves! No homework. Watch some porn or something." *leaves*
Jaune: ... "How'd you turn out as well as you did?"
Long Since Had Enough
Salem: "You've gone through all this trouble to slay me? That hurts my demon soul."
Jaune: "I'm gonna take my foot-long Magnum Dong and hurt your demon hole!"
So wait, are you the original Idrownfish? If so, welcome back, but I'm curious what made you decide to since you seemed adamant about it, especially with deleting your old blog.
I am. I was trying to get away from explicit NSFW stuff but was still writing it, a lot of my posts were ripped from other media (I tagged it properly as best I could, but still), and generally I felt like a hypocrite and that I wasn't well liked.
But it's been a couple years, and I missed the people I came to like. At the end of the day it's just fanfiction and shitposting that I don't get paid for, and I shouldn't have taken myself or what I do that seriously.
Almost Lost Her Cool There
Ruby, after coming back to life and facing her team back in the real world: "So uh... no hard feelings?"
Yang: "You called me a faunus-loving bull dyke who's just like my mom!"
Jaune: "You called me a worthless, bitch-ass nigga!"
Ruby: *tapping her pointer fingers together* "I was going through some stuff..."
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Jaune Got Into Streaming
Jaune, sitting at the computer: "Man I'm playing badly today."
Ruby, watching from out of camera: .
Chat: "That's what happens when you're distracted from getting blown under the desk."
Jaune: "Nah that happens every stream. Can't focus without it. Say hi honey!"
Ruby: *shoves her fist in her mouth and leans close to the mic* "HEwWo."
(Chat proceeds to blow up and at least three hour-long video essays are made about it)
It's Healthy to Push Boundaries
Jaune: "I can't believe you're my girlfriend, this is my dream come true!"
Weiss: "Are you sure? I'm afraid that I'm a bit too... freaky, for most people."
Jaune: "Oh my God thank you."
Weiss: "What?"
Jaune: "Nothing. Tell me what you're into."
Weiss: "I want to watch you have sex with your dad."
Jaune: .
-----
Klein, holding the door open: "Good day Sir. Did you enjoy your stay at Schnee Manor?"
Jaune: "I did not, no."
Ideal Relationship
Sun: "Weiss is your wife? That's great, she single?"
Jaune: "Hold on I'll check."
Sun: "Thanks man."
- Five minutes later -
Jaune: "She backhand slapped me in the nuts, I think you might have a shot."
You're back! Are things going better for you now?
I'm doing alright, thanks for asking, and I'm glad you're still hanging around too.
The Affect of Finally Getting a Girlfriend
Yang: "Hey Vomit Boy," *leans over practically shoving her cleavage in his face* "Do I have something in my teeth?"
Jaune: *staring down* ...
---
Blake: "Excuse me Jaune," *swinging her hips* "I need a man's opinion on this dress."
Jaune: ... *blink* ...
---
Willow: "Oh my!" *touching his chest inappropriately* "Weiss should bring her friends more often."
Weiss: "Mom!"
Jaune: *gritting his teeth*
---
Jaune, sending a text: "Clear your schedule honey. I'm horny and about to make it your problem."
Pyrrha, looking at the text and pumping her fist: "Yus."
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College Time Well Spent
Ms. Goodwitch: "Welcome to Women's History 101."
Yang: *raises hand*
Ms. Goodwitch: "Yes Ms. Xiao-Long?"
Yang: "All I wanna know is who was the first woman to put a dick in her mouth?"
Ms. Goodwitch: "That is not appropriate-"
Yang: "I mean just... so avant-garde! What a pioneer!"
Blake: ... "Well now I'm curious too."
Gifts Are Nice
Ruby: "I got you this anime figurine! I hope you like it!
Jaune: "Wow, thanks!"
.
Jaune: "Uh. So, can I wait to jerk off to it, or do I have to do it now?"
Saphron: "It'd be rude not to Jaune!"
