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@idontwanttocatchpregnancy

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Went through my old posts from when I was a teenager, I think I should blow my head smooth off.
It's me and MS paint against the world.
grandpa was banned from using social media after this

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I would like to present: reverse parent/childe max and benny where when people get mad at benny they tell him to āgo ask your dadā.
That is hilarious.
I can imagine a giant, raging Benny standing behind a much smaller, meeker looking Max while Max apologises;
"I am sorry for my childe's poor behaviour, I will talk with him about it. Please, take care."
And Benny is foaming at the mouth, absolutely livid.
And Max just turns to him like;
"Apologise. Right now, Benny."
My Phyre would not be able to stop himself from laughing, I fear.
ššš±'š¢š„ššš§ ā” || Nov 28 2025
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
āØššoctober won't be a shit stormššāØ
like to charge, reblog to cast
$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think
Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.
uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018
Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.
Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today
fuck it, i never ever do thoseĀ āreblog for X, this one really works!ā posts, but this one doesnāt have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesnāt even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes
May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future youāll love
May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future youāll love
$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think
Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

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reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future
golden eagle having a relaxing time
This is the worldās largest flying Engine of Murder marveling at the fact that it can actually have its tummy rubbed.
I feel like this is the next step up onĀ āloose your fingersā roulette from petting a kittieās tummy, but just below belly rubs for say a lion.
Can someone who knows birds better than I do tell me whether this eagle is as happy as it looks? Ā Because I want it to be happy. Ā It looks so happy. Ā Bewildered by having a friend, but so happy.
Just popping on this thread to confirm: yes, the eagle is happy about the belly rubs. Golden eagles make this sound when receiving allopreening and similar affectionate and soothing treatment from their parents and mates. Itās theĀ āI am safe and well fed, and somebody familiar is taking good care of meā sound. Angry raptors and wounded raptors make some pretty dramatic hisses and shrieks; frightened raptors go dead silent and try to hide if they can, or fluff up big and get loud and in-your-face if hiding isnāt an option. They can easily sever a finger or break the bones of a human hand or wrist, and even with a very thick leather falconerās gauntlet, Iāve known falconers to leave a mews (hawk house) with graphic punctures THROUGH the gauntlet into the meat of their hands and arms, just from buteos and kestrels way smaller than this eagle. A pissed off hawk will make damn sure you donāt try twice whatever you pulled that pissed her off, even if sheās been human-imprinted.
If youāre ever unsure about an animalās level of okayness with something thatās happening, there are three spot-check questions you can ask, to common-sense your way through it:
1. Is the animal capable of defending itself or making a threatening or fearful display, or otherwise giving protest, and if so, is it using this ability? (e.g. dog snarling or biting, swan hissing, horse kicking or biting)Ā 2. Does the animal experience an incentive-based relationship with the human? (i.e. does the animal have a reason, in the animalās frame of reference, for being near this human? e.g. dog sharing companionship / food / shelter, hawk receiving good quality abundant food and shelter and medical care from a falconer)
3. Is the animal a domesticated species, with at least a full century of consistent species cohabitation with humans? (Domesticated animals frequently are conditioned from birth or by selective breeding to be unbothered by human actions that upset their feral nearest relatives.)
In this situation, YES the eagle can self-defend, YES the eagle has incentive to cooperate with and trust the human handler, and NO the eagle is not a domesticated species, meaning we can expect a high level of reactivity to distress, compared to domestic animals: if the eagle was distressed, it would be pretty visible and apparent to the viewer. These arenāt a universally applicable metric, but theyāre a good start for mammal and bird interactions.
Pair that with the knowledge that eagles reserve those chirps for calm environments, and you can be pretty secure and comfy in the knowledge that the big honkinā birb is happy and cozy.
Also, to anybody wondering, falconers are almost single-handedly responsible for the recovery from near-extinction of several raptor species, including and especially peregrine falcons. Most hawks only live with the falconer for a year, and most of that year is spent getting the bird in ideal condition for survival and success as a wild breeding adult. Falconers are extensively trained and dedicated wildlife conservationists, pretty much by definition, especially in the continental USA, and they make up an unspeakably important part of the overall conservation of predatory bird species. Predatory birds are an important part of every ecosystem they inhabit. Just like apiarists and their bees, the relationship between falconer and hawk is one of great benefit to the animal and the ecosystem, in exchange for a huge amount of time, effort, expense, and education on the part of the human, for very little personal benefit to that one human. Itās definitely not exploitation of the bird, and most hawks working with falconers are hawks who absolutely would not have reached adulthood without human help: the sick, the injured, and theĀ āruntsā of the nest who donāt receive adequate resources from their own parents. These are, by and large, wonderful people who are in love with the natural world and putting a lifetime of knowledge and sheer exhaustingĀ work into conserving it and its winged wonders.
reblogged for excellent info, Iām so glad that big gorgeous birb really is as happy as it looks!
Todayās bit of positive activism: A reminder that, although the world may contain many bad and awful things, it also contains an enormous winged predator clucking happily as a human gives it a belly rub.
huge āStewards of Creationā vibes from the video
Absolutely. Humans love giving strange creatures belly rubs and so many creatures enjoy the belly rubs. A win win situation :)
Very close to my theory of why humanity has gotten to domesticate so many creatures:
Our phenomenal dexterity allows for superior pats/pets
Black cats are lucky. (viaĀ leahweissmuller)
MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.Ā Not bad luck.Ā I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!
āSee him faceā
I sure fucking do see him face
Him face
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)
Reblog him face for good luck in 2022
Reblog him face for good luck in 2023
This is money cat. He only appears every 1,383,986,917,198,001 posts. If you repost this in 30 seconds he will bring u good wealth and fortune.

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this HAS to have been done before but that won't stop me now
Is your dad Ron Swanson? (via blooper2112)
this is the money axe of good fortune, reblog to receive money and axes