Far Niente

what shane means: i can never love a woman in any way resembling the way i love you and when i tried she called my shit IMMEDIATELY so what im trying to say is i can't sidestep whatever we are the way you can, i will never ever love anyone but u

what ilya hears: somewhere along the line of our multi-year situationship that began with me immediately sucking ur dick, i have determined that i like men.

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

but hear me out: Shane ask not to be coddled and Ilya resorts to ragebaiting him on the ice instead.

Ilya makes an offhand comment about keeping an eye on him during their game and Shane jumps because he’s a professional hockey player, has been for over a decade, he can take the heat thank you very much, and when Ilya points out the whole team will be probably coming for him, he’s like:

“Yes, I am the best fucking player in the league. The entire team coming for me is, like, a normal game night for me”

because he is The Shane Hollander and Ilya is kinda proud and very turned on by the sudden cockiness.

Until game night rolls around and ofc some of the team make comments about having Hollander’s back and Ilya has to swear he didn’t put them up to it (Shane won’t admit it but it makes him feel all warm inside, that’s his new team hell yes).

So 1st third he’s taking it like a champ but by the second, after he scores, the hits & chirps keep getting meaner & it’s getting to Shane. At some point he’s struggling to get up & Ilya skates by and says

“You good, Hollander, or do you need me to kiss your boo-boo?” with THAT tone and it makes Shane startle, but he chuckles and tells him to fuck off.

after that Ilya keeps chirping AT HIM, like he did back when they played against each other “no, no, don’t get up, I can score all the goals we need”, “taking nap, Hollander?”, “maybe you need to find softer sport, yes?”

“So,” Yuna said lightly, moving to sit by Shane as they both relaxed inside, eyes glued on the widow that faced outside, where David was attempting to teach Ilya to fish. “‘Lovers,’ huh?”

Of course, Shane had known that this talk was coming, but he still groaned, blushing dramatically. “Mom, I told you that word was–”

“I’m not judging, Shane. I’m just saying…almost ten years? That’s…that’s a long time.”

He let out a sigh, still watching his boyfriend through the glass. Ilya was grinning, nodding along as David modelled how to bait a hook. After a moment, though, his face turned to horror as he seemed to realize that live bait was going to be used. “It is,” he acknowledged.

“When did it change?” Yuna asked, never one to beat around the bush.

“I–recently, Mom, I–it’s complicated..Like we said, Scott Hunter–” Shane started, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for her.

“Shane, believe it or not but I do know you,” she interrupted firmly, causing him to finally glance in her direction. “And I know what I saw in my kitchen the other day. He–” she paused, frowning, as if trying to find the words. “He understands you. And that doesn’t happen from a few months of…whatever you two want to call this. It comes from years of love.”

He blinked, looking away. Outside, Ilya attempted to cast the line only for it to catch on a nearby bush, making both men laugh and Shane smile to himself even as he contemplated. “Maybe…a while? Maybe…fuck, maybe…” he swallowed, the possibility of years spent in love and hiding it making his heart ache. How long had he been denying himself the one thing he’d wanted the most? Had it been since the first time they’d hooked up? Longer? “I…wasn’t allowed to love him,” he finally answered carefully, trying to keep his tone light. “M’still not. I just…gave up. Trying to stop myself. Trying to follow the rules. We both did.”

He felt Yuna’s eyes on him, then. Her sadness, maybe. He didn’t say anything about it.

After a moment, she simply said, “Good.”

He turned quickly to her. “What?”

“Good,” she repeated, eyes steely and jaw set. “Fuck the rules, Shane. Like I said, I can see the way you two know each other, and…you’ve never been happier.”