cringe emporium

emotional about ilya and alexei again. the thing about growing up in an abusive household together is whether you want or not, you wind up defending each other. you cover for each other. you are on the same side. and sometimes you use each other as collateral, and sometimes you sic the abuser on your sibling to save yourself, and it’s always always a negotiation, you are always counting your allies, and sometimes (sometimes not, but still also sometimes) that ally is your sibling. sometimes it is you and them against whatever else. you learn to talk with your eyes, with your face, with half an eyebrow. you develop a language entirely confined to the two of you, for one explicit purpose, which is deescalation and survival. don’t go in there he’s in a bad mood. sit back down, she’s jumpy today. you live through a war together. and sometimes that brings you close and sometimes that pushes you apart but ultimately fundamentally they are the one thing nobody else on the planet is, they are your witness. they are the only one who knows what it was really truly like. they are the only other person who was there.

skip's divorce being scott's fault bc he was in the dms of a 20 something OF model and scott is like But Babe I'm experiencing a midlife crisis and scott's like in his 50s by this point and kip is late 30s. and scotts like fully off the deep end like publicly crashing out on instagram stories and he's showing up in the background of instagay reels looking extremely tan and very bloodshot. ilya opens instagram to see scott advertising male supplement pills like offbrand viagra and testosterone protein powder but the thing that truly sets ilya over the edge enough to call kip is when he sees scott DJing in fire island with an entourage of twinks with vapes behind him playing the worst edm he's ever heard

do care + did ask + sick like crazy? + oh, like cancer? + that's awful + hey + hey + holding you tenderly + kissing you with tongue + rocking you gently

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

What’s the most ridiculous place Shane accidentally leaves a hickey on Ilya, please let me know 🫶🏼

skipdivorce is fun to me bc I have no stake in scott and kip as characters. if shane and ilya got divorced I would kill myself

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.