cringe emporium

in my heart i know that cliff and ilya got so drunk they couldn’t stand straight and then went to the boston cop slide together at like 4am

this post about ilya being a nag instead of shane because of his inherently slavic superstitionism has made me think of how it’s apparently bad luck to take something home from a hospital… which also made me think of throat curtain? and how shane steals a stethoscope for Sexy Reasons™️ and mashing the two together is so funny to me because i imagine ilya going through every available emotion in his repertoire when shane brings the stethoscope home because shane this is horrible, years and years of sickness and bad luck, worse than breaking a mirror but also this boy stole something from a doctor because he wants to hear your heartbeat pounding directly into his ears as you come and ends up with the strangest erection he’s had in years

Ok they so many sweet things for their anniversary, but Shane also gets a custom made made thong, soft white cotton, simple at the front maybe a cute little bow and some ruffles on the thing waistband, but the real gift is on the back, the soft triangle of fabric above where it pulls into a barely there line of fabric for between his ass- the red stitched “Ilya’s” with a tiny heart next to it. He pulls them on after morning blow jobs and showers. Pulls on some soft loose track shorts over them. Ilya discovers them when he inevitably gets all handsy while Shane cooks them breakfast. The playing with the waistband of shanes sweats as he kisses at his necks and feels the soft cotton- fabric higher than expected and he’s like “hmm?” And pulls back just enough, head resting on the back of Shane’s neck looking down and he tugs his shorts down a bit and then he can see the top of the thong, the pretty fabric now visible higher than the waistband is the shorts over Shane’s hips that meet in a just big enough scrap above his ass to hold the word “Ilyas” before disappearing into his ass and Ilya swears goes deadly still and then Shane is being flattened out on his front on the counter, Ilya’s hands all over him, gripping smacking and pulling at his ass as he drops to his knees to get a better look

if my cock grew legs i would send it to the store to get groceries

dogshane chewing on ilyas dirty socks...

This websites like We gotta destroy capitalism We gotta end racism We gotta create Community. And then want to kill you for being loud outside.

This website is a suburb

more ilya and shane jerking each other off in the back of the team bus. more ilya maneuvering shane onto his lap with one hand over his mouth so the rest of the team can’t hear his slutty little moans. more sadistically relentless edging when they’re in public and have to keep it together

i'm curious to know what all of you were into before hollanov infected your brain 7 months ago

“What are you waiting for” there has to be a perfect moment where the door is open and my real life is on the other side waiting for me and if I wait long enough for just the right moment then maybe just maybe no one will hate me for going through that door. Maybe they’d even understand why had to do what I did to get there.

I'm about to say something that might be controversal. Troy/dallas would have been just as big of a RPF ship in universe as Shayden or hollanov. I don't even think it would depend on if they knew about the homophobia or the allegations or not. I'm not even an rpf person or a person who follows the nhl but it doesn't take more than five minutes to find recent (posted in the last week) fic about players who are known homophobes or have sexual assault allegations.

I was under the vague impression that connor was playing a serial killer on criminal minds but now I’m learning he’s apparently a soggy wet piece of boy cardboard who’s being whumped almost beyond bearing? but is also maybe evil still? consider my interest piqued……