Make It Happen

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Simple everyday bra and underwear sets in black and nude that match your skin tone: Think of items like a lined bra and seamless thong/bikini panty set. My favorites are the SKIMS Fits Everybody Push-Up Bra paired with the matching Fits Everybody Thong and the Natori Feathers bra paired with the Natori French Cut Briefs.

Sexy yet practical bra and underwear sets: Sexier options you can still wear every day and look good under your clothes. Consider an all-lace or animal print bra with coordinating all-lace or sheer underwear – love the bra options from Chantelle, Natori, Cosabella, and Simone Perele (these are pricey, so I look for them on sale) paired with Natori or Cosabella underwear. My favorite styles are the Natori Push-Up bras (I'm super flat-chested, so I need it for my clothes to fit properly, lol – otherwise the Natori Flora Contour Underwire Bra is stunning) with the Cosabella Never Say Never Comfie Thong & Natori Bliss Allure Lace Full Brief.

Ultra-sexy bra and underwear sets: Less so for clothes, more for yourself or for show. I love Fleur Du Mal for these bra/underwear lingerie sets.

Strapless bra: Natori Feather Strapless Bra. Thank me later!!

Lace bralette: Something comfortable that still feels a bit sexy. I love the options from Journelle, Cosabella, and Natori.

Satin/silk robe: To wear after the shower or around the house. Lilysilk, Victoria's Secret, Cosabella, and Fleur Du Mal have great options.

A quality pair of black tights: I love HUE and Wolford! The control top ones always feel the best for me, personally.

Sheer black thigh-highs with lace-stay-up detailing: Natori Feather range ftw yet again!

Sheer black tights with or without back seam detailing: Hue and Wolford, always!

Simple bodysuit/shapewear bodysuit: The SKIMS ones are great.

Elevated shapewear bodysuit (in a fabric like satin, lace, or vegan leather): I love the Spanx Shaping Satin Thong Bodysuit and the Commando Faux Leather bodysuit – perfect to wear with a pair of jeans and a blazer.

High-waisted sculpting underwear: SKIMS Seamless Sculpt is my favorite (runs on the smaller side!)

Satin slip dress: Can be worn at home or with a blazer/leather jacket for a night out.

Fully lace or lace trim slip dress: If wearing it alone could run someone's life, you're doing it right. Love the one from Cosabella. If you want to wear it out, try a vegan leather bralette, an opaque black brief, and lace or sheer black tights for a "naked" dress look or black pants/denim for a night-out look. Otherwise, save this one to feel sexy while relaxing at home or to wow a partner any night of the week. If you want some ultra-glamorous options, I suggest checking out Oséree but their items are $$$$ as a fair warning.

Opportunities are all around us, waiting to be recognized and seized. In conversation, in something you see, even in your own thoughts. Learning how to spot opportunities can lead you to growth and success. People often tend to overlook them, believing that they only come to certain people. The truth is that opportunities are available to everyone. We just need to change our perspective and learn how to identify them.

The Mindset:

Openness to Possibilities: Adopt a mindset that looks for possibilities in any situation. Instead of focusing solely on obstacles, view every challenge as an opportunity to innovate and grow. This shift in perspective opens the door to potential breakthroughs.

Adaptability: Being flexible and adaptable is key to spotting opportunities. Embrace change and be willing to venture outside your comfort zone. Adaptability helps you see potential where others might only see disruptions.

Positive Attitude: A positive attitude can work wonders in identifying opportunities. When you maintain optimism, you're more likely to recognize the silver lining in challenging circumstances, leading to the discovery of new pathways.

Always Learning: Embrace a curious mindset. Continuing to learn exposes you to new ideas and helps you stay ahead in a rapidly changing world, enabling you to recognize emerging opportunities before others do.

Examples of Spotting Opportunities:

The Airbnb Story: In 2008, two struggling entrepreneurs, Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia, saw a unique opportunity in the midst of a sold-out conference in their city. With hotels fully booked, they decided to rent out air mattresses in their living room, turning their apartment into an "air bed and breakfast." This marked the inception of Airbnb, which has since become a multi-billion dollar global enterprise, disrupting the hospitality industry.

From Hobby to Empire: Many successful businesses have started as hobbies. For example, Dov Charney, the founder of American Apparel, began making simple t-shirts for himself. When people showed interest in his designs, he realized the opportunity to create a clothing brand that offered stylish basics, catapulting his hobby into a thriving fashion empire.

Turning Failure into Success: Walt Disney's first animation studio went bankrupt. While many would have given up, Disney saw an opportunity to learn from his mistakes and create a new, revolutionary entertainment venture. The result? The birth of Mickey Mouse and the eventual establishment of the global Disney empire.

Networking: Opportunities often lie within our social circles. A chance encounter at a networking event led to the founding of YouTube when Steve Chen, Chad Hurley, and Jawed Karim connected with early PayPal employees who provided funding for their video-sharing platform.

You can train yourself to spot opportunities in the most unexpected places. The examples shared above show that success often comes from recognizing potential in everyday situations.

How to train your mind to spot opportunities:

1. Actively Listen: Listen to what the other person is saying. Avoid interrupting or preoccupying your mind with what you will say next. Paying full attention allows you to pick up on cues, insights, and potential areas of mutual interest.

2. Identify Pain Points: While you are listening, look for challenges or frustrations the other person may mention.These pain points could represent opportunities for you to provide a solution or offer assistance.

3. Explore people's Interests: Discover the other person's passions and interests. You might find common ground, or their interests might spark ideas for potential collaborations or projects.

4. Ask Questions: Ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more about themselves and their goals. Ask them about their aspirations and how they plan to achieve them. Seeing how people arrive from one point to another will better help you exercise your minds and use problem solving strategies as a way of looking at things moving forward.

5. Be Curious: Approach conversations with a curious and open mindset. Be receptive to new ideas and different perspectives.

6. Networking: Use conversations as an opportunity to network and build relationships. Meaningful connections often lead to new opportunities down the road, whether it's a job opportunity, collabs, or a chance to participate in new projects.

7. Body Language: Pay attention to non-verbal cues and body language. Sometimes, opportunities can be inferred from the other person's gestures, expressions, or tone of voice.

8. Problem-Solving and Offering Help: If the conversation veers towards a problem the other person is facing, think about how you might be able to help.

9. Be Proactive: Don't be afraid to share your own aspirations and ideas during the conversation. Sometimes, expressing your interests and goals can lead you to opportunities when the other person sees potential in working with you in some capacity.

🌸 Indulge in a Delightful Afternoon Tea Experience! 🌸

Join us for a truly enchanting afternoon tea that will transport you to a world of elegance and indulgence. Our full afternoon tea menu offers a delightful three-course experience that is sure to satisfy your cravings.

✨ First Course:

Indulge in a selection of delectable sandwiches, including the classic egg sandwich, mouthwatering smoked salmon and dill sandwich, refreshing cucumber sandwich, and the ever-delicious egg and cress sandwich. These perfectly crafted bites will tantalize your taste buds and leave you longing for more.

✨ Second Course:

Savor the timeless tradition of freshly baked scones served with clotted cream and jam. These warm, flaky delights are accompanied by a heavenly Battenberg cake, adding a touch of sweetness to your afternoon tea experience. And don't forget to relish our delightful fruit scone, bursting with juicy flavors.

✨ Third Course:

Treat yourself to a heavenly assortment of petit fours. Dive into the delicate and irresistible madeleines, indulge in the classic Victoria sponge with its light and airy layers, and savor the delicate and colorful macarons that will leave you in awe.

Embark on this journey of culinary bliss and make unforgettable memories with friends or loved ones. Immerse yourself in the ambiance, sip on a cup of perfectly brewed tea, and let the flavors take you on a sensational adventure.

"Confidence and joy are the keys to a great sex life" by Emily Nagoski (required watch for everyone, especially women/AFAB)

"Reclaiming Female Sexual Desire" by Pamela Joy

"Good Sex Isn't About Knowing What You're Doing" by Sarah Byrden

"Cliteracy" by Sophia Wallace

"Joy of masturbation" by Julie Gaia Poupětová 

"Shame, sex, and silence" by Dr. Faith Harper

"The Vagina Whisperer" by Tami Lynn Kent 

"Women's Sexuality Isn't 'Complicated'" by Sarah Barmak 

"The virginity fraud" by Nina Dølvik Brochmann & Ellen Støkken Dahl

"Why We All Lose When We Talk About Virginity" by Shelby Hadden

"Making sex normal" by Debby Herbenick 

Focus your wardrobe on neutral basics in high-quality fabrics (Pima cotton, silk, linen, wool, cashmere, recycled leather, denim, tweed, etc.) in tailored, well-fitting silhouettes

Dress for your body shape. Understand your proportions/torso-to leg-length ratio. Find pieces that highlight your smallest part/cover up the widest part of your body

Keep at least one body part covered. The more skin you show off, the more relaxed fit pieces you should incorporate into your outfit (Examples: If you're wearing a tank top and a mini skirt, wear a higher neck and/or relaxed top if the skirt is form-fitting and vice versa; If you're wearing a low-cut, short, and sleeveless dress, choose a more forgiving/A-line silhouette)

Choose one pop of color or print per outfit. Animal print can be a neutral if it's an accessory or in a classic silhouette while paired with another neutral piece

When showing a lot of skin, try to create a three-piece outfit (e.g. a tailored cropped top, shorts, and a loose-fitting vest)

Try monochrome outfits that play with proportions and different fabrics/textures (e.g. a silk black button-down with black leather pants/jeans/tailored black shorts)

Play with fun jackets, accessories, and different trims/embellishments on otherwise simple outfits

Don't underestimate the power of a perfect-fitting black jeans, top, and leather jacket

Choose shoes with a pointed toe or square toe (creates a sleek look that elongates your frame)

Avoid ripped clothes/hems – try a spilt or embellished hem/asymmetrical hems instead

When in doubt, use a sheer fabric piece to balance out an outline (e.g. sheer sleeves, lace pants, etc.)

Purchase seamless undergarments and ones that still look classy if your clothes slip (I like lace options and neutral satin options)

Wear shorts/skirts/dresses that cover your bum (mini can be hot, but this look is trashy tbh)

When wearing a revealing outfit, consider if your body is showing off the clothes or if your body is essentially the outfit (e.g. a cool sheer lace dress with thoughtful undergarments vs. a bra-like tank and denim shorts/mini skirt)

Use belts/tailoring as needed

Study "Wrong Shoe Theory"

Some basic sex education: Decentralized from men and heteronormative perceptions of sexual pleasure.

Important for everyone AFAB with any sexual orientation: heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, asexual, trans, non-binary, etc. Here are some ways to reclaim your sexuality from the patriarchy and heteronormative gaze.

Understand your anatomy, seriously. The clitoris is the female sex organ responsible for pleasure, not the vagina. While you may think of the bean as an isolated love button, it is actually anatomically analogous to an inverted penis and extends internally through the inside of your vaginal wall and the inner lips of your vulva. If you want to more aptly gauge your state of physical arousal, evaluate for hardness in addition to wetness (yes, it looks like a mini boner, lol).

All female (genital-induced) orgasms are clitoral orgasms. Whether they're external, internal, or both. Like its male anatomical equivalent, every clitoris has its own unique shape and size, which can be best stimulated in different ways externally and internally depending on your personal anatomy. Common pleasure zones include the external head "the clit," the "G-spot" (around 2-3 inches deep on the front of the vaginal wall), the "A-spot" (around 4-6 inches deep on the front of the vaginal wall), and anal region (stimulates clitoral legs for some AFABs).

Remember your brain is one of the most important sex organs. Sex is as (or more) mental as it is physical. According to Dr. Emily Nagoski, it is more common for AFABs to have a responsive desire style (aroused by their external environment/erotic cues that stimulate the 5 senses) versus a spontaneous desire style ("heat of the moment" sexual desire that requires minimal foreplay/build-up for pleasure and gratification).

Pima cotton long-sleeve tees (I like the Supima ones from Everlane for every day)

Contour body suits (I like the Express Bodycon Compression line and Spanx bodysuits in vegan leather/silk)

Silk button downs

Structured cotton button-down

Cashmere sweaters (crewneck, turtleneck, polo neck, etc. – Everlane, Nadaam, and Cuyana are great affordable options)

Zippered knitwear (I like options from Pixie Market, Naadam, COS, Ganni, Helmut Lang, Nanushka, and more)

Black high-waisted tailored trousers (bootcut, flared, and straight leg)

Black high-waisted jeans (straight and bootcut for me!)

Elevated stretch pants (I like the Norma Kamali Boot Pant and Spanx Perfect Pant for this)

Cashmere trouser

Cashmere hoodie

Thick, well-structured black sweatshirt

High-waisted straight-leg leather pants

Long-sleeve black sweater dress

Maxi-length black satin slip dress

Leather/quilted/tweed mini skirt

Long knit skirt (love a co-ord top for this, too)

Perfectly-tailored longline, single-breasted black blazer

Tailored hourglass blazer

Leather blazer

Classic leather moto jacket

Cropped patent leather jacket

Lightweight wool/satin duster coat

Black cotton trench/leather trench coat

Black tweed jacket with elevated hardware

Structured black wool coat

Leather puff jacket

Minimalist white sneakers

Black block-heeled, sleek square-toed/pointy-toe boots

Modern black loafers

Croc-embossed black boot

Black moto/lace-up boot or minimalist platform boot

Stiletto heel, pointy toe black boot (one short and one knee high length to dress up any outfit)

Western-inspired boot

Sleek and sexy black pumps

Structured black tote/shoulder bag

Structured crossbody bag

Small shoulder bag

Novelty/fun top handle bag (beaded, croc-embossed, crystal-embellishments, etc.)

Seamless bras/underwear

Control-top black tights (sheer and opaque)

Comfortable white and black ankle/crew socks

A cashmere, silk, or faux fur everyday scarf

Fingerless gloves

Chunky chain necklaces/bracelets

Delicate gold and silver chains (necklaces and bracelets)

Mixed-metal rings

Diamond-encrusted & cocktail rings

Ear cuffs and threader earrings

High-waisted shapewear shorts

Cashmere or silk loungewear/pajamas

A lace teddy

The Western Edition?

I think most people have difficulty understanding how to craft a practice of self-love because they believe it's just something you feel, something that pops in your head one day and follows you forever. wrong! self-love is a skill, something that can only come from constant vigilance, practice, and like any other skill, consistent action. and one of these essential actions is to avoid self-hatred. but how to do it? here's some tips.

STOP WITH THE SELF-DEPRECATING "JOKES" & SPEECH. words are more important than you think! they are the way we have to translate thought into language, and they are the primary way through which we digest our reality. if you're constantly trash-talking and dissing yourself (even if you've convinced yourself it's all in good humor or just a harmless coping mechanism) you can trust & believe you're only reinforcing negative notions about yourself. nothing good comes from constantly bad-mouthing yourself.

CARE FOR YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH. it's hard to love a body that is constantly failing you or making you feel pain. be honest and check yourself constantly. are you well-fed (both in quantity as well as in quality)? are you hydrated? have you showered? have you stretched, moved a bit? how's your breath? how's your posture? how's your hair, nails, skin? your body needs to be healthy to carry a healthy mind and soul.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. if you're always letting people walk over you, mute you, dismiss you, ignore you, soon you'll be believing that they're right in doing so. if you're constantly allowing yourself to be swallowed by embarrassing, awkward, depreciative situations, you'll soon believe that those are where you belong. the only way to avoid this is by standing up for yourself and not allowing others or avoidable circumstances to rule over you. insecurity will always turn into hatred if allowed to run wild.

BE LESS IMPULSIVE AND REACTIVE. if you give your thoughts more time to grow, if you give yourself time to reflect, if you slow down, you'll have less regrets, you'll have less frustrations, you'll have less shame, you'll have less doubts. practice the arts of replying later, of thinking long before you speak, of listening more than you talk, of letting yourself have a night's sleep before taking any choices and decisions.

CUT TIES WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT. this is an obvious one but probably the hardest, right? if you are always surrounded by people, whether they are friends, family, romantic and/or sexual partners, colleagues who make you feel inferior, you'll soon drown in their negativity and believe you deserve to be mistreated. avoiding people who hate on you is probably the hardest but one of the most necessary steps to avoiding self-hatred.