one egg is un œuf

I’m calling it now 5 years from now when it’s New Year’s Eve before the year 2020 every white person gonna wear those New Years glasses and all make the same joke “haha look I got 20/20 vision”

every time i think, i take 10 damage

and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly

If you do this get the fuck off my blog

Please understand that they gave a 33% tip, in cash instead of on a card, to increase the odds that the server could keep all of it.

What they mean by ‘taxation is theft’ is that servers are taxed on the ASSUMPTION that they will be tipped. If they don’t make those tips, they get taxed on them anyway. It is literally theft. By leaving cash and not writing it on the receipt, they’ve allowed the server the option of quietly slipping that 20 into their pocket and therefore not being taxed on it.

Thank you…i wish more people knew this

So many people reblogging this or commented without understanding what this is. Y'all wanna be outraged so badly lol just relax!

Any tips that get charged on your card are taxed, so if this guy left a $20 tip, that would get charged at least 8% on payroll tax, and depending on the night it’d be an additional 10-14% on income tax. On average if you tip $20 on your card the server gets $16 and the government gets the other 20% to bomb civilians in Yemen

its literally so fucking wild seeing people your age having kids on purpose now

The older I get the funnier this is.

via Pleated-Jeans

You can tell a lot about a person based on the songs they know by heart

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

The brain is a sadist because it forgets that nice dream right away but remembers that cringy thing you did 14 years ago.

I miss this show.

the way he claps when he says HOT DAMN is what makes it.

the best thing about this is still the fact that the “hot damn” was improvised and thats why they cut away so fast because everyone breaks

Might be my favorite joke of the series

HOT DAMN