The year is 2018. Youβre scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. βGoalsβ, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What youβve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. βGoals.β You hit reblog as youβre trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. βI canβt wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.β You sigh. βAnd buy a house, dogs, and cars. Andβ¦andβ¦β goosebumps race through your entire body. βAnd get the plague.β