Im A Ho Now

no, I will not do my stupid human tasks, I will stare at the ceiling and yearn for something I'll never feel

new aesthetic, like cottagecore but for the sea. Mediterraneancore. Blue and yellow pattern tiles. Blood oranges and lemons. a wide brim hat. balconies. decadent, warm, mysterious. angelic but the types of angels whose beauty puts u to silence

*bartender slides my drink to me from across the bar and i fucking fling it back twice as hard*

Senpai you’re looking ugly as hell is there something wrong with you?

my villagers after i get stung by wasps

please stop posting them videos of your little animal crossing villagers singing it puts me in a trance of staring blank at my phone watching them go wee wo wee wo wee wo.. wo wee for 10 minutes straight

i think jeff bezos should personally deliver every amazon package until he dies of exhaustion and then whoevers doorstep he dies on gets his fortune

You know that picture of Justin Bieber where someone is thirsting after him and a person replies “you can find three dudes who look exactly like this at any gas station” that’s how I feel whenever any of you post about Timothée Chalamet except replace gas station with 100-level philosophy course

me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off

physically im in my home but mentally im in margaritaville

*doesnt even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

Y’know, back in my day, if a pestilence swept through the land during a time of famine and flood, it meant that the reigning kings had displeased the gods and that we risked the gods’ further ire by obeying them

Then you took the king out, chopped his head off, and threw him into a bog to appease the angry gods. 

soulja boy predicted social distancing when he wrote kiss me thru the phone

“Do I really want to share this information about my personal life with this person or am I just craving validation regarding my perspective/stance on it?” is a beautiful question and I’ve been less of a chatterbox ever since I started asking it

me (an adult): yeah I’m thinking about running away