fruit is so mad because it’s so tasty and so good for you. can’t believe we’re allowed stuff like that
One Nice Bug Per Day
Today's Document

PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

blake kathryn

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Mike Driver
RMH

Janaina Medeiros

JBB: An Artblog!
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almost home

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Jules of Nature

Origami Around
DEAR READER
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@i4carcrash
fruit is so mad because it’s so tasty and so good for you. can’t believe we’re allowed stuff like that

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me: chat what do we think
the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please
*ok, but what is Jake's stragle?*
i dont care about hp at all but two things that fucked me up was someone telling me that he didn't perform one spell in the entire first film and also he was the only student with glasses in the entire series

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Why context is important
“matpat gave the pope undertale” sounds way different than “matpat met the pope while representing the YouTube gaming community and it’s customary to give the pope a gift that’s reflective of the culture your represent and he chose undertale, a game about choices, consequences and reflect and peace/love”
Yeah, “matpat met the pope while representing the YouTube gaming community” is actually even more ridiculous so I’m not sure context makes this one better
I have known multiple women who had beautiful German Shepherds who loved them, tolerated their children and bit their shitty husbands all the fucking time at the drop of a hat. The one I remember most strongly was a friend of my parents when I was about nine and utterly enthralled with her beautiful shepherd named Watson who patiently endured my obsession. Specifically, I remember the husband cautioning my mom about it and my mom responding, “oh Jesus, Steve, we all know Watson only bites you.”
I’m not a responsible enough dog trainer to have a German Shepherd but I admire this trait so much.
Watson looked to my child self like one of the wolves from Twilight (huge, fluffy, majestic) and did not like annoying children and I loved him so much and could not leave him alone and he never bit me. Steve, a serial philanderer, once allowed his shadow to cross over Watson’s face and needed seven stitches.
German shepherds are dogs who make moral choices.
I do understand that "intelligence tests" are inaccurate and stupid. That being said, does anyone want to see the IQ test question so terrible that I felt I had to stand up and leave the room?
I spent about ten minutes wondering how there could possibly be an "odd one out" that wasn't related to letters, vowels, consonants, or syllables. I tried desperately to remember any definitions or colloquial uses for these words that could make two of them synonyms or otherwise connect them.
Eventually, I selected "mitts" on the basis that it used a soft "i" sound while the others used hard "a" sounds, even though the question specifically said that wasn't the reason one word was an "odd one out."
That answer was correct. I scrolled down to see what their reasoning for why mitts was correct was...
...and had to restrain myself from putting a fist through the screen of my laptop.
Completely valid reasons to guess the word "mitts":
Mitts is the only word of the three that can't be a verb.
Mitts is the only plural listed.
Grate and blame end in the letter E, and mitts does not.
Grate and blame share a vowel sound.
Reasons to guess the word "mitts" if you're playing mental Calvinball:
Grate and blame can be "unscrambled" into Greta and Melba, which are names women can have!
this test is offensive to my daughters, Stimt and Mistt
i'm founding a new school of media criticism which i've decided to call Bitism. the Bitist school of literary analysis asks a simple question: is this work committed to the bit?
you see, any work of fiction is either committed to the bit or it's not. the worst thing a piece of media can be is ashamed of its own premise, of the genre it in habits, of the tropes and aesthetics we expect from it. to be committed to the bit does not inherently make it good, but it makes it more worthy of respect than those which are not.
also, that's not to say that a story cannot parody or criticize the genre it inhabits or mimics. we can discuss the bit, we can deconstruct the bit, we can ask ourselves whether or not it's a good bit, but to commit to it first will strengthen these discussions, not detract from them. commitment to the bit is, after all, the first step to genuine sincerity. and sincerity will exalt and elevate parody such that it can stand on its own feet.
commitment to the bit turns melodrama into camp, elevates parody to biting commentary, and allows cringe to open up into a resonant, if unpolished, expression of true emotion.
fully expect bitism to take the literary world by storm sometime in the next few years.
This is unironically what “new sincerity” was supposed to be.

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One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"
you'll never be punk yr clothes are from shein and yr makeup is from tiktok
MEAT BERRY MEAT BERRY MEAT B
They did tissue recellularization on a grape
Please watch this guy's YouTube He is a real life mad scientist be altered his genome so he won't be lactose intolerant anymore he made bioluminescent living Christmas tree ornaments he made a cold torch just to feel fire with his handd he made gecko hand pads in an attempt to climb walls this man.. He tried to make spider silk out of beer
All of that was done by ONE GUY!?
I’m sorry, did you say he cured his own lactose intolerance on a cellular level??
in the midst of what is clearly Mad Science Previously Undreamt Of, it’s kinda nice to hear somebody else classifies grapes as berries
weird how no one ever comments on the absence of smells unprompted. the nose just isn't a topic of conversation unless it's urgent huh
"it's dark in here" normal regular observation
"finally some quiet" relatable exclamation
"doesn't smell like anything in here" absolutely deranged sentence

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these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook
ugh. just found out my neighbor named all her 16 kids after mine. ok now everyone line up