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we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

All dogs go to heaven. That's why, right before I die, I'm going to graft a bunch of dogs to my body

Oh to be a little orange cat curled up safely in a dragons tail.

I still don’t get why people try to convince me that driving is less complicated than navigating a public transit system. With public transit I’m not doing most of the work.

What if instead of relaxing and just getting off the vehicle when it beeps at the right stop you got stuck in traffic and had to concentrate constantly on what you’re doing or else you kill somebody and started screaming at other people for not using their giant death machines correctly wouldn’t that be so much better

it’s so hard for me to listen to heartbroken/angry breakup songs by straight men bc no matter how good the song is i’ll be like i’m not sure if i fully believe you. let’s hear her side of the story.

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer