Hxnny

Bill

Wet hot tears ran down Bill’s cheeks despite his efforts to hold them in. His eyes were clenched his face tense as he bit his lip to keep what he could inside.

You hadn’t expected to walk in on him about to bawl his eyes out but somehow you had managed to stumble upon the rare sight when you went to check on him.

He had walked out of the room suddenly a sour expression on his face but you didn’t expect that when he walked away that you’d find him in such a vulnerable state.

Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, his glasses are pushed up onto his forehead more as he lets out a sigh.

He wasn’t going to admit that he was just crying but having you catch him wasn’t making his mood any better. After all why should anyone care anyways when he’s acting like such a ‘little bitch’?

He was on edge, poised and ready to attack you as soon as you came close but before he could shout at you to ‘leave him alone’ to swear that he was ‘fine’ no matter what you saw he was interrupted by the gentle embrace of your arms around him.

It was that gentleness that finally broke him. Before he could stop himself he let out a muffled sob, his body trembling as it forces itself from his mouth.

He wanted to cover it up to pretend that he didn’t need the comfort, but maybe this was the breaking point for him? He had spent two decades holding it all in, covering it all up in anger but now it was all coming out.

Instead of those few tears a flood was unleashed and he hated it. Between sobs and your comforting words he complained and complained.

If only you didn’t check on him. If only you weren’t being so damn nice. Why couldn’t he just hold it all back like he always did?

As his sobs died in his throat after a good few minutes he brushes you off, huffing as he averted his eyes.

Then came the threats, “You didn’t see anything!” He snapped his eyes still red as he let out a sniffle. “Tell anyone and I’ll make you regret it.”

Despite the literal threat you could hear his voice wavering, noticing that it lacked the usual bite it had. “And…thanks.”

Quickly walking off after that small thanks Bill avoids your gaze, his heart hammering in his chest from the tender moment and the looming anxiety of anyone else seeing the vulnerable moment between you two.

Josh

While Josh was normally quick to anger he still took things to heart more than he’d like to let on.

He was quick to take everything as criticism or a jab at him someway and so it only makes sense that his biggest kryptonite was the very thing that happened to push him over the edge.

With the numerous deadlines and stresses of life already weighing heavily on him the poor guy was already spread thin but that one comment was enough to finally cause all the building tension to snap.

Wet hot tears welled up in Josh’s eyes as a sniffle escaped him. Pushing up his glasses, he wipes at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt feeling smaller than he was used to.

He was supposed to be able to just drown it out. To think about the Star Trek trivia night he was going to ace, what he was going to post on his Babylon blog, all the pieces he was going to publish for work but instead here he was sitting at his desk crying his eyes out like a kid.

Feeling sorry for himself the more he thought, Josh let out a small blubbery sob. It was embarrassing that he was doing this over some stupid comment but what was even worse probably was when you walked into the room finding him crying at his desk with his WIP for work still up on his laptop in sitting in front of him.

He wanted to stammer some excuse, that there ‘was dust in his eye’ or he ‘swallowed wrong’ but all his words left him.

When he went to open his mouth all that came out was another shaky sob. He didn’t know how you’d react but he was braced for the worst.

That is, until he felt you wrap your arms around him, murmuring comforting words.

That’s when he was done feeling sorry for himself. He just cried, not having time to think about how ugly or messy he looked right now.

Instead he just focused on your comforting hand stroking his hair soothingly, your arms wrapped around him, and your gentle voice whispering the things he needed to hear to feel better.

It’s only once his sobs die down a little, leaving him a hiccuping mess that any of those thoughts seep in. He’s embarrassed as he realizes how much of a snotty mess he probably looked, his old insecurities coming to bite him in the ass.

But at he sees that gentle smile of yours he can only let out a small shaky sigh as he forces an awkward yet grateful smile back.

“Thanks…sorry you had to see me like that.” He didn’t really know why he was apologizing fully but he still did, his eyes flicking back to the work left on his laptop before they flicked back to you.

“I…should get back to work probably.” It was an excuse but as usual Josh needed a way to escape, to run away from the awkward moments.

However, before you leave he is sure to clear his throat, a rare moment of bravery surging in him as he speaks. “And thanks again. I…appreciate it.”

Pete

It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t of been at least was what Pete thought. Yet, here he was with tears dripping down his cheeks half out of frustration and half out of grief when he was reminded of his father.

Why was that what had gotten him when he had avoided it for years? Why was he being such a little bitch now?

Was it because he was sober enough to care when he found that old family picture tucked away haphazardly between tapes or was it just all of the emotions he had been holding back finally bubbling up to the surface?

Wiping at his eyes with his sleeves Pete was ready to pinch himself to try and reset his brain, to make his focus on the little pinch that would come but it was exactly at that moment with his fingers ready to sink into his skin that you walked into the room.

Shit.

Forcing an awkward laugh Pete wipes at his eyes and forces a sniffle, feigning like he hadn’t been crying as much as he could. “H-hey…I’m not cryin’. Just got somethin’ fuckin’ stuck in my eye.”

It was an obvious lie but he couldn’t care. His shoulders trembled as he held back a sob, his eyes red rimmed from the efforts of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to break the damn of his resolve.

He would rather than die than let them out but he couldn’t hold them back when he felt your arms wrap around him. That one gentle embrace, something he never had in his life was enough to force it all out, his voice coming out hoarse as he sobbed for the first time in a good while.

He didn’t remember the last time he had cried like that. Maybe when he was a young kid and was still allowed to show his vulnerabilities. It had to be around twenty years by now so it was no wonder that he couldn’t hold it back.

As much as he hated it and cursed between sobs Pete eventually came down from his emotional high with a shuddery breath.

“You weren’t s’pposed to see that. I…I don’t cry, not normally.”

Despite his excuses Pete didn’t move from his spot in your arms, letting himself take in this vulnerable moment for a few more moments at least.

It’s not until you let go that he flashes an awkward grin, his eyes still red as he lets out a loud sniffle. “Hey…thanks and all. Don’t go tellin’ no one you saw that though. I go a reputation to hold up ‘n all, yeah?”

He didn’t want anyone else to see it. He wished he could wipe it from your memory if he could but another part of him was glad. He had never been able to do that with anyone else and he would treasure this moment even if he wouldn’t ever let you know directly.

Jerry

While Jerry was the most open about his emotions he was still the type to try and hide his own hurt. Twas not only because of his past bouts dealing with toxic masculinity but also because of his own kindness and consideration for others.

Jerry always put others first so even if he was always a bit sensitive he did his best to make sure that it wasn’t an inconvenience to others.

During one of his latest DND sessions however, a certain comment lingered in the back of his mind. It was a small complaint from a disgruntled player and yet it was one that threatened his still present insecurities. Especially with the nature of the complaint.

Being criticized on his DM-ing abilities were per the course when you played with large groups of people but the way the offender had said it was what did the most damage. It was so reminiscent of the way his old friends had spoken to him frequently in the past.

That’s why even if he had the strength to laugh it off and focus on continuing the session as he normally did it still kept popping up in his mind.

Cleaning up the desk where he kept his notes for the session Jerry shuffled through a few papers, his mind still lingering on the hurtful words when a loose character sheet decided to fall from the pile.

With a sigh Jerry went to pick it up only to freeze when he saw what it was. When did one of his old friend’s character sheets get mixed in with this session?

Staring at the Sir Pete scrawled in messy chicken scratch on the character name space Jerry let out a small laugh that soon turned to a small sob.

He hadn’t intended to let it out but soon enough he had turned to a blubbering mess, only stopping to jump when he heard the door crack open.

“Oh h-hey! Sorry…I-i’m fine really.” He tries to reassure you but you know better.

Wrapping your arms around him in a soft embrace Jerry sobs into your hair, apologizing all the while between shaky breaths.

He shouldn’t put this on you. It wasn’t your problem to deal with and besides, he should be over it all by now. He hadn’t seen his friends in ten years.

Yet here he was all the same sobbing and stuttering out explanations like a little kid all the same.

It was embarrassing but he was grateful that you didn’t judge him like his old company would have. He couldn’t imagine the backlash he’d have gotten if he had let out all those feelings welling up inside of him like he was now but a part of him almost didn’t care.

Holding onto you like a lifeline Jerry let it all out, only pulling away once his sobs began to die down and turn to hiccuping and shaky breaths.

“S-sorry…I didn’t mean to cry all over you like that.” He explains wiping at his eyes and snotty nose. “I…I really appreciate you letting me do that though.”

Jerry forces a kind smile, despite his flushed skin and the residual of tears trickling down his wet cheeks. “I’m glad I can rely on you. I just hope…that you know that you can do the same with me if you ever need me to do the same.”

It was an awkward promise but a meaningful one all the same. You knew Jerry was a man worth his word and he was bound to make good on his promise should you ever wished to rely on him the same way he was able to on you.