Ramblings of the Nerd Kind

It was 6:30 PM. Everyone was prepared for the club to start right on time at 7 per usual yet they had all arrived early tonight. Not because of Bill’s incessant nagging about the importance of starting on time nor was it because they were turning over a new leaf and intending on being punctual starting with their usual meetings. No, twas a farm more alluring reason for the boys to be here situated in the basement for their aforementioned meeting 30 minutes prior to it’s start. They were promised the reveal of a surprise tape. The sounds of which from your rather cryptic explanation was something that they couldn’t miss a chance to view.

Situated in their usual places everyone settled on the couch while Josh settled for a place on the small carpet in front of it. Normally he’d take his place only more begrudgingly but even Josh seemed a bit too preoccupied with the concept of this mystery tape to voice his usual complaints. If anything the others were in a similar situation, all of them antsy and overly prepared for once. Then it happened. The sound of the front door opening and then the all too familiar creaking of weight on the first step of the stairs to the basement.

“It’s about time.” Pete groaned out, his eyes following the other’s gaze to your form descending the steps into the basement with a prideful grin.

You knew that they’d be changing their tune once they witnessed the spoils that you brought to them. After all, you didn’t just have one “mystery” tape to surprise them with but rather two tapes. Tapes that included all the illicit material that you could scrape together from B movies, Star Trek, Horror flicks, and anything else you could find that was worth putting together to a make your masterpiece.

As soon as you made your way down the stairs Bill stood from his spot on the couch, quickly jumping to his feet as if to assert his dominance over you all. “We all arrived here early so whatever you’ve got on these tapes had better be worth it.”

With a sly grin you don’t reply, instead outstretching your hands to show your prize in tow. The label that you scrawled on clearly read, ‘Sexy Damsels of Sci-fi/Horror Revealed Part 2’, the sight of which only elicits a loud groan from Josh.

Rubbing at his eyes, Josh pushes his glasses up to his forehead with the motion, looking like he had seen a ghost as the others chuckled. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re bringing that up again?”

“Awww whatsa matter Joshie? You don’t wanna watch Lidsville again before we get to the meetin’ tonight?” Pete cackles, elbowing Jerry who was currently also in a fit of giggles.

Before Josh could go a rant or decide in that moment that Pete’s life was going to be cut short, Bill spoke again cutting him off. “What’s the meaning of this? You’re telling me that you called us here just to use that stupid tape Josh got duped with to watch Lidsville!? I already own it on tape at least two fucking times and we’ve all seen it about a thousand!”

Struggling to hold back his giggles, Jerry clears his throat and nods. “Beedee-beedee-beedee, y-yeah buck. Lidsville is all fun and dandy but I doubt any of us haven’t already seen it a ton of times already.”

“Yeah,” Pete wipes his eyes looking like he was ready to tear up from his previous laughter, “besides, who wants to watch fuckin’ Lidsville? We’re too old for that shit.”

Oh but it was not just Lidsville on this tape, you explain with a devious smirk. This was the real deal. A real hodgepodge of collected snippets of the hottest actresses you could find from a smorgasbord of media all contained on this one tape (well that was as far as you were letting them know so far).

That sudden realization was enough to make them all straighten up in their seats, the atmosphere changing immediately.

“What!? The real deal!?” Josh and Jerry bellow at the same time a shocked look on their faces as they momentarily share a glance before their eyes glue themselves to the tape in your hand.

“Well why the fuck didn’t ya say so! Put it in already Bill!” Pete points to the tape player an excited expression already taking the place of his bored stare from before.

Snatching the tape from your hands Bill grumbles as he shoves the tape into the player with far too much force than was necessary. “The fuck you think I’m doing?”

He was ready to complain about who was the one supposed to give orders here but for once he bit his tongue, opting to plop back down on the couch. That was when the tape came roaring to life and the magic happened.

Unable to contain their excitement each boy looked onto the screen in adoration. Josh gripped the rug beneath him, an excited yet nervous smile on his face as he was met with the sight he had been hoping for the last time they had attempted to watch a tape like this. Jerry was staring straight at the screen, his mouth parted open as if he were holding his breathe as he realized his hopes of seeing Tasha Yar out of her Starfleet Uniform may very well come true this time. Pete was already drooling as he stared ahead, his tongue swiping over his lower lip as he focused on the screen with stare intense enough to burn a whole in the screen. He was excited to see the actresses that you had picked from the horror selection in particular, already imagining what picks he’d have included if he had made this tape. Then there was Bill. Even the calloused stubborn club leader you had come to known was unable to hide his excitement. His eyes were slightly squinted from the excited smile that overtook his face, his eyes glued to the screen almost reverently.

You had expected them to say more but as the tape played it was eerily quiet. When you glanced to take a peek at their expressions you noticed how flushed they were. What had once seemed like a group of excited men now had made way for a group of awkward blushing boys. As exciting as the tape was they were all trying to hide how badly it was effecting them, too focused on getting to see what they wanted to even acknowledge one another like they usually did when you all watched movies.

No fighting for snacks, no arguing over actors or directors names, and no complaints or compliments spoken over the entire plot. No, it was just silence. That is until the tape ended. Almost immediately as it had ended all four of the boys crowded your space.

“You gotta lend it to me!” In unison they shouted, their hands shooting out to try and grab you by the arms.

“You gotta lend it to me!” In unison they shouted, their hands shooting out to try and grab you by the arms.

Cutting you off short however, Bill jumped up almost immediately. “I have some! Josh make your fatass useful for once and help me dub these tapes!”

For once being rather amicable despite the insults directed his way Josh got up with a start. “I’ll go get my VCR! Running for the hills you watched as Josh moved faster than you ever saw.

If anything you doubt you ever saw them all work so well together. Somehow only when it came to dubbing the tapes you made was the one time besides being outright menaces to the public that you witnessed such seamless teamwork between the four. Well, I guess alls well that ends well you thought to yourself, glancing over at the digital clock in Bill’s basement. 7:05 PM. Wait, it said 7:05? Well Bill was in a good mood so maybe he wouldn’t get a hair in his ass over you all starting late because of your tapes.

Bill

Wet hot tears ran down Bill’s cheeks despite his efforts to hold them in. His eyes were clenched his face tense as he bit his lip to keep what he could inside.

You hadn’t expected to walk in on him about to bawl his eyes out but somehow you had managed to stumble upon the rare sight when you went to check on him.

He had walked out of the room suddenly a sour expression on his face but you didn’t expect that when he walked away that you’d find him in such a vulnerable state.

Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, his glasses are pushed up onto his forehead more as he lets out a sigh.

He wasn’t going to admit that he was just crying but having you catch him wasn’t making his mood any better. After all why should anyone care anyways when he’s acting like such a ‘little bitch’?

He was on edge, poised and ready to attack you as soon as you came close but before he could shout at you to ‘leave him alone’ to swear that he was ‘fine’ no matter what you saw he was interrupted by the gentle embrace of your arms around him.

It was that gentleness that finally broke him. Before he could stop himself he let out a muffled sob, his body trembling as it forces itself from his mouth.

He wanted to cover it up to pretend that he didn’t need the comfort, but maybe this was the breaking point for him? He had spent two decades holding it all in, covering it all up in anger but now it was all coming out.

Instead of those few tears a flood was unleashed and he hated it. Between sobs and your comforting words he complained and complained.

If only you didn’t check on him. If only you weren’t being so damn nice. Why couldn’t he just hold it all back like he always did?

As his sobs died in his throat after a good few minutes he brushes you off, huffing as he averted his eyes.

Then came the threats, “You didn’t see anything!” He snapped his eyes still red as he let out a sniffle. “Tell anyone and I’ll make you regret it.”

Despite the literal threat you could hear his voice wavering, noticing that it lacked the usual bite it had. “And…thanks.”

Quickly walking off after that small thanks Bill avoids your gaze, his heart hammering in his chest from the tender moment and the looming anxiety of anyone else seeing the vulnerable moment between you two.

Josh

While Josh was normally quick to anger he still took things to heart more than he’d like to let on.

He was quick to take everything as criticism or a jab at him someway and so it only makes sense that his biggest kryptonite was the very thing that happened to push him over the edge.

With the numerous deadlines and stresses of life already weighing heavily on him the poor guy was already spread thin but that one comment was enough to finally cause all the building tension to snap.

Wet hot tears welled up in Josh’s eyes as a sniffle escaped him. Pushing up his glasses, he wipes at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt feeling smaller than he was used to.

He was supposed to be able to just drown it out. To think about the Star Trek trivia night he was going to ace, what he was going to post on his Babylon blog, all the pieces he was going to publish for work but instead here he was sitting at his desk crying his eyes out like a kid.

Feeling sorry for himself the more he thought, Josh let out a small blubbery sob. It was embarrassing that he was doing this over some stupid comment but what was even worse probably was when you walked into the room finding him crying at his desk with his WIP for work still up on his laptop in sitting in front of him.

He wanted to stammer some excuse, that there ‘was dust in his eye’ or he ‘swallowed wrong’ but all his words left him.

When he went to open his mouth all that came out was another shaky sob. He didn’t know how you’d react but he was braced for the worst.

That is, until he felt you wrap your arms around him, murmuring comforting words.

That’s when he was done feeling sorry for himself. He just cried, not having time to think about how ugly or messy he looked right now.

Instead he just focused on your comforting hand stroking his hair soothingly, your arms wrapped around him, and your gentle voice whispering the things he needed to hear to feel better.

It’s only once his sobs die down a little, leaving him a hiccuping mess that any of those thoughts seep in. He’s embarrassed as he realizes how much of a snotty mess he probably looked, his old insecurities coming to bite him in the ass.

But at he sees that gentle smile of yours he can only let out a small shaky sigh as he forces an awkward yet grateful smile back.

“Thanks…sorry you had to see me like that.” He didn’t really know why he was apologizing fully but he still did, his eyes flicking back to the work left on his laptop before they flicked back to you.

“I…should get back to work probably.” It was an excuse but as usual Josh needed a way to escape, to run away from the awkward moments.

However, before you leave he is sure to clear his throat, a rare moment of bravery surging in him as he speaks. “And thanks again. I…appreciate it.”

Pete

It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t of been at least was what Pete thought. Yet, here he was with tears dripping down his cheeks half out of frustration and half out of grief when he was reminded of his father.

Why was that what had gotten him when he had avoided it for years? Why was he being such a little bitch now?

Was it because he was sober enough to care when he found that old family picture tucked away haphazardly between tapes or was it just all of the emotions he had been holding back finally bubbling up to the surface?

Wiping at his eyes with his sleeves Pete was ready to pinch himself to try and reset his brain, to make his focus on the little pinch that would come but it was exactly at that moment with his fingers ready to sink into his skin that you walked into the room.

Shit.

Forcing an awkward laugh Pete wipes at his eyes and forces a sniffle, feigning like he hadn’t been crying as much as he could. “H-hey…I’m not cryin’. Just got somethin’ fuckin’ stuck in my eye.”

It was an obvious lie but he couldn’t care. His shoulders trembled as he held back a sob, his eyes red rimmed from the efforts of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to break the damn of his resolve.

He would rather than die than let them out but he couldn’t hold them back when he felt your arms wrap around him. That one gentle embrace, something he never had in his life was enough to force it all out, his voice coming out hoarse as he sobbed for the first time in a good while.

He didn’t remember the last time he had cried like that. Maybe when he was a young kid and was still allowed to show his vulnerabilities. It had to be around twenty years by now so it was no wonder that he couldn’t hold it back.

As much as he hated it and cursed between sobs Pete eventually came down from his emotional high with a shuddery breath.

“You weren’t s’pposed to see that. I…I don’t cry, not normally.”

Despite his excuses Pete didn’t move from his spot in your arms, letting himself take in this vulnerable moment for a few more moments at least.

It’s not until you let go that he flashes an awkward grin, his eyes still red as he lets out a loud sniffle. “Hey…thanks and all. Don’t go tellin’ no one you saw that though. I go a reputation to hold up ‘n all, yeah?”

He didn’t want anyone else to see it. He wished he could wipe it from your memory if he could but another part of him was glad. He had never been able to do that with anyone else and he would treasure this moment even if he wouldn’t ever let you know directly.

Jerry

While Jerry was the most open about his emotions he was still the type to try and hide his own hurt. Twas not only because of his past bouts dealing with toxic masculinity but also because of his own kindness and consideration for others.

Jerry always put others first so even if he was always a bit sensitive he did his best to make sure that it wasn’t an inconvenience to others.

During one of his latest DND sessions however, a certain comment lingered in the back of his mind. It was a small complaint from a disgruntled player and yet it was one that threatened his still present insecurities. Especially with the nature of the complaint.

Being criticized on his DM-ing abilities were per the course when you played with large groups of people but the way the offender had said it was what did the most damage. It was so reminiscent of the way his old friends had spoken to him frequently in the past.

That’s why even if he had the strength to laugh it off and focus on continuing the session as he normally did it still kept popping up in his mind.

Cleaning up the desk where he kept his notes for the session Jerry shuffled through a few papers, his mind still lingering on the hurtful words when a loose character sheet decided to fall from the pile.

With a sigh Jerry went to pick it up only to freeze when he saw what it was. When did one of his old friend’s character sheets get mixed in with this session?

Staring at the Sir Pete scrawled in messy chicken scratch on the character name space Jerry let out a small laugh that soon turned to a small sob.

He hadn’t intended to let it out but soon enough he had turned to a blubbering mess, only stopping to jump when he heard the door crack open.

“Oh h-hey! Sorry…I-i’m fine really.” He tries to reassure you but you know better.

Wrapping your arms around him in a soft embrace Jerry sobs into your hair, apologizing all the while between shaky breaths.

He shouldn’t put this on you. It wasn’t your problem to deal with and besides, he should be over it all by now. He hadn’t seen his friends in ten years.

Yet here he was all the same sobbing and stuttering out explanations like a little kid all the same.

It was embarrassing but he was grateful that you didn’t judge him like his old company would have. He couldn’t imagine the backlash he’d have gotten if he had let out all those feelings welling up inside of him like he was now but a part of him almost didn’t care.

Holding onto you like a lifeline Jerry let it all out, only pulling away once his sobs began to die down and turn to hiccuping and shaky breaths.

“S-sorry…I didn’t mean to cry all over you like that.” He explains wiping at his eyes and snotty nose. “I…I really appreciate you letting me do that though.”

Jerry forces a kind smile, despite his flushed skin and the residual of tears trickling down his wet cheeks. “I’m glad I can rely on you. I just hope…that you know that you can do the same with me if you ever need me to do the same.”

It was an awkward promise but a meaningful one all the same. You knew Jerry was a man worth his word and he was bound to make good on his promise should you ever wished to rely on him the same way he was able to on you.

Bill

As much as he won’t admit it a part of Bill was dreading his child going to school.

He was normally the one home with them and as much as he complained about the “little brat” he was attached to them.

So much that he knew that by the time they left to school the house would feel a little emptier just like it did before his child had taken their place along side him while his partner was out of the house.

Sure maybe a normal person would just get a job or go out more but Bill wasn’t normal. He was a stubborn bastard who would “man up” and deal with the loneliness.

However, when that first day of daycare had found it’s way to him he couldn’t hide how disappointed he seemed. His usual jagged edges seemed more tired and distant as he held his child’s hand his gaze flicking from where he held onto the young child to the building that would take them from him.

As much as it hurt him it wasn’t anything he’d open up to anyone about. No instead of wallowing just yet he’d wave his kid off with that usual steeled expression he wore until they disappeared behind the doors of the daycare.

Then before he could stop himself he felt a small trickle of tears welling up in his eyes. With a scoff he takes his glasses off as he turns away from the building, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve before he returns them to their rightful spot.

A part of him was proud to see his child growing up just like any parent but that smaller part of him that he thought that he could bury ached with loneliness. He knew he’d only return to an empty house now and though it was only for a few hours, it felt like a small eternity for the solitary man.

However, as soon as that time was up you can bet that despite his usual lack of enthusiasm a part of him was buzzing with excitement. Unlike his father who wasn’t around Bill felt a sense of purpose from his child that he couldn’t deny no matter how much he tried to hide it.

As soon as they’re back home with him it seems as if the warmth to the home has returned but as happy as Bill was he knew that he’d have to grow used to this new emptiness in his schedule only making it bittersweet.

Those thoughts were for the night ahead though. For now, he was contented to listen to his young child babble to him about their day with his usual gruff stature, a ghost of a relieved smile trying to tug at the corners of his lips.

Josh

Did they have everything they could need? Rifling through the bag he had packed for his child with a frantic anxious energy Josh went over the details in his head again and again.

No matter how many times he checked he still felt nervous, maybe more so than his own child did about their first day about daycare.

It couldn’t be helped though. With work never letting up and a two person income being needed to afford caring for a child in this day and age, he didn’t have the time to care for his child himself.

While it made him a bit relieved to get a break his nerves still took possession of as thoughts of all the things that could go wrong when he wasn’t there with his child filled his head.

It can’t be helped, Josh. No matter how many times he repeated it like a mantra he still felt the nerves create a gnawing in his stomach.

Maybe that’s why he ended up eating worse than usual the whole week leading up to this morning. However, now that it came he suddenly didn’t feel very hungry at all.

With a single-mindedness that he was only capable of when he was particularly determined to get something done Josh loaded the two into the car and drove them to the daycare.

Holding their hand in one of his own larger ones and the bag he packed in the other as they approached the daycare a part of Josh was reluctant to let them go.

With a shaky breath though he steeled himself, letting his child go and handing the bag full of far more than they could need.

It isn’t until after he waves his child off that he feels a tugging in his chest. They were growing up so fast and while he was proud of seeing how far his baby was already coming along he was still relieved and a bit nervous about how it’d go.

That day work seemed almost slower than it had when he was left to deal with the frantic pace of juggling a child and the ever looming deadlines at the same time.

With a sigh Josh let his shoulders finally untense, a sigh falling from his lips as he tried to push any lingering worries about his child aside.

However, as soon as it came to the time to get his child he couldn’t hide his relief. It was for more than a work day (mostly) done. It meant no more worrying about getting any concerning phone calls. No more worries Of his kid needing him when he isn’t there. And of course no more worrying over when he’d have to leave to pick them up.

With a calmer demeanor than he had on that morning, Josh was contented to have his child back in his care listening to their babbling about their day. Maybe this whole daycare thing wasn’t as worrying as he thought it was initially.

Pete

As laid back as he always was Pete acted as if he were only looking forward to having some time to himself. It was like a small vacation and he was intent on enjoying it.

Not falling to pieces over the details like Josh or secretly dreading his child leaving his side like Bill, Pete let the day of approach without a fight.

He hated having another time limit to follow, finding the early morning drop off to be a bigger pain in the ass than any part of it but at the same time he felt good about it.

Now he could sleep in some more after work, have the house to himself. It was nice.

After the short drive, Pete hauled him and his child out of the car, carrying them most of the way. He was too impatient to walk slower a lot of times, preferring to just tot the rascal wherever they were supposed to be.

However, it was in that moment that he noticed how big his child was getting and for a moment it struck him that maybe he’d see less and less of them as they grew up and went away to daycare or school or whatever.

Maybe time was passing him faster than he’d like to admit? Not paying that lingering thought any more mind, Pete focused himself on his task on hand.

With small huff he sets the child down ruffling their hair before he turns them loose on the daycare attendants and turns to walk back to his car.

He thought that he’d only be relieved or happy but once he’s home he finds that he has far more time on his hands than he thought he would when he was scrambling for a moment to himself.

The house feels so much more empty even if he spent most of the free time sleeping. It isn’t until he goes to pick up his kid that he even notices the tenseness in his gut easing at all.

A part of him is relieved to have his little sidekick back in action alongside him as he listened to their excited babbles about how their day went.

But even as that small bout of relief floods his senses a small bit of dread eats away at his mind when he realizes how little time he’d have now with his child. With a later work schedule it would soon be Pete’s turn to leave the house, leaving behind his child and partner until his return.

He seemed a little distant, lost in his thoughts, as the realization dawned on him but rather than letting get him down he seemed almost reinvigorated as he hid it behind his usual tough act.

Now wasn’t the time for worries, and he wasn’t going to make his child deal with his emotions right now the way his own father used to. For now he’d settle for focusing on spending time with them before he had to allow his responsibilities to claim the rest of his time.

Jerry

Thanks to his job, Jerry was often free when there was no tournament he had to travel out to. Therefore, he was normally the one on “child watch” given that his partner had a more consistent work schedule.

It was something he fell into easily. Besides focusing on his hobbies or work he was a doting dad. He adored the time he had with his child and he was excited and proud to see them growing up so steadily.

That’s why when he first learned that they would soon be starting daycare he was happy. They’d be able to get out and meet so many new friends experience more than he could provide them here at home and even better, he’d have more free time again.

In fact, the day of he was almost as giddy and nervous as his own child. Today was a big moment for them and he wanted them to feel it as much as he did.

With his usual laid back attitude, Jerry toted the little tyke into the car the two of them making the short trek to the daycare rather easily.

After parking Jerry carefully set his child down, allowing their feet to plant themselves firmly on the ground before he took their hand in his own larger one.

It was only then, as they walked up to the daycare that he felt a surge of fatherly pride hit him. When he looked at his baby he was only reminded of how not long ago they were so small.

How the time passed though. Here they were starting one of their first grand adventures without him, away from the house. Something he knew that he’d have to grow to get used to.

Handing his child off to the daycare staff after pressing a small kiss to their head, Jerry turned on his heel making his way to his car with an easygoing gait.

It wasn’t until he got home that he felt the reality of it all though. No matter how much time he was relieved to gain he wasn’t very structured without his child there for him to base his time around.

Now he was left with no direction. No matter how much he did around the house, or how much time he spent on his hobbies, it felt to be a small eternity.

Jerry loved his child and even more, loved being there with them. He wasn’t codependent like Bill may be, nor was he a neurotic mess like Josh, or far too lax for his own good like Pete. He was just a loving father missing his child with every fiber of his being as he noticed all the free time he had when they weren’t the center of it.

That’s why when it came to picking them up Jerry was sure to make it a happy moment. He wanted them to feel celebrated. After all today was only the first step of a long journey for them and Jerry wanted them to never doubt that he was proud of them.

No matter how empty the house felt without them he wouldn’t make his child deal with those lonely feelings of his own. Rather, he would focus on making sure that his child would never feel that way as long as he could.

He remembered his own lonely childhood and while it made him hate the quiet of an empty house he would endure it a hundred times over if it meant that he got to spend all the time he had getting to dote on his child.

Bill

As soon as Bill’s child seemed upset when they had come home from school repeatedly he knew something was up. While he had some pretty crazy ideas floating around in that head of his he was rather perceptive.

Given that, it wasn’t difficult for Bill to have already partially figured out what was going on when the tyke finally opened up to him.

Bill may have been powerless when he was getting bullied in his youth but he wouldn’t stand for anyone doing the same to his own child, let alone the older kids.

As far as he was concerned they’d had some nerve daring to mess with what was his. No one, gets away with messing with what was dear to the Bill Dickey after all.

Normally, always the type to skimp on showing up for things like parent teacher conferences or events at the school Bill would go out of his way to try and scout for the kids in question who were harming his child.

He knew as an adult man he couldn’t make their lives hell but he could certainly give his own child some ideas of how to get back at them.

If you were to ask if he were playing the long game to get back at some teens who were ganging up on his kid then you’d be right. Hell, Bill was going to scope out everything he needed to in order to size up those other kids so that he could give his kid the perfect plan for attack.

In a rather short amount of time Bill had utilized his old ways for good. With plenty of dirt on those brats who were messing with his darling baby he now had a perfectly tailored plan for his child to enact.

And believe me, if Bill could do it himself he would in their place. However, all he could do was to trust in his child and share his psychotic ways with them.

Thankfully, the plan albeit crazy would be a rousing success with those older kids getting their just desserts. Soon enough, Bill wouldn’t have to hear anything about his kid getting messed with by that gaggle of teens.

And should anyone else dare to do the same, you can count that Bill was more than prepared to repeat the same process once again if it meant keeping his baby safe.

Josh

While Josh may be rather self absorbed at times, even he had noticed how his child had come home from school several times seeming quite shaken or upset.

However, when he pushed to learn the reason why he seemed almost more upset than the kid was. Hearing that they were being ganged up on by a group of older kids was a nightmare.

It reminded Josh of all the times he was harassed, all the times he felt powerless as a kid, and now his very own flesh and blood were in the exact same predicament.

But Josh was a grown man now. He couldn’t be there to protect his child every moment of the day. Especially not with work and other adult obligations.

All he could do in that head of his was panic. That is until he remembered something he never thought he would want to.

Once in the past, his mother’s overbearing nature had actually come through for him. When one kid had been particularly awful to him she had gone on a rampage, targeting the PTA, speaking at parent teacher conferences about the matter, even speaking to the boy’s mother.

It was, albeit one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, it had also gotten that kid in particular to stop. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and all that, so why wouldn’t it work now?

Placing his hands on his child’s trembling shoulders, Josh spoke in a voice so calm that it nearly shocked himself, “Don’t worry. We’ll fix this.”

Truth be told he was partially reassuring himself just as much as his child. He had no idea whether his plan would work but he was determined to do something. After all, we lived in the digital age now so even he could send numerous emails to the school board until they had to do something.

And do something they shall! After enough spam the school found Josh’s nagging to be such an annoyance that they had to address the problem with the kids harassing his in a formal meeting with all the parents present.

Josh couldn’t believe it worked but he was just as elated as his kid was when it seemed that the harassment finally stopped. Who knew commonly spamming fan mail and having an overbearing mother such as his own could actually come in handy where it really counts?

Not him! But who cared. Now that it was all over with Josh was finally able to relax a little again. And should anything like that happen again, he knew he could do something this time unlike when he was still a child.

Pete

While Pete wasn’t the type to push his kid to open up when they didn’t want to, he couldn’t stop himself when he noticed his kids poor mood after coming home so many days in a row.

When he found out about the situation he almost blew a gasket himself. Why the hell would some dipshit kids gang up on his own?

Forcing himself to take a deep breathe, Pete quickly gave his kid a piece of wisdom that he knew had saved his ass plenty of times when it counted.

“If anyone gives you shit, you kick their ass.”

As Pete spoke he remembered the times as a kid when he had do the very same. Sometimes he got his ass whooped, sometimes he won, but anytime he got sent to the principle’s office his dad was never on his side.

This was different though. Pete wasn’t his old man. He’d sooner die than be him and that meant that he’d be there for his kid unlike his dad was.

“If you get in trouble. I won’t be mad at you so just do it, ‘kay?”

Pete was serious about this being the solution. After all if they had to gang up on his child then they couldn’t be all that tough. Maybe if they hit one the others would flee before they wound up getting hit too?

It wasn’t until Pete got a call to come by the school that he got to hear about the effectiveness of this strategy, however.

Heading to the school to pick up his kid after hearing about the “fight” they got in Pete felt his heart pounding as the thoughts of his own father doing the same flashed in his mind for a second.

He remembered hearing his dad’s yelling, how he was a disappointment, how sometimes his dad or his brother added another injury to the mix.

As soon as he opened the door and saw his kid he internally skipped through the principle’s and parent’s boring dialogue, focusing more on the damage on his kid versus the others.

Seeing the numerous injuries on them, the scrapes, the bruises, Pete then turned to glance between the older kids noticing one with a black eye. Yeah they probably wouldn’t be messing with the tyke again.

Putting a comforting hand on his kid’s shoulder, Pete waited until the two of them got back into the car before he spoke.

“You did good.” He muttered, his voice low. “Now let’s go get some ice cream, yeah?”

Jerry

While Jerry didn’t have his parents involved as much as he’d like when he was younger, he was determined to be the opposite for his own child.

That’s why when he noticed his kid’s poor mood after they came home from school so many times he decided to try and ask about it.

He wanted to be his child’s safe place but when he heard the news that his kid was being bullied he didn’t know how he could keep them safe even when he wasn’t there.

He knew that he couldn’t be there forever to watch over his child but he still felt that it was his obligation to help his child solve the issue. After all, he had been through his own fair share of suffering in the past, because of his own peers.

Back then he felt powerless but now that he was grown he wouldn’t let his child feel that same hopelessness he once did.

Attempting to see the best in the others, Jerry advised his child that they should stand up for themselves.

Strong and firm they needed to stand their ground and set their boundaries down. Jerry thought that as long as they didn’t seem like a target it may help take the heat off of his poor kid.

However, he wasn’t leaving all the work to his child. He made sure to let the teachers know as kindly as he could and should things not improve he would talk to the parents themselves. He’d do whatever it took to protect his darling child, to save them from feeling as alone as he did as a young boy.

After waiting for the first phase of the plan and seeing no improvement Jerry decided to do go through the second stage of his plan. Speaking with the parents and staff Jerry went through everything the civil way.

Jumping through every “anti-bullying” service the school provided, having a meeting with the children and question and parents, Jerry didn’t stop until finally the bullying had ceased.

It was an arduous process but nonetheless Jerry was sure to let his child know that he would always be there for them no matter what happened.

Now, if things hadn’t stopped Jerry wasn’t against advising his child to fight back. But as of now he just hoped that things wouldn’t need to go that far should it ever happen again.

Rather than focus on the looming anxieties he felt for his child though, Jerry was far more focused on celebrating their newfound peace. “Pizza and game night tonight, kiddo?”

The next time any one messed with his child they would be more than equipped with all the problem solving skills Jerry had shown them during this time. And maybe they would end up turning some of their bullies into friends even.

Bill

As with all people, Bill warmed up rather slowly to you. You were well acquainted with his more ornery and fiery side much like the others in the club.

However, you were met with a surprising softer side of him as you two grew closer to one another.

It wasn’t something that was easy to notice at first but Bill gave you special treatment in his own way. Sure, it’d come with some insults he half meant or he acted like it was something he couldn’t be bothered to do but he still went out of his way to do more for you than the others.

Even more, Bill despite complaining about how much time you took always seemed to make time for the two of you to spend together even if the others were busy.

He was rather good at acting guarded when you two were together but even then there were still moments you could tell that you broke through his defenses.

He was weak to your compliments and praise, often blushing even if he denied it. Other times you’d be visibly see him puff up with pride from your words, with him quoting you later to exert his superiority over his friends or others.

After all, even if he acted like he didn’t care for your opinion he held yours rather highly, something that was a rarity for the ever so stubborn Bill Dickey.

Should you two wind up being more romantically involved, Bill only gets worse with how flustered gets around you.

He might act begrudging or complain about it anytime you show him affection or fluff him up but at the same time he would never stop you. He melted when it was you showing him attention, especially when it was the two of you alone.

However, should his friends or anyone else suggest that he was weak to you be ready for him to fight the claim as ferociously as he would fight anyone who even dared to speak of a single poor Star Wars take.

It’s not that he’s ashamed of you but with how Bill was so odd about his relations and his vulnerability he also couldn’t let those around him know how effective a weapon you were against him.

But don’t fret! Just kiss him on the cheek and he’ll probably get so caught off guard that he’ll forget what he was even complaining about in the first place.

Josh

Josh was more susceptible to melting when you gave him affection or happened to actually take his side when it came to him and the club disagreeing with each other over some stupid argument.

But were anyone to ask about his feelings for you he was always quick to deny it. Not out of the desire to hurt you but more out of the need to protect himself.

However, no matter how terrible he was you always seemed to understand with how soft he got for only you that he didn’t really mean it.

Were you to compliment him or defend him Josh could never hide how happy it made him. Even when he glanced away with a blush on his cheeks or tried to act prideful and fluff himself up you could tell that you had an effect on him.

He was kinder when it was the two of you alone but he was always sure to make sure that you knew that he wasn’t “going out of his way” for you.

You were aware enough to know that he was lying through his teeth but should you point it out, you’d end up stuck in an endless loop of Josh insisting he’s not.

He acted like he was bothered normally when he had to do anything for you in fact, but if you needed anything he’d still be the first to volunteer to help in his own unique way. Whether that be by pretending that he’s obligated to or not he still was there for you like you were for him.

Were you two romantically involved however, Josh would be even worse.

Any form of affection nearly incapacitates the guy but even if his friends know how you two were he’d still often act embarrassed or like he didn’t want to talk about it.

Don’t worry though. It’s not that he’s embarrassed of you. He’s just embarrassed by pretty much everything in general.

Every touch, every look, every time you complimented, kissed, or hugged him he always felt weak in the knees. And whether, he wanted to or not he couldn’t stay strong enough to complain for long whenever you wanted to spoil him a little.

Despite his words, Josh would do nearly anything for you. Even if it gets you an earful of complaints or he seems like he’s dragging his feet he’d rather it’s him doing it than anyone else.

He’d want to be dependable even if he can’t express those feelings himself. Maybe if you give him enough time to figure it all out he’ll be able to show it with his words and not just his actions.

Pete

Despite normally covering all his emotions with his anger, Pete tried to act nonchalant whenever it came to you.

He didn’t want it to seem like he cared all that much, even if that was entirely the opposite of what he felt. He was quick to deny, quick to brush off, and often acted almost cold but Pete wasn’t trying to be outright cruel.

However, being soft really wasn’t his thing and admitting his feelings was a rather large part of that. He had an extremely hard time opening up and his nerves got the best of him when it came to you.

That’s why it was easier to act like he just didn’t care one way or another. But you just had to have a way of getting under his skin even then.

It was near impossible for him to act unfazed when you took his side during fights, or complimented him. He’d try to deny it but the softer look on his face only made it more obvious.

Pete didn’t say a lot to you when he wasn’t already agitated or had something he was passionate about. It was safer for him to say less because he got too excited half the time he was with you.

More than anything he often found himself staring at you. Half of it was checking you out and half of it was genuine adoration even if he denied it anytime his friends tried to say anything about it.

And it’d only make things all the more difficult for him should you two get romantically involved with one another.

He wanted to seem cool, much more than he was. But whenever you ended up showing him an ounce of affection he couldn’t hide how much he wanted more.

He blushed even as he averted his gaze. His voice wavering as he tried to act like it wasn’t any big deal.

Even more, he was rather jealous even if he tried to deny it. He didn’t like when the attention was on others or he felt that you were ignoring him.

It was to the point that he would forgo his entire uncaring act, instead suddenly acting more affectionate than usual so that he could get your attention back onto him.

Just keep chipping away at him and maybe he could find the strength to admit the sincerity of his feelings without later trying to brush it aside like it hadn’t happened.

Jerry

Arguably the least testy of the bunch, Jerry still was rather hesitant to share his feelings with you.

He didn’t attempt to cover his emotions with anger per se, but he would often deny having any feelings for you.

When you needed someone, or wanted company, or happened to invite him to spend time with you he always acted hesitant but his jitteriness more than often gave away his true feelings.

Jerry couldn’t stay still around you. Often fidgeting or muttering his verbal tick beneath his breath over and over, “Bee-dee bee-dee, beee-dee…”

While he had a hard time being mean to you outright Jerry often acted more distant with you. As if he were guarding his feelings from you more than trying to act opposite to them fully.

He could still be more hurtful than he intended, coming across cold or uncaring when he didn’t act as stoked to spend time with you as you were with him.

But, don’t worry about Jerry lacking in care for you. Jerry was quick to defend you or help you when it really mattered.

He just typically ended up brushing it off and acting like it was out of a desire to simply help more than that it was because it was you who personally needed the assistance.

However, Jerry was a poor liar and you could tell from more than his fidgets or ticks that he wasn’t being truthful.

Anytime you were kind to him, paid him extra attention, or gave him affection Jerry was weak to it. Blushing and shaking with excitement the poor guy’s farce often was easy to see through even when he attempted to deny it.

Should you become more romantically involved with him however, be prepared for Jerry to ease up a little on the act.

He could still try to act more detached than he really was (because let’s face it Jerry’s a bit of a codependent mess) but don’t worry too much about it.

He’ll come around faster than the others, especially if the two of you are alone. And maybe if you two stick together long enough Jerry will feel secure enough to not deny his feelings when his friends tease him for them.

However, being in the present rather than the future you’d have to settle for now with Jerry being more affectionate mostly when you two were alone. His hesitance was born from his own lack of self-esteem and anxieties but over time he could overcome them, and maybe just maybe he could even faster than he already would normally with you by his side.

Bill

Normally whenever Bill was approached by a stranger he was used to it being for a nefarious or malicious reason.

Whether it be bullying, fake confessions, or really harassment of any sort he expected it all.

What he didn’t expect was for someone to truly be asking him out however, and that is what lead to his reaction being rather poor.

Despite your good intentions Bill immediately got defensive as soon as you had even asked the questions, hurling accusations your way.

However, when you denied them and pressed on he had lost steam almost as quickly as he previously lost his cool.

Why were you still here? Pushing up his glasses he glances around, waiting to spot some peers in the background ready to laugh at him or record the thing but when he sees none he can only look back at you incredulously.

Was this really happening? Was this a dream? You weren’t the usual types he saw in his dream but it wasn’t every day a nerd like him caught any positive attention whatsoever.

Still red faced and bashful, Bill clears his throat hesitantly meeting your eyes before he averted them.

Was he totally out of his element and scared shitless? Yes! Was he going to pussy out and not accept? He considered it! But more than anything his pride was on the line and when Bill Dickey’s pride is on the line he’s gotta commit.

With a small nod and a gruff, “Fine,” escaping from his lips Bill accepted despite his inner monologue urging him to make a tactical retreat.

To cover it up he continued to list out his terms for the date, “But if we go to the movies it better not be a romance movie. And don’t expect me to pay! I have a comic on hold at Joe’s!”

Regardless if he meant it or not, a part of you could tell that he was just embarrassed and relished the fact that you had gotten this nerd so worked up.

As for how the official date would go all depended on you and Bill. Until the date just know however, that Bill is preparing like he’s ready for the damn apocalypse.

It’s like you have type advantage against him and he’s going all out to prepare for the treacherous battle known as a first date. Go easy on him and maybe he’ll actually warm up a bit to you!

Josh

Large but certainly not in charge, Josh despite being similar to Bill was arguably far more skittish. He was known from retreating from any uncomfortable or awkward moments and doing so rather quickly.

Like his friends, he was used to only getting negative attention from his peers and usually thought the worst of people and their intentions before he got to know them better. And this was no exception when you had approached him.

Anyone sparing him the time of day got him ready to be defensive. Whether it was his friends, strangers, or his very own mother Josh was prepared to be on the attack.

After all, everyone he encountered typically picked on him, nagged him, or harassed him and not just from his perspective. The only reason Josh had become so guarded to the point that he could act like he was always the victim had to come from somewhere besides his dear old mom.

And that it had! After all the bullying, teasing, fake confessions, pranks, you name it Josh was prepared to get laughed at if he seemed hopeful or even nervous from your confession.

He thought of running, but his feet seemed to root themselves to the spot, his brown eyes darting nervously behind his glasses as sweat dripped down his forehead.

Making sure that there weren’t any peers watching or recording Josh took a minute to give his reply, looking like he was prepared for sudden death to be a possibility as he spoke.

“Are you serious? Because if you’re just joking it’s not funny.”

He had started out with accusations, ones that were born from his own paranoia and low self-esteem. However, when he heard your serious reply and saw that you weren’t deterred any bite he had died down.

Josh wasn’t able to cover it up with anger no matter how much he tried. He was nervous and you were getting to him whether he liked it or not.

Positive attention was something he always felt he deserved but this? Would someone really ask him of all people out? Like that?

Deciding it was do or die, he gulped down a breath and nodded in reply finally, his face bright red. “I guess it’s not like I have anything better to do anyways.”

Talking like it was mere obligation or possibly a drag, Josh glances away from you before he continues to make plans with you.

It may have seemed like he didn’t care but you could tell from the way he was making sure of all the details and the way his eyes seemed so hopeful that a part of him desperately wanted things to work even if he were wary.

Knowing him, he’s expecting you’d stand him up but just go slow with him and he may learn that you’re the one person who doesn’t judge him like he feels the rest of the world does.

Pete

While Pete wasn’t all that different from his friends, he couldn’t help but still feel a bit of excitement when you approached him.

It wasn’t common for anyone to start off by giving him some positive attention. Normally whether it was his family, friends, or peers in general there was strife of some sort and Pete was always guarded, ready to attack should he need to.

As usual he didn’t know what to expect when you asked him out. I mean, he was used to being fake confessed to, being harassed, teased, even hit but this was different.

You seemed genuine and it made Pete freeze up on the spot, his fists still clenched at his sides as if he were readying himself to fight his way out if he needed.

It was a good long moment before Pete replied. He had to deliberate his options here. Sure he was being asked out but what were the chances someone put you up to it? Maybe it was a prank or some cruel joke even?

But whether Pete wanted to admit it or not, he was more sensitive than he let others know. His dark eyes instinctively scanning for any peers watching or recording before they flicked back to meet your own from under the brim of his hat.

He had to play it cool. Maybe you were joking but as long as he played it like he wasn’t overly excited it could work in his favor.

If he acted cool and it turned out to just be a joke means that he doesn’t give you the kind of reaction you’d want. And on the other hand, if you weren’t and he played it cool maybe you’d think he’s even more charming than he was.

Avoiding you gaze he shrugs off your confession giving you a simple, “Eh sure, I guess we could go out’n stuff.”

He was avoiding getting into all the details until you progressed. His excitement only seeming to grow once it seemed that he was sure this wasn’t some sick prank.

As you two made your plans, Pete buzzed with excitement bouncing on his heels as you two confirmed things.

As much as he was ready to chew you out when he first saw you approaching Pete was relieved that he didn’t. Now it was just excitement and anxiety causing the beating of his heart to keep thrumming in his chest, something far more pleasant than the type of adrenaline that came from when he had to defend himself.

Just don’t let him get too excited once you two go out. Pete is the type to fly by the seat of his pants once he gets excited so you may have to ground him a bit if you can’t go with his chaos once it’s the two of you alone.

Jerry

A nervous wreck through and through, Jerry was always prepared for the worst. Not because of only his low self-esteem but also because of his anxiety addled brain.

When you approached him the poor guy nearly jumped out of his skin. He always tried to avoid being seen, not wanting to stand out and catch the wrong kind of attention as he sadly usually did.

Like his friends Jerry was used to the harassment, the fake confessions, cruel pranks, and even physical altercations.

However, Jerry had more of a reprieve albeit a lonely one at home. Now with his bubble of solitude popped by his small trek outside and your confession lingering in the air between the two of you Jerry wasn’t sure what he should do.

He was petrified, his mind racing. He was defensive like the others, sure, but also easily overwhelmed.

He didn’t think to check for others watching, nor to hurl accusations your way of what your intentions really were.

No, instead a question came from him in a small trembling voice, his body shaking as his eyes flicked from your face to his shoes.

“Bee-dee Bee-dee Bee-dee are you serious, Buck?”

Nervous tick and all, Jerry couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice as he spoke. And just as you confirmed his worst fears and greatest hopes he couldn’t hide the surprise nor elation he felt that this was real, that someone was truly asking a hopeless nerd like him out.

Had he finally rolled a critical for a real life charisma check? Maybe. Maybe you had been the one to land a critical on him.

Regardless of the details, your advances were super effective on Jerry earning a small wary smile as the two of you planned out the minute details of your date.

He mostly let you lead as of now, moreso aiming to follow your lead and try to do what he thought would make you happy even when it came to the mere planning of the date. However, maybe should you provide him the encouragement he needs you’ll be able to see him come out of his shell more and become more assertive when it comes to telling you and others what he truly wants.

Regardless, that was for the future to sort out. Right now, Jerry was a stammering blushing mess and likely would be at the mere thought of his upcoming date.

He would likely still be just as nervous and jittery then but maybe you can accept him as he is.

Aaron

Rarely being liked by others meant that Aaron prized you above all others. Sure he still had his “artist” persona but he was able to let it down a little more around you.

The more he opened up the more he was able to express his true self, often leading to a large part of spending time with Aaron listening to music, reading comics (gasp), and even sometimes listening to his innate ramblings

Truthfully, it was the only real relationship that goes smoothly for him in life even if especially at the beginning he masks a lot of his more “embarrassing” interests/traits behind his uppity hipster art snob character he played for the Northwest Comix Collective

I can only imagine that any relationship that Aaron develops after the clubs untimely demise ends up being centerfold in his life to the point that you have to encourage him sometimes not to either just go along with what you want or to not have the two of you always parrot his own opinions if you’re more passive than him

He’s anxious always that you’ll leave him like so many others have in his life or even worse, reject him for who he truly was so he needs a lot more reassurance than he’d like to admit.

However, he does truly fall deeply in love even if he’s scared to open up and can often mask his vulnerability and anxieties with anger.

If you did any art yourself, he’d probably try to jump in and lend his “creative expertise,” taking a genuine passion in all you do once he learns that you accepted him as is.

He’s rather clingy and needy because of his lack of good socialization growing up and probably is quite touch starved at times too.

In fact, should he be worked up over talking about his ex-club I’m certain that just holding him and reassuring him would get him to melt and forget all about his troubles (assuming he is not intoxicated of course).

Speaking of his habits with alcohol and other substances he would probably be rather supportive if you did and would end up smoking, drinking, or whatever else you do together when you two meet up.

Overall, he’s really just a clingy needy anxious mess who wants to do everything with you even if he can’t express it. He’s rather jealous and paranoid that you’ll leave him but until you break his walls he tries to always hide how he’s really feeling.

Just allow him time. With Aaron being Bill’s opposite he is truly capable of changing for the better a lot faster as his innate stubbornness is sometimes truly nothing but a farce.

Jaybird

While Jaybird is able to survive most of his (few) good relations with his habit of bulldozing others with his abrasive attitude it can cause more troubles when it comes to a more intimate relationship

Jay is quick to anger and often ends up imposing his will onto you which can cause the more common spat or sometimes the need for you to remind him that your own “individuality” is just as important as his own

However, even if he has his moments where his anger flares or he starts fights he is equally passionate about you

Being the “artist” that he is, you are his muse. You’re often used as a source of inspiration for his projects during the course of your relationship whether you know it or not.

And knowing Jaybird, you most likely would hear about all his projects whether or not you asked. Sure he could be crude and perverted and sometimes you honestly couldn’t get his vision but it seemed like he often was just glad to be able to prattle on and show off his current WIP.

In fact, maybe if he had you to support and encourage him rather than yell or criticism his lack of work ethic it could improve making it possible for him to finally finish one of said projects.

I imagine that he likes being the center when he can and therefore falls weak to when you pamper him. It’s unlike anything he’s experienced and may just even help to soften some of his sharp edges.

Of course, he’s still a “rebel” and a pervert but he is capable of improving himself just as the others in this club can more easily compared to their Eltingville counterparts.

Speaking of, his perverse nature. Like Pete is, he’s rather touchy and probably often is rather affectionate with you.

He has no shame (even if he gets nervous sometimes) and as long as he learns that he won’t be rejected I think he lays it on thick and enjoys the same.

He doesn’t need reassurance the same way Aaron does per say, but he still has his own bouts of insecurities and would probably worry if you didn’t enjoy being just as physically affectionate with him as he enjoyed with you.

Now, on the off chance he is worried I do see him a little more prone than Aaron to turn to substances or possibly focusing on his art solely to the point he forgets to take care of himself.

At least if you enjoyed either he would be more likely to do in a healthier manner. He often gets carried away so having someone to ground him even if you both end up drinking or smoking together helps him stay more tethered.

Overall, just be sure to be understanding and show him that he can be more vulnerable with you even if he may be “off-putting” or abrasive and he’ll be sure to be a passionate and affectionate partner in return.

He may experience strong jealousy and be prone to anger but he can unlearn it just as he can learn to grow with you.

Rodney

Being the more sensitive and “romantic” of the bunch love wasn’t something that Rodney really assumed was out of the question for him.

Sure, he never could talk to girls really or keep friends but he was a “sensitive guy” for better or worse which was helpful in a relationship.

That may come with him being mostly sensitive about his own feelings more than feeling for others but were you to be in a relationship for him I’m certain that he would end up caring about you and your plights as if you were an extension of himself.

Given that, he still has his times I’m sure where he acts like his feelings about yours are more important. Like how he is sad because of something happening to you, or happy because you succeeded somewhere else but it’s not intentional.

He’s just more self-centered than he really cares to admit which is why his empathy can seem to come and go with the wind.

He’s laid back to a fault and often wants to focus on the “vibes” of things more than anything that requires more effort on his part.

Given this, you could be a good influence on him bringing out his sensitive side in a more empathetic and kind way than he usually shows it.

After all, being accepted fully by you, I’m sure that he would lose some of his stubbornness and learn gradually to allow you to feel your own emotions without feeling them for you or caring more about how yours affect him.

Hence, he always is sure to share his latest projects with you and to help you with any “artistic endeavors” you may pursue yourself. A lot of times he wants to even be collaborators, getting as excited as you do about the projects you two could come up.

He is rather affectionate and passionate, being a perfect mix of distant and close. He isn’t overbearing and needy but he isn’t more detached either.

There are times he’ll surprise you with your favorite food or draw something corny for you next to a note he scribbled out. And he’d go through hell and back for you even if other times he’s flaky.

He just needs to work things out and grow up a bit. Unlearn how he’s still rather spoiled and self-centered more like a child and figure out that giving makes him feel just as good as receiving.

Which I think is more than possible in a relationship for him. He might need reassurance at times but he’s just as good as providing as he grows more accustomed to caring for you just as much as he does himself.

Of course, he still does substances and drinks and most likely would with you should you join him. And he’ll still always be more lax than he ought to but as soon as he learns to do so at the proper times he’s actually rather capable of growing into a caring and kind partner.

James

While no one had expected it you had somehow managed to tame the James Prolongo. He would hate it being described as such but given all the work you had to put in to break down his walls bit by bit I would say it is an apt description if any.

While James may have not succeeded in his previous interactions with girls or peers his age he had always been the type to assume that it was a problem with them rather than him. Besides, being a lone-wolf type fit his “scorned artist” role he gave himself.

In fact, when you took an interest in him initially he presumed it was only right that someone eventually saw his genius for what it was.

However, he had to learn rather quickly that you wouldn’t always be passive and fluff his feathers whenever he wanted you too.

Sometimes there were disagreements and many a time there were fights between you two that he picked when he felt that he wasn’t getting what he deserved. However, you had wormed your way into his heart slowly but surely and even James found himself regretting when he hurt you.

He was terrible at making things up or communicating but you learned his signs slowly but surely just as he came to know yours.

He might not outright apologize but he’d go through hell for you even if he complained about it being an inconvenience the whole time. He isn’t overtly affectionate aside from physically but he also shows more of his weak points to you than anyone else and allows you to do the same with him without exploiting them (at least not normally for nefarious reasons).

Sure he’s quick to anger and may feel uncaring at times when he’s more focused on his newest “artistic endeavor” but he isn’t clueless.

While he might wish that relationships were easier he’s self assured in his own abilities and is willing to put the work in out of mostly stubbornness and his own growing fondness towards you.

He could be a bad influence too, often being the source of illicit substances you two shared or the instigator with any trouble you two got in but at the same time he treated you special compared to everyone else.

Even with his sharpest edges he’d dull them a little so that even if he still hurt you it was at least nothing like what he’d do to someone else.

Just give him more time to come to appreciate the ways you encourage and even help him with his latest “artistic” visions and he’ll grow to get better at it over time.

He doesn’t really need much reassurance and he isn’t great at giving it but in his own right he can grow to be a passionate and affectionate lover who may still be rough around the edges but would go through the damn apocalypse to keep you with him.

Bill

To be completely frank, Bill wasn’t the most understanding person. Whether intentionally or not he often reacted to your constant symptoms poorly before he was able to learn more about your chronic illness.

He had assumed much of it was excuses or ways to avoid doing certain activities he specifically wanted to go and set out to do so as soon as the realization hit him that you had a serious medical condition he changed his tune a bit.

I mean even Bill isn’t a total dick. He’d feel bad in his own way and probably in a strange roundabout manner try to make it up to you, even if it was just letting you pick what movie you two watched or letting you mooch off of his food.

After all, once Bill learns about your condition he actually ends up worrying about you quite a bit and with his observant nature it only takes him a glance to notice when you’re not feeling well or struggling as he spends more time with you.

He isn’t a spectacular nurse but he cares enough to still help you with anything you need when you’re feeling unwell, even without grumbles from him once in a while

He’s rather paranoid about the people in his life leaving and he’s determined to make sure that not even an illness can get the upper hand against him

After all, you had gotten through to him so if anyone has earned Bill Dickey’s favor they must stick around one way or another

And while it may sound horrifically manipulative were he to explain it as such he truly does care for you

That’s why even if it was said with a lot of “disinterest” he would go out of his way to check on you and make sure that you always had someone to lean on so that even your chronic illness couldn’t take away from the two of you possibly spending time together

It didn’t matter if he had to make the most hair-brained inventive solution because as crazy as he is Bill was the person who’d make a solution or at least temporary “fix” at any damn cost.

Josh

Like Bill Josh may mostly care about how your illness effects him until he learns that it’s a chronic problem.

In his own right, he’s a chronic complainer. Often mistaking your signs of sickness or suffering from symptoms that just won’t leave as if they are a slight against him or some strange perceived form of rejection.

However, once he learns of your condition prepare for a huge shift. Sure before he’d still point out that you might not look so hot but as soon as he knew of your diagnosis the worrywart side of him came out.

He could exasperate things with how worked he got but knowing that someone close to him was suffering all the time made him get a bit neurotic (probably his mom’s influence)

Even if he wasn’t the best nurse from getting worked up about your illness more than you often did it was sort of nice being doted on for a change. That is until it could become overbearing.

He needs a lot of reassurance that you don’t need to go crazy with care for you or checking in on you even with your condition. If anything he probably assumed the worst case scenario when he heard chronic and barely took in anything else you told him.

Once Josh got onto a thought he was known to get carried away, coming up with all kinds of crazy worst case scenarios and problems to solve for you that you most likely didn’t even need

However, if you do need anything his times being doted on with his own mother likely come in handy as he and Jerry are the only ones in the group who probably truly know what to do when someone is ill or feeling unwell

He’s again not really the most comforting when he gets stressed over you but he tries and as terrible or clumsy as his attempts can be they were equal parts endearing

He may struggle to find workarounds as quickly as someone like Bill would for helping you two carry out even plans where you have to work around your symptoms but Josh would do his damned best for you.

After all, it’s rare that he has anyone who doesn’t tear him apart like his peers or even his “friends” so he ought to show his appreciate to you even if his attempts may vary in quality at times.

Pete

While I do adore the nerd, Pete is probably a bit infuriating when it comes to having to remind him of your illness.

He constantly forget and sometimes gets mad when you can’t do the things he wants to, only stopping once you remind him yet again, that you have a chronic illness.

He’s probably the one who asks a lot of misguided questions about even being chronically ill like, “It’ll get better eventually though right?” or, “Maybe you just need to see another doctor. Have you seen other doctors?”

Yeah, it’s annoying and it can seem like he’s calloused or being a dick on purpose but he just genuinely can’t imagine the magnitude of something like a chronic illness fully on his own.

Sadly, it probably takes a bit of a longer time for him to fully grasp the severity with him being the opposite of Josh, often caring too little or forgetting entirely until it finally clicks for him.

Knowing that you got problems, Pete can’t help but feel a bit bad in his own way. Sure he’s not exactly the most “comforting” nor kind person but he can still go out of his way to help where he can.

He’s used to being forced to help out at home with something or another so while his nursing skills are lacking he was good company at least.

He always tried to cheer you up even if it was by saying the stupidest shit you heard and was always able to stronghold the other guys into moving things around for you if you needed it.

He wasn’t so great at figuring out ways to work around your symptoms as the others may be but Pete was creative if nothing else and would do whatever he had to to get things to work. Hell, he may not be strong but even if he had to carry you or some other crazy shit he’d think of on the fly he’d gladly try (even if he sometimes failed).

And when plans didn’t work out sure he’d be irritable and he could say things he’d regret but he’d never blame you for any of it. If anything, a part of him was just grateful that even with how shitty your condition could make you feel that you didn’t mind spending time with an ass like him.

He may never see it but you could feel it in the bits of care that he showed you where his hidden softer sides dared to show themselves to you.

Jerry

Jerry noticed you often seeming unwell or uncomfortable and would frequently check in on you but when he learned about your illness he initially panicked like Josh would.

The word “chronic” just sent alarm bells ringing in his head, like when you were spotted in a stealth game. Chronic meant bad right?

His mind had filled with so many scenarios and what-ifs that it almost made you feel bad for telling him when you saw how green around the gills he looked.

Thankfully, as you explained it more he seemed a lot less likely to think you’d suddenly keel over any minute and instead seemed to feel bad, looking at you with upturned eyebrows.

Jerry constantly would worry over you, wanting to do what he could even if he wasn’t the best nurse there was. He was still better arguably than Bill or Pete but he didn’t feel it was all that much.

No, he just wished that he could make it stop and truly help you but he knew he couldn’t and could at most relinquish himself to helping you to the best of his abilities when the symptoms were unmanageable alone and being a source of support for you.

He was happy to bring you distractions even if you just let him prattle on about Magic. His parents were rarely home anyways and it helped distract him from his own loneliness.

Sure, it could come across as selfish but being needed in any capacity made Jerry feel better so he enjoyed doing anything he could for you. After all, he already loved spending time with you so an excuse to do it more wasn’t any problem.

Sure, even Jerry could act bratty and get upset when plans had to change but no matter how he might act out he’d always apologize or make up for it unlike the others often did.

Plans can change but people can’t just be rescheduled. He knew that and with his own bouts of rejection and being walked over even amongst his “friends” Jerry didn’t want to treat you badly.

He still has great deal of growing up to go through but he’s still a valuable ally to be tend to you as you saw fit.

He needed direction and he was often too anxious to come up with solutions or ways to assist himself but nonetheless, he was determined to help you in any way he possibly could.

Bill

While Bill reveled in conflict to the point that he normally (along with the others in the club) bulldozed timid types like Jerry he wasn’t as harsh towards you.

Upon your first meeting, he certainly was but when you hadn’t screamed right back in his face like most would he almost felt bad for you.

Of course, it wasn’t anything Bill was willing to reflect on, but it didn’t feel like it did with Jerry. He didn’t want to steamroll you or get in your face if you weren’t going to do the same like even Jerry could when push came to shove.

Instead, he opted to calm down a little or, as much as Bill Dickey could.

Believe me he’d still jump you for getting Marvel lore wrong but he wouldn’t be as aggressive with you overall.

In fact, part of him may begin to enjoy your timid nature when you allow him to always take charge.

In his eyes, you don’t question his “rightful” place as the leader and often leave things up to him. Making him quite literally feel large and in charge.

Even better, if anyone else tried to take advantage of your timidness Bill was on them immediately. Not out of any obligation to protect you because you're more the quiet meek type, but more so because you gave him that feeling of control that he needed.

That and, he wasn’t willing to share you just as he really isn’t willing to share his friends. Of course, it’s Bill so he may not think that hard on the reasons as to why but just know that he would care for you in his own unique ways.

They’re hard to read but maybe just maybe you two have some softer moments thanks to how passive and nonjudgmental you are towards Bill. So long as he could trust you wouldn’t snitch you would be privy to seeing a glimpse past his walls.

Josh

Already being rather cagey, Josh often misinterpreted your timidness, taking it as a bad sign, especially when you two first met.

Being used to the teasing from the club, bullying at school, and the earfuls from his mother at home Josh took almost any interaction as some form of judgment from you assuming that your quiet meek personality was something you only did around him.

Maybe you just didn’t want to talk to him or hell, maybe you just plain hated him. Either way the first times you two interacted he let his mind auto-fill the gaps in his mind immediately going to the worst case scenarios.

He’d never let you know but it was a relief when he saw that you’re always that way and that it wasn’t anything about him in particular that made you act so shy around him.

It still made him rather anxious to be the one to initiate most things with you but as he’d begin to grow more accustomed to your presence besides him it slowly becomes something more comforting to him.

Unlike the others in his life you’re not easy to provoke nor likely to attack him even when he goes a bit too far with his passions and anger alike.

It allows him to actually feel more accepted even if it takes a rather long time for him to get to that point. And even better in his eyes, it give him an edge to not always have someone against him.

If the club wasn’t willing to do something with him you almost always were more open to it with your more passive nature, allowing him to not have to trek out on his lonesome when he wanted to break off from what the guys were doing.

He may be poor at expressing it at times but Josh would be rather grateful for all the grace you give him even if some may be more your nature over an intentional effort to excuse his faults.

However, he knows that he can be a lot at times and is thankful that you never seem to mind even when he gets hung up on the little details. It’s more than many have given him so should anyone else even try to take advantage of it you know that he’d be first in line to defend you in whatever way he could.

Pete

While the others may have been put off by your timid nature at first, Pete found it somewhat interesting.

You’d jump so easily at times that he almost thought you were scared of him. When he saw that you were like that with everyone though his feelings had became the very curiosity that inspired him to interact with you.

After all, others normally treated him differently. Like some black sheep but here you were treating him like you did with anyone else.

Was it just that you were meek? Or were you really not judging him?

Regardless of the answer Pete was quick to always attempt to poke at you, proud if he could get a reaction out of your usually timid composure.

He thought that his antics would be enough to drive you away but when you never did he came to find that he enjoyed your nature more than he let on.

Sure you were passive and he felt that you would get totally pushed around by others, but at the same time you let him lead when it was the two of you together, something that no one else did.

Maybe it was just your passive nature but it made him feel like he was in charge in ways he never was with his home life of the club.

He may never voice it but it was something familiar and safe for him, the way that you didn’t allow his anger to push you away while not getting right back in his face when he had his moments. The way you allowed him to go on crazy impassioned rambles without an ounce of discernible judgment in your expression.

He couldn’t muster the courage to ask if you really cared or if you were just going along with it but he’d more than gladly take advantage of it as long as you’d let him.

And boy would he not be willing to let anyone else do the same. Pete would defend you tooth and nail all while trying to act nonchalant about it later brushing it off as him wanting to “monopolize your time” rather than genuinely coming to care for you.

Jerry

Already timid and anxious himself, Jerry is at a loss as to how to interact with you at first.

He normally waits for someone else to act first before he interacts or maybe more aptly put “reacts” to them.

He was used to being pushed around by his fellow club mates and the bullying at school so this was a whole new challenge for the poor boy.

Like his compatriots he’d assume at first that maybe you were avoiding him intentionally like so many did. After all, they did all have a notorious reputation thanks to their usual bout of antics in town. What’s one more person to add to that?

However, when he noticed more and more that you were like that with everyone, he decided to take his chances and extend an olive branch the first time you two finally spoke to one another.

While it was rather awkward and required much growing pains on both of your ends, it soon bloomed into one of the most fulfilling relationships Jerry would come to have.

You weren’t going to attack him or speak over him like the others. If anything you both were each others sanctuary of sorts, the two of you allowing the other to actually speak their mind and willingly lending an ear to one another.

It may have seemed small or inconsequential to others but to Jerry it was huge. It was less judgment than he received even from his supposed “friends’ in the club.

And you never seemed annoyed by his impassioned rambles or vents about his club’s most recent breakup. You allowed him to share his newest Magic card acquisition and were even willing to play the games he adored with him.

It may have just been that you were rather passive but all the same Jerry was more than grateful for it all the same.

All his life he had just wanted someone to share his passions with and with his friends often opting to scream over him about their own he often felt that he was lacking someone who he could truly do so with.

But thanks to you he could. He might not enjoy being in charge or feeling like things rest on his shoulders but he’d grow into the role as you two became close, even enjoying it a little more than he thought.

He never wanted to make you do anything you didn’t want to but at the same time being in charge was a nice change of pace.

Jerry wasn’t going to boss you around but he would propose ideas for what you two could get up to and would do his best to defend you should anyone mistreat you for your timid nature. He may be a bit cowardly but with how much you’d come to mean to him he’d do the best he could for you.

While both are rather nonconfrontational when it comes down to it, Josh still had a bit more of a backbone than Jerry usually. Well that is if it came down to arguing with Bill over semantics or sniffing out a normie in their midst.

When it came to relationships despite being a nervous wreck, Jerry was more willing to take a plunge. The only thing is with his developing feelings for Josh he had no clue whether he should bother with an attempt or not.

On one hand, Josh has seemed like he’s been a bit more than just interested in Super Boy sure, but on the other, he could end up being appalled and making fun of Jerry for being gay.

And if that were to happen, he didn’t know if he’d ever recover.

Good thing Josh was in a similar boat. He had been ruminating, attempting to ignore his feelings for the blonde.

If anyone in the club found out he’d never hear the end of it. Great! Just another to add onto the constant fat jokes and all the other ragging the guys do.

Josh just wanted to run from it all. To kill his feelings off and be done with it. But as much as Jerry tried to do the same he just couldn’t.

Jerry did his best to hide his feelings, keeping quiet as ever. But then one day when the other guys were busy and it was just the two of them it just sort of ended up coming out all at once.

He didn’t know if he were ashamed or scared or excited somehow or maybe all of the above as the stammery words escaped his quivering lips. His voice almost cracking as tears threatened to prick at his eyes.

He was prepared for rejection. He knew he was being an idiot. He just hoped Josh would rip the bandage off and get it over with.

Instead though, he just got complaints from Josh about how he just had to “ruin” everything for him. And rather than a rejection he was embraced.

Of course, it was stiff and awkward but as soon as Josh continued to babble on about his own feelings and insecurities Jerry could only feel relieved even if Josh had a rather strange way of sharing his feelings.

Jerry didn’t mind all that much though. He knew how Josh was and he was just happy that it all fell into place one way or another.

As much as Jerry wanted to be out in the open, he and Josh were both hesitant and decided at first to hide the relationship from their club. Instead, opting to spend more one on one time when the club wasn’t meeting.

Once they were together though things felt right at home even if the two were both a nervous wreck when it came to their developing relationship.

Josh almost always avoided PDA at first, finding himself always startled when Jerry ended up being the braver of the two often attempting to initiate things like hand holding or cuddling when they watched Star Trek or Lord of the Rings together.

Their dates often were going to the movies, the book store, or out to eat when they didn’t stay in at one of their places.

Josh could lose his cool still with Jerry around but as their relationship grew stronger he became a lot easier to placate. Jerry soon learned all the ways to soothe him and get him back into a better mood instantly.

The two just fit together well. Jerry was more of a listener and Josh always had complaints or grievances to get off of his chest.

Jerry mainly showed his affections through acts of service and being an active listener. While Josh on the other hand opted more for awkward bouts of physical affection and rare showing rare moments of vulnerability to Jerry.

However, neither felt like they were taken advantage of. Even if Jerry sometimes was the one doing the heavy lifting with the relationship when they were younger.

As they’d mature, Josh would come around to being more of a provider as well. Especially with Jerry who was a positive influence on him unlike the rest of the club.

He’d always be awkward and struggle a little more than Jerry to convey himself but Jerry knew how to read him and easily could translate even the moments that he may seem cold to someone who didn’t know him better.

Bill

So long as you’re masc presenting Bill has a panic about the whole thing in his usual explosive way.

He’s a defensive lunatic as Dorkin so lovingly dubbed him, which means that he ignores his feelings as long as he humanly can

It’s not very effective given how obvious he is. He still tries to monopolize your time and control you in his usual fashion but if anyone were to even throw the assumption his way he’d be quick to deny it. Maybe even vehemently.

However, were you to not reciprocate or go with someone else his attitude would likely only be worse as he’d probably find some way to ruin things either between you and the “interloper” or the two of you

He’s possessive and domineering in the ways that a toddler is. He can’t stand not having your attention, and he values your opinion more than anyone elses (this especially being the perk of being male presenting at all with this guy).

However, as much as he accepts you he’d definitely still act fairly awkward and a bit dense when he learns about your physical differences.

To put it fairly, he makes is pretty weird when he finds out you’re trans but so long as you allow things to go back to the status quo Bill is happy to return to what it familiar to him.

After all, dude hates change and he already had to try to cope with possibly being “gay” for having feelings about you and now this only complicated things.

In the end it doesn’t seem to matter to him all that much even despite his weird vocalizations about not wanting to seem “gay” or whatever else the crazy fool goes on about. As long as you have the right takes on fandom than he supposes he can set aside his questions (and insecurities) alike.

Josh

With the Superboy dilemma already under his belt Josh isn’t exactly as limited as Bill when it comes to questioning his sexuality.

He thinks some men are attractive so maybe that’s all this was? That was his initial rationalization when he noticed himself thinking about you more often than he had intended.

But when those thoughts hadn’t stopped than much like Bill he had become rather disgruntled. He wasn’t “gay” at least he didn’t think he was and even if he was questioning it he couldn’t let the guys find out.

Less of a defensive lunatic than Bill Josh doesn’t need to monopolize your time or get any possible “competitors” or “interlopers” alike.

No instead this is somehow yet another way to fuel his self loathing even further. Even if he won’t acknowledge what the feelings are he always takes any perceived rejection alike as some kind of dig.

When he finds out that you’re trans however, it doesn’t really help nor worsen any of his questioning.

He had already laid awake a night questioning every little interaction and now he only had more questions. Was he still gay? Less gay? More? Does it matter?

In the end he may just decide to try and hide his feelings only for them to most likely slip out at the worst of times as is typical Josh fashion.

In his own weird manner, he may just like Bill rationalize it in his own weird way acting like regardless of his own need for understanding that the only thing he truly cares about is whether your opinions in fandom are correct.

I mean, how big a fan you are mattered way more than what your gender was when his interests were his lifeline. The guys can piss up a rope if they judge him for it.

Pete

Denial. All. The. Way.

As far as he was aware he had no thoughts about you that were even slightly homoerotic. And that was the word for it too even if he did.

Not gay. Homoerotic. Like Diary of a Vampire shit which is like cool unlike the other things it could imply.

Okay, so on a more serious note Pete ignores his feelings and actually doesn’t have it immediately be obvious like Bill or Josh do.

Sure he goes a little easier on you at times and maybe he sides with you more on things but as far as Pete’s concerned that’s just because you guys are close.

You get him in ways that no one else does. And you don’t rag on his interests like his family or his friends even do.

He’s loyal to you is all, the way friends ought to be (that aren’t his other shitty ones). But deep down Pete knows he’s lying and it still eats him up in a way.

Like Josh, he thinks about you too much. Not like a Bill Dickey ‘I need to monopolize all your time forever’ kind of way but rather in a way where you’re always in his mind even when he really wished you’d leave him be.

When he finds out you’re trans he’s kinda insensitive about it given his only experience with anything of the sort is the porn categories that have to do with those sorts of things. And the revelation doesn’t really help stop any of his questioning.

He avoided those thoughts. Killed them all off before he could even think of them. But even despite his hopes that the knowledge would somehow deter his hopeful heart, it did nothing of the sort.

With how rash Pete is, it most likely will only come out in a moment of passion where he sticks his foot in his mouth. But hey, maybe you can help not only educate him about how being trans works but also maybe you can help him learn more about himself (and his sexuality that he represses).

Jerry

While Jerry is arguably the most tolerant he’s also the easiest to stun lock when he’s confused or overwhelmed.

And speaking of being overwhelmed, man oh man was he when he noticed his feelings for you.

Unlike the others, Jerry is quick to acknowledge the erratic beating of his heart when he was in your presence. And he was even faster to connect it to his growing romantic feelings for you.

However, with it grew his own insecurities. The guys already were often cruel to him for his interests and he knew this wouldn’t be any different should he actually tell them about his newfound crush.

Therefore, he found that the best course of action was to try to ignore the feelings. Besides he didn’t want to be weird feeling that way about you when you probably didn’t like guys. And as far as he was aware he never did before he met you.

At most he acts rather flustered and tense around you, often trying to avoid you when he gets overwhelmed.

He didn’t want to lose your friendship but he was deathly afraid of his awkwardness causing some social blunder that caused it to go all up in flames.

When you confided in him that you were trans it didn’t change his feelings but he couldn’t help but wonder even more about what it said about him.

Did it even matter? Maybe it didn’t because in the end he still thought about you day and night. He still loved your company and wanted to be besides you.

Maybe he had less of an idea about his own identity in general but he was assured of his those feelings of his at least even with all the self loathing and doubts that plagued him.

That’s why even if it nearly kills him he can’t deny himself. If you can be true to yourself than he would be true to his feelings for you all the same.

It may be the most godawful stunted awkward confession possible but even so he’d confide in you his most intimate feelings in return for you trusting him with your authentic self.