em

‎

being friends ginny meant being taken in by her family as if you had the weasley name yourself.

‎

at some point you'd stopped being "ginny's friend" and simply become another addition to the burrow. it was normal by now. molly placing an extra plate out on the dinning table before even asking if you were coming. arthur greeting you with that same warmth he greeted his own children with. and the twins had long since given up knocking before barging into your guest room whenever you stayed over.

there was no ceremonial moment or pinpointed day it happened. one day you were just a nervous first year, clinging to ginny's side. and the next you were spending holidays at the burrow, borrowing jumpers from the overflowing coat rack, and getting dragged into family arguments that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

the weasleys stopped asking if you'd be joining them for the holidays. instead they asked when you'd be arriving.

"absolutely not."

you looked up just in time to see molly swat fred's hand away from the plate of freshly made scones.

"mum," fred complained. "you're starving your own son."

"i fed you twenty minutes ago."

"that was twenty minutes ago."

from across the table george chimed in, nodding solemnly. "a growing boy needs nourishment."

"you're seventeen"

"still growing."

you snorted quietly, taking a sip of your tea.

fred's head immediately whipped in your direction.

"oh, you think that's funny, do you?"

without giving you a chance to answer, he leant over the table and snagged a piece of toast straight off your plate.

"fred!"

"finders keepers."

it wasn't unusual. not anymore at least.

there had been dozens of moments over the years that insinuated the fact that the weasleys had quietly grown to claim you as one of their own.

like the time molly had knitted you your own christmas sweater. or when arthur took pride in showing off your exam results. or even when percy had spent a full blown twenty minutes giving you a lecture on homework and punctuality. which was perhaps the greatest sign of acceptance anyone could receive.

unfortunately. being treated like family also came with its consequences.

specifically, the lack of respect for personal property.

"has anyone seen my coat?"

"no."

"negative."

"not that i know of."

the responses came far too quickly.

you narrowed your eyes towards the twins who seemed far too focused on books they'd never cared to read.

"you're wearing it, for merlins sake."

fred paused, looking down at the sleeves on his arms.

then looked back at you.

"oh, would you look at that."

"i think she's right, fred." george squinted from the opposite side of the couch.

"brilliant observation george." ginny said sarcastically from the dining table where she had books splayed out before her.

"thank you."

"take it off, it's my favourite coat."

"it was your favourite coat," fred corrected "happens to be mine too. it's what we call shared custody."

"you stole it, that is not the same!"

"borrowed."

"it's been missing for months."

"extended borrowing." he shrugged with that stupid half tugged smile like he did no wrong.

"unbelievable." the words left your mouth as a mutter while you narrowed your eyes.

"y/n, there you are dear!" molly practically cooed.

you smiled, turning to face her as she gave you a short embrace. "heading out are you?" she asked, looking you head to toe.

"just visiting the library. i've got a few books i need to return."

"ah, perfect. would you mind stopping by the bakery and grabbing me a few things?" she clasped her hands in front of her chest.

"oh-, of course.."

"fantastic, let me write you a list."

you paused. your mouth opening to say something but closing quickly after no words came out. a few things never actually meant a few. you should've known that by now.

"here you are," she said after she'd scribbled down on a teared piece of paper, handing it to you.

she brushed her hands against her apon. "ron! RON!" molly called and rons head poked out over the stair railings shortly after.

"be a dear and go with y/n to pick some things up for me!"

"why me?" baffled at the fact that he'd been the chosen lackey out of everyone again.

"because i asked."

"that's hardly a reason."

"it's the only one your getting."

"it's no use mum." fred shook his head with pursed lips and raised brows.

"yeah. that boy's no good." george agreed.

she placed her hands on her hips, tilting her head and now looking at the two boys on the couch. with a shake of her head she spoke. "you lot can go with her than."

"now look what you've done fred." george hit the back of his brothers head.

"what i did? if anything it's ron's bloody fault!"

a moment of silence past as molly waited for someone to step up.

"don't make me come over there." she warned.

"i can't, i'm busy." george said, raising the open book in his hand.

her gaze flicked to fred who looked a second away from finding a similar excuse. but the thought vanished as soon as he met his mothers gaze.

"what-"

"get up!"

he threw the blanket off of himself and stood up.

"that's a'boy," she clapped a hand on his back. "now off you's go, i need those before dark!"

and with one last reminder from molly not to forget the eggs, and another from fred insisting he hadn't agreed to carry anything, you two set off down the winding dirt path. getting further and further from the burrow as you saught towards the village.

for the first few minutes neither of you spoke.

not because it was awkward.

quite the opposite really.

silence wasn't a foreign nor uncomfortable concept within yours and fred's relationship. years of friendship had seen to that. so now, walking side by side with nothing but the sound of the gravel crunching beneath your feet felt anything but uncommon.

fred was the first one to break it.

"so..."

you glanced over.

"library?" eyes gesturing to the tote bag of books slung over your shoulder.

you nodded

"thrilling day you've got planned."

"ha-ha." you've grown immune to fred's useless attempts at humour.

"let me guess. an encyclopaedia of moss?"

"no."

"the fascinating world of flobberworms?"

"definitely not."

"the life and times of the goblin liaison office?"

"i don't even think that's a real book."

"it should be."

"for who?"

"people who have trouble sleeping."

you shook your head with a chuckle. "i'm returning a novel."

fred stopped dramatically. "a novel?"

"yes."

"you've changed."

"i have, have i?"

"i hardly recognise you anymore."

"oh shut up." you rolled your eyes, nudging him with your elbow. "at least i read."

"i read."

"the labels on zonko's products don't count."

fred placed a hand on his heart.

"that was unnecessarily hurtful."

"wasn't wrong though." you muttered under your breath.

you finally found yourselves walking along the village pathways after some time. making a beeline towards the outside of the small library.

"do i have to come in?"

"yes."

"i think i'm allergic."

"to books?"

"to silence," he said, like it was some revelation before continuing.

"can't you take them in another day?"

"they have to be returned today."

"details."

"that's... quite literally the most important detail." you cocked a brow to which he grinned.

"don't be an idiot." the bell above the door chimed as you tugged him in after you. you made your way to the circulation desk to return the novel while fred began to wander aimlessly through shelves of books.

"back already?" the librarian asked with a smile.

you placed the couple of books on the desk. "afraid so."

"did you enjoy them?"

"enough to wish there were more chapters."

"i'll see if i can find you something similar."

"thanks."

by the time you'd finished you'd lost all sight of fred. you searched the aisles, finding him standing in the near-end section reading the pages of a colourful childrens book.

"finished bonding with the books?"

he looked up, snapping the book shut as he grinned. "are you? blimey. could you 'ave been any longer?" he said as he placed the book back in it's respective home.

you scoffed, though it came out more like a laugh. "come on. we have to get a move on if we want to be back by dawn."

"might wanna tell yourself that."

you turned your back to him, rolling your eyes regardless of the smile playing at your lips.

"hurry up."

"you love this."

"i tolerate it."

the walk through the village was easy. familiar in a way that it made memories auto play when passing by specific spots. almost making you forget that you were technically running errands.

the air shifted as you passed from the quiet lane of the library up into the louder hum of the ottery st catchpoles small high street. where shop windows reflected the light of the setting sun, and the smell of sugar drifted faintly in passing winds.

you entered the bakery and the smell of sweet pastries hit your senses almost immediately as you headed over to the glass counter.

"right," he said suddenly. "we're stopping here."

"we are not 'stopping here', i have a list."

"you have a list," he agreed. "but i have instinct."

you snorted. "which is usually wrong."

"i'm just saying," fred continued. "we should at least get one of everything."

"no."

"a selection."

"no."

"a small selection?"

you shot him a look over your shoulder. "fred."

he sighed dramatically, running a hand through his wind-knotted hair. "you're cruel, you know that?"

"i've been told."

"you deny me joy."

"i deny you unnecessary sugar."

you asked the man behind the counter for the listed items, while fred leaned closer towards the glass case. eyes scanning the pastries liked they'd personally done him wrong.

"you can't seriously expect me to stand in a bakery and not make any recommendations."

"i fully expect that," you said, which earnt you a long and offended pause.

then quietly, he spoke. like he was doing you a favour.

"you should get the jam tarts."

"i'm following a list."

"well your list is wrong."

"it's molly's list."

fred hesitated at that. "...your list is sacred, then." he amended.

the baker came back from behind the supply door, barely managing to place the first bag down on the countertop before you slid it over to fred.

"here."

he looked down at it, then back at you.

"excuse me?"

"you volunteered to come. now you carry."

"i was forced to come."

"and yet, here you are."

"i was wrongfully enlisted."

"by your mother."

"exactly."

"sounds like a 'you' problem." you smiled sweetly.

he looked at you before letting out a theatrical sigh. "i hope you appreciate the sacrifices i make."

"i appreciate you carrying all the shopping."

"i expected more gratitude for my doings."

"i'll think about it,"

"you wound me."

"i'll think about that, too."

the travel back to the burrow was uneventful.

well, uneventful compared to most peoples standards.

fred complained about carrying the shopping for the better half of the journey, despite every offer you made to take some of the bags. and somewhere along the way, he'd still managed to squeeze in a handful of dreadful jokes. ones of which he seemed far too proud of.

the sun had nearly set as the two of you finally stepped foot back into the burrow. the voices of george and ron arguing could be heard from the floors above. something george must've instigated again by the sounds of it.

fred dropped the paper bags onto the kitchen counter just as molly swept into the room.

"there you are!" she beamed, dusting her hands on her apron. "how did you get on? did you manage to find everything?"

"we survived." fred announced before you had a chance to answer.

"everything on the list." you assured after with a pursed smile, pulling the folded paper from your pocket and placing in on the table.

molly laughed softly, reaching over to the first bag. "and the library?"

"books returned."

"and a new one borrowed." fred added, hanging his (your) coat by the door.

mollys smiled widened. "i had a feeling."

she began unpacking the groceries, humming as she checked each item off her list, setting them aside after she did. "thank you, love."

"it was no trouble."

"it was." fred muttered. "i've been worked half to death."

molly didn't even look up. "you're still standing."

"barely "

"then you'll live."

within the hour, the smell over dinner had filled every space in the burrow.

as always, the table was crowded. conversations overlapping from one end to the other, making it nearly impossible to follow along a single train of thought. arthur recounted some interaction he had with a muggle during the afternoon, ginny and ron argued over the last roast potato, and fred and george partook every chance they could to instigate by chiming in to conversations.

you mostly listened, just enjoying your meal with a few laughs here and there as molly insisted everyone took seconds before they even finishes their firsts.

it was loud.

chaotic.

and something you'd grown to recognise as comforting.

as dinner worn on, the burrow began too settle into it's usual routine as time passed. plates were cleared, chairs scraped across the wooden floor as people dispersed. the chatter that had once filled the space now dwindled into quiet chatter and yawns.

arthur went into the shed after he said he'd "just be five minutes" which you all knew meant at least an hour. ginny disappeared into her room, ron flopped on the sofa and george vanished in the search of entertainment.

with everyone occupied with their own business, you went about yours. tucking the newly borrowed book under your arm and slipping out the door.

nobody questioned where you were going.

they never did.

you let your feet carry you down the familar path that wound through the field. it wasn't too far from the burrow, close enough that the golden glow of the kitchen lights were still visible, yet far enough away that the only in ear sounds were the crickets and the grass rustling from soft winds.

the old oak tree stood exactly where it always had. it's branches streched overhead like a canopy welcoming you in beneath it. you settled under it, leaning against the rough bark. the warm lighting of the setting sun peeked through the leaves, or lack thereof, making it all the more cozier.

for a while, that was all it was.

the peacefulness of being surrounded nature.

the turning of pages.

you'd become so engrossed in the book that the sound footsteps approaching hadn't registered until they came to a stop besides you.

"i've been look for ya' everywhere you know?" fred's voice broke the silence.

"i somehow doubt that." you replied without looking up.

"fair point. this was the only place i looked."

he just stood there, but you said nothing of it. not expecting anymore of him. "mum thought you might've snuck off."

"did she now?"

"not really."

you finally looked up, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

"so, you just fancied interrupting me?"

"i prefer the term, 'keeping you company'." he shrugged. settling himself down besides you without so much as an invitation.

it was nice and quiet while it lasted.

fred leaned back against his hands, stretching his legs out in the grass like he'd planned to stay.

you returned to your book, though your attention wasn't nearly quite as fixated on the words themself as much as it was before.

"is it any good?" he eventually asked.

"i don't know yet."

"that sounds like it's already put you to sleep and you just being polite about it."

"it sounds like i've just only read the first three pages."

"same thing."

you huffed a quiet laugh and turned another page.

fred tilted his head slightly. "you always come out here?"

you finally looked up at him and there was a brief yet unbothered pause.

he had already been watching you, like he knew what you'd say anyway. he gave a small, easy nod. not needing an actual answer.

"yeah," he said simply, like the silence you kept was what he expected all along.

the silence settled.

the book rested loosely in your hands, unread. while his gaze shifted to the horizon, but not quite fixated on anything particular.

minutes passed like that.

both of you, just there.

eventually, fred spoke, quiter than before. "i didn't actually come out to ask you that."

"no?" as if it hadn't been obvious to you anyway.

"i just," he paused, knowing what he'd say wouldn't normally be something he'd bother to say aloud. "knew you'd be here."

it landed differently.

not new information.

just finally said.

you didn't answer, because you didn't have to. instead, you just silently stopped pretending that you didn't notice when he started showing up.

or how often.

or how quickly it'd become normal for him to just always be around.

"you've read that sentence four times."

you sighed. "i have not."

"you have."

you closed the book over your finger, marking where you were up to. "happy?"

"immensely."

you rolled your eyes, but the lingering smile on your face betrayed any real irritation.

the conversation faded as easily as it started. neither of you seemed bothered by it.

you opened your book again, more out of a habit than actual intention to read. fred shifted besides you, extending his legs across the grass.

the pages turned. once. twice. then stopped.

"you're still not reading."

"i'm trying."

"mhm."

you glanced sideways at him. "and who's fault is that?"

fred looked thoughtfully towards the sky. "i'd say yours."

"mine?"

"you keep getting distracted."

"i keep getting distracted?"

"well, you're certainly not looking at the book anymore." he shrugged.

"i'd say that's entirely your doing."

"my own?"

"i was reading perfectly fine before you decided to come and join uninvited."

"were you?"

"yes."

he hummed, purely unconvinced. or maybe just trying to bait you into proving him right.

"give us a look."

"no."

"oh, come on." he reaches but you lean away, avoiding the prying hand.

"you're insufferable."

"you've not read a single word since i've got here."

"maybe you should consider the fact that you're the problem here."

"i'll take that as a compliment."

"you would."

"i absolutely would."

you shook your head, smiling despite yourself.

"there it is."

you frowned almost instantly. "what?"

"that smile."

"what smile?"

"the one you get when you're trying very hard not to smile."

"i wasn't."

"you are."

"i'm not."

"you've just made it worse."

you let out a laugh, ducking your head.

"i hate that you notice these things."

he grinned. "i've had years of practice."

the words rested between you. he'd said them so casually. like it was something obvious. maybe it was. you'd known fred long enough to pick apart the things he'd say as jokes, but this one you couldn't seem to manage. then you let out a small laugh.

"that sounds awfully like an excuse."

fred didn't answer straight away.

but the grin stayed on his face. easy as ever, yet he didn't add anything to it this time. just looked at you, like he was waiting for the next line that never found it's way. because this time, stuck behind his teeth, was nothing. no joke to add on.

your eyes finally flickered to him properly.

and that was all it took.

his mouth met yours before either of you thought to make it anything else. it wasn't slow or careful like it would've have been if he stopped to think about it before acting, it just happened. like he'd decided this was better than whatever else he was going to say.

his hand found the grass besides you to steady himself, though there was nothing unsure about the way he kissed you.

you were infatuated, completely and utterly. too far gone on a trail that stuck by the task of discovering the truth to him. because somewhere deep down in the pit of your stomach you felt it.

‎

there was something different about this boy. something you couldn’t pin point. and everytime you thought you were getting closer to figuring out what it was, you were met with a dead end. not even nearing the dark truth that hid behind those polite smiles which never quite reached his eyes.

the churn.

the uncomfortable feeling of when you’re intuition knows somethings wrong before your consciousness does.

and it does nonsensical things to your mind. everytime he’s around, merely in the same room and a range apart, all you can do is stare. it was like he'd hypnotize you, forcing you to delve deeper into your own already awaiting grave.

there was something off about him. something corrupted that loomed over his waking form. and you were determined to find out what he was hiding. what he managed so adeptly.

‎

‎

the smell of fresh rain lingered in the air as you made your way through the corridors. you were on your way to the library, in search of a specific book. wanting to discern the reasons as to why you weren’t succeeding with the protego charm.

scarf wrapped securely around your neck, fighting back against the chilly weather that threatened to bite at your skin. the school was at its loudest time of day. students out and about as laughter and voices echoed through the halls like a mockery dedicated in your favour.

prying eyes and not-so-subtle glances didn’t stray from you. you’ve gotten used to it. your story was known, though it was never theirs to tell.

so young when it happened.

but nothing could be salvaged when that day you were already all over the front cover, being perceived as a murder of your own blood.‎

‎

1937, may 17th. the day the world of wizardry knew your name. but not for reasons you would’ve ever wanted.

‎

it started with a slip up, a lash of anger. triggering the uncontrolled burst of magic during an argument with your younger brother. only nine as you stood before a collapsed shelf and a small still body lying on the ground. the crimson red liquid seeping into carpet floor.

‎

your parents called it an accident. but the word never felt like enough.

‎ ‎

students distanced from you. not because you were seen as a danger to stay far from, but perceived as unpredictable. afraid of triggering a temper that no longer existed.

‎

‎

the library door groaned open on its hinges, walking in and closing it slowly behind you. it was as empty as usual, except for the few familiar faces you’d seen most days.

‎

sweeping through towering shelves, scouring for a book to answer your complications. once you found it you looked around for a free and solitary space to study in. roaming with soft footsteps, though in an awfully quiet room they sounded louder than they should’ve.

‎

but you stopped. now standing just outside the aisle you were in previously as your whole body went still.

‎

there he was. head down as he buried himself in books of spells and potions. alone, as he always was. and that only ever added to the unsettling aroma that lurked by him like a friendly shadow. and you just stared, eyes narrowing slightly as you analysed him.

‎

it unsettled you how fixated you’d get every time he was in eyes reach. this untranslatable voice quietly echoing in your ears, each syllable drawn out whisper. like some out-of-body experience. and as if he physically felt your eyes on him, he met your gaze. only tilting his head up just enough so that you could see his face. holding your gaze with the patience of someone who knew you would be the first to look away.

‎

a smile broke out on his lips. that same uncanny and polite curve of his lips that sent a shiver down your spine. the hiss-like breath in your ears fading as he went on with his business.

‎

you slowly began to fall into step again, making way to where the rain fell soothingly against the glass. But your mind was elsewhere. flicking through the rough pages of paper as your mind tangled itself in incoherent thoughts. you were unable to make sense of anything that was going on in your brain as of the moment.

‎

you left the thoughts to quiet on their own. drowning them out as you focused on figuring on how to perfect your spell charm.

‎

‎

prefect duty was oh-so-fine when counteracted. being called in to switch turns when you already had plans that same night? was not-so-fine. regardless, and left with no choice you do so. not wanting to cause a disruption this late at night.

‎

you wandered round the school quietly, looking out for any first year students in need of guidance and what not. but everyone was left soundly in their dormitories.

‎

eventually after a fair amount of time passed, you began to head back to the slytherin homeroom. on your way there, a figure caught your eye. slipping down a corridor.

‎

safe to say it was far past curfew and by the height of that figure it wasn’t someone who has lost their way. picking up your pace, you set after them. footsteps padding softly against the hardened floor. rounding the corridor and slowing your steps as you lost trace of them. left standing in an empty corridor. it was silent.

‎

till it wasn’t.

‎

the whisper returned. no longer behind you, but ahead. as if the dead-end wall itself had learned to speak. you stepped closer, breathes evening out as your brows furrowed in confusion. staring up at the wall as the snake-like-whisper began to echo louder in your ears the closer you got.

‎

somehow catching the last words, your lips moved as if on autopilot. the foreign sound coming from your own mouth like it understood it, though your brain did not.

‎

“what are you doing here?” a voice cut through the deafening silence, calm and collected.

‎

the sound from your mouth stopped immediately. you looked over your shoulder before turning entirely. tom now right before you.

‎

“nothing.” the word was immediate. defensive. confused.

‎

it came out too sharp, too fast. like you were trying to convince yourself more than him. you hadn’t known what you’d just been doing. no recollection or familiarity with it.

‎

tom didn’t move right away. his eyes sticking to you like he was studying the shape of your answer itself.

‎

“nothing?” he repeatedly quietly.

‎

not disbelief. but testing.

‎

the corridor was quiet again. too quiet. not the normal kind of silence hogwarts wore at night.

‎

“it’s past curfew,” you added, finally averting your eyes to the space around them, the empty corridor, the obvious rule he had broken. “you should be in your dorm room. students aren’t permitted to wander the corridors at night."

‎

though he could easily justify that by being head boy, he made no move to. for a moment tom simply stared. then the corner of his mouth twitched.

‎

“a curious concern.”

‎

your brows drew together.

‎

“why?”‎

‎

“because,” he replied, glancing briefly at the wall behind you. “you seemed rather occupied with something else a moment ago.”

‎ ‎

“i wasn’t, i was-” you paused. something didn't add up.

‎

“looking for someone…” you finished, though the words felt uncertain as soon as they left your mouth.

‎

his expression remained unchanged.

‎

“were you?”

‎

the question so simple, but so heavy.

‎ ‎

your brows knitted together once more. you had been following someone… hadn’t you? that was why you had come here in the first place. you couldn’t see what they had looked like. couldn’t remember which direction they’d gone. only certain that you saw a figure.

‎

“yes,” you said finally.

‎

tom tilted his head slightly.

‎

“did you find them?”

‎

it should’ve been easy for you to answer such a simple question. instead it made your stomach churn. you had followed someone here. you knew that much. but your memory of anything else seemed to dissolve.

‎

a moment of silence passed between you. tom just stood there. waiting.

‎

for an answer.

‎

for something.

‎

you weren’t sure.

‎

but when nothing came, he spoke calmly.

“you should return to your dorm.”

‎

you blink. the statement catching you off guard as tom stepped past you.

‎

then paused.

‎

“try not to get lost.”

‎