Things Iâve said while Gaming
âIf youâre gonna kill me, at least suck my dick firstâ
âFuck my entire assholeâ
âOh, thatâs right, just go straight on in without lube. I /appreciate/ it.â
âMan if Iâm gonna get fucked a bit of foreplay would be appreciatedâ
âDead. Again. Well good for me, now Iâm FUCKT.â
âIf you could NOT kill me, thatâd be cool.â
âAnd fuck you. And you. Oh, and you in particular.â
âI swear to FUCK that I will find your family, drag them out in front of you, KILL THEM and then kill y--Oh, Youâre dead now? Thank you.â
âAh, yes, a trail of dead bodies. This can be nothing but good.â
âOooh. What is tha-- ABORT. ABORT. MONSTERS THAT WAY.â
âI am going to shove ten gallons of cinnamon lubricant down your throat if you donât hurry up and fuck right on off very soon.â
âOh. Itâs a dragon. ...Can I seduce the drago-- Guess not. SHIT.â
âI donât know you but I love you and weâre getting married and Iâll send you letters from my adventures and itâll be really cool and romantic and shit.â
âAre you dead now? Good. I wanted your dress.â
âMan, fuck this place. Fuck this place in particular.â
âWhy canât I shit in that toilet. What sort of game is this.â
âCan I pee on this? No? STOP JUDGING ME ITâS AN IMPORTANT GAME MECHANIC.â
âNope nope nope nopity NOPEâ
â....Shit. Youâre hot.â
âHoly fuck this game is making me gay.â
âSee this map? Look at this map. I have a raging boner for this map.â
âI want you, and you, to smooch. Can you do that for me?â
âYou know if things could STOP GRABBING ME that would be REAL NICE.â
âI donât know if I want to punch him with my mouth or my fist.â
âI donât even like kissing people and I want to tangle tongues with this fucker.â
âHoly fucking shit youâre LIMPING. Were you doing that before? Are you okay?â
âOkay but like. Couldnât they have KISSED?â
âYeah. Nope. Still gay. This entire roadtrip is gay.â
âPlease zip up your shirt who wants engine grease on their tiddies? Seriously youâre gonna get burned.â
âLevel 75 huh? ...I ainât fighting you. Looky here, thereâs the road, youâre not looking at me, just gotta act casual... act casual... HAH YOU MISSED ME.â
âI hear wolves it canât be the full moon ALREADYâ
âGod dammit dinnerâs in heatâ
âI chopped down seventy-nine trees and angered the Tree God now please feed me.â