BLOW UP YOUR TV

relapsed on boar hunting

Remember to kill everything in your way today no hesitation

when my pussy is acting up && need putting in its place I send out a missive for sperm rodeos

Welcome to the sperm rodeo with sperm fighting events! Fan favorites like the wild turgid tadpole Ezekiel will be battling it out. Special tickets for sale that let you stomp non-violently on the micro critters as they lose their wild wriggler status!

I cannot emphasize enough how exactly accurate this is to working in production

BREAKING: Increased "Pjackk" sightings across Tumblr are being reported as many users claim to have seen a "disgusting metal object" interact with posts as recently as three hours ago, yet witnesses report that the blog in question remains inactive. Are these real sightings of the famed "Prototype Jack," or is this just an elaborate Tumblr hoax? We will report as more information becomes available.

I am chronically online but not in a way that keeps me informed #mybubble

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

A DOG OR SOME ANIMAL JUST WENT VIRAL

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices