+*. trans as heck +*.

Kamisato family

You can’t magic away trauma.

You also can’t faith it away, bless it away, or pray it away.

The only surefire way to properly deal with trauma—especially complex traumas—is to work with a therapist who specializes in trauma therapies and trauma-processing.

Radical Inclusion creates space and opportunities for people to grow, change, and explore themselves.

In Radical Inclusion, it let's people try on and take off labels. We turn our life into a clothing store, and everyone is welcome to come in and try things on. See a label that you like, try it on, but decide it doesn't fot exactly right? Alright, neat! Would you like something else similar? What can we do to help you out?

See a BUNCH of labels and want to try them all out? Maybe keep all of them, some, or none? Go for it! Go feral! If you think it'll make you happy!!

Took home a label years ago and then discovered it doesn't fit you anymore? That's totally fine! You can just return it! We'll happily try to help find you something else, if you want! No need to bring the receipt, either, to prove you're a customer ;P

And so many more metaphorical situations.

This is one of the biggest aspects of being a radical inclusionist; allowing change, encouraging growth, and helping in exploring.

In exclusionist groups, someone might identify as a trans woman and also a lesbian. Awesome, cool! Your identity falls under the LGBT label! But also you also have to experience dysphoria in order to be a trans woman.

Oh, you do experience some dysphoria? Okay, we'll allow it, but probably judge you for it.

Wait, a few years later, and you're a trans woman who's actually bisexual? NOT a lesbian? That kind of sucks but hey that's fine as long as you're ONLY attracted to binary genders. Because nonbinary genders aren't real. If you aren't only attracted to binary people then you are REALLY bisexual. Also, if you end up in a m/f relationship, you're kind of straight-passing so sorry but we might distance ourselves from you :/

Wait, you're not a trans woman anymore? You don't know what happened? You don't know why you feel fine being a man? Geez, maybe you were just being a FAKER. Were you just trying to sneak into women's spaces?? Are you some type of freak?

No, you can't be a woman AND a man!! You can only be cis or trans! I don't care that your gender feels like it changes!! You really are a fucking freak. I bet you even think nonbinary genders exist!!

And so on. And so on. Exclusionism leaves only judgement and pressure to pick what you want. It has to fall into LGBT, but only in CERTAIN ways. No bi lesbianism, gaybian, turigirl, transmasc/transfem/transneutral, gay bisexual, NOTHING like that.

You have to follow the binary. You have to fall into only x amount of boxes. You CANNOT overlap or share anythiny in common with each other. You cannot be unabashedly queer.

Meanwhile, Radical Inclusion is all about helping and reassuring. It's about assisting others in finding themselves when they don't really know where else to look.

"Oh, you sometimes feel like a man but also a woman? Maybe you're bigender?"

"You keep switching between being bisexual and a lesbian? Have you thought of just identifying as a bisexual lesbian?"

wanting and not wanting at the same time

in fact i think a lot of aro-ace people really hate that part of themselves, hide it, and struggle for a long time to ‘accept’ who they are and feel any sense of ‘pride’. that’s the feeling i wanted to capture here. the disappointment, the loneliness, upon realising that you can’t feel what is such a wonderful thing. the embarrassment of not being ‘normal’, of being some random sexuality that nobody irl has heard of, and letting down those around you because you can’t be who they want you to be. how desperately you want to change, how desperately you want to feel. but you just can’t.

i know not all aro-ace people feel like this. i know lots of aro and/or ace people feel able to be in relationships, to feel closeness and have partners in other ways. but i think it’s important to be aware that some aro-ace people do feel like this.

the comments on this comic have mostly been great but a few have been very frustrating. a comment it got a lot was along the lines of ‘aw!! you don’t need to have sex to be in a relationship!’. you completely missed the point, hah. this is not a comic about sex. it’s about a lack of feeling, the lack of something beautiful other people seem to have. another comment that popped up a few times was ‘maybe she’s a lesbian’. well maybe lesbians and aro/ace girls have more in common than people think - maybe they both often struggle to accept that they feel no attraction to men, even though society has conditioned them to do so, sometimes spending years trying to force themselves to like men in that way, when they just can’t.

this comic is called ‘wanting and not wanting at the same time’ because she wants to love. but when it comes down to the reality, she can’t fulfil the requirements of that. she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet. a sort of catch 22, i guess.

Thank you!!

Queer as in sex ed for kids and the elderly, queer as in free condoms in old folks homes, queer as in destigmatize STIs and stop calling them dirty, queer as in pro-sex workers and decriminalization

Queer as in decolonisation, prison and police reform/abolition, as in education reform, as in medical reform, as in harm reduction clinics, as in not only more women's shelters but also men's shelters and gender-neutral shelters

Queer as in anti-racist, anti-fascist, anti-transphobia, anti-queerphobia, anti-intersexism, anti-aphobia, anti-fatphobia, anti-islamophobia, and anti-antisemitism

Queer as in "yeah my gender IS sparkly blue and my sexuality is one you've never heard of and that's okay"

Not queer as in gay, but queer as in rallying call

People can pick their gender? Which supermarket is selling gender? How much does gender cost? How is the taste of gender? Can I buy a gender+ premium service?

I am a cisgender male, I didn’t pick my gender, I just am. My gender is my inner feeling, my gender is how I see myself and want others to perceive me. My gender is my birthright and my property.

you can be aro and want romance.

wanting to partake in something ≠ having attraction

that's why cupiosexual and cupioromantic are labels that exist (among many other). that's why people can be sex and/or romance favorable and still be ace or aro.

i saw a couple people say you can't be asexual if you want to have sex, and that's just false. yes, some/a lot of aces and aros are repulsed by sex and/or romance, and they're so valid! but those of us who want sex/romance (for whatever reason) are valid and should not need to justify/defend ourselves.