Sweetest thing this side of the Mississippi

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

"it's so fucking over" yeah dude it's 11pm it's the end of the day it's time for you to go to bed. and tomorrow you'll be so fucking back because you'll be awake. go tuck yourself in dude you'll be ok

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

Hey! Wanna fuck? Meet me on MyChart....

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

Nah dude don’t worry about it, she’s always saying shit like “I am bound to oaths I no longer believe in…” and trying to die in pointless battles. I wouldn’t pay it much mind

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

I love when people are weird. Do your thing diva

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it

i hate diet culture so much. i hate how everyone steamrolls over my "i don't like talking about dieting." i hate seeing vibrant, beautiful personalities turn into someone who only talks about their weight loss. i hate when people brag abt how little they've eaten. i hate being expected to fawn over ppl for being on a crash diet. i hate when women go "hahah, i just don't really eat!" i hate when ppl use coffee or cigarettes to suppress their appetite and think that's healthy. i hate when i see the pain in my friend's eyes because someone around them lost weight and they feel Too Fat by comparison. i hate when people assume I'm unhealthy because im fat. i hate that this is something i've had to deal with since i was 7. i hate when fat people, stranded in a culture that villifies every aspect of their being, are asked to clap and cheer for thinness.

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.