Holyman13

EAR LORE

damn we really in the wildest timeline huh

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean??? Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal

“Now, the Chamber of Secrets is only supposed to open for the Heir of Slytherin. But as it turns out, if you block the basilisk’s path out while you’re still in i-frames from the Bloody Baron, the magic just gets very confused,” he said, sprinting through the dungeon, repeatedly aiming his wand up and down.