Hollow Planet

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Experience

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple and wrong.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

an unfamiliar cat: (approaches me)

Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.