Lost Bi

Well, except by actually saying it of course.

You're smart, he figures, so he decides to slowly drop the hints for you to figure it out yourself. After all, you two have been friends since the beginning of high school so he doesn't want to risk making the friendship awkward by suddenly blurting out: "I know we've been best friends for forever but I love you."

He'd start out by subtledly giving you special treatment. You want to sit in the front seat? Mike is sitting in the back of the van, even if he called shotgun minutes beforehand. You forget to bring lunch money? Eddie refuses to lend Gareth an extra dime but scrambles to pull out a crisp $5 from his back pocket to give to you upon hearing from Chrissy that you forgot to bring your wallet today.

And whilst no one gets to sit on Eddie's throne except him: when Eddie and the kids find you falling asleep on the throne on the one day they were all running late, the metalhead cannot find it in himself to shake you awake and command you to sit in one of the other plastic chairs.

No, instead he opts to push the club session to next week, draping his jacket over your bare shoulders before lightly shaking you awake. The boys are there to witness (and gaze in awe at) the way Eddie's features scrunch up in adoration, tender fingers gently brushing against your cheeks as he lowly whispers into your ear. You stare up at him, bleary eyed, half unconscious, but Eddie doesn't mind.

No, he chuckles and offers you a piggy back ride back to his van.

"Dude what the hell! When I tried to sit on your throne you nearly stabbed me in the ass with a fake sword." Dustin questions loudly, making the senior turn around with a menancing glare.

"Shut up, Henderson! Just get the door for me, would you?" he asks, tilting his head sideways. Lucas and Mike snicker behind the curly haired boy as Dustin rolls his eyes but obliges (for your sake more than Eddie's), propping open the metal green door so Eddie can carefully carry you out the building and strap you into his front seat to drive you home.

But when you don't seem to pick up on any of it, Eddie amps it up: he starts getting touchier with you (whilst still being respectful, of course). His ring clad fingers will toy with yours under the table whilst you're talking to the Hellfire Club over lunch, and though you raise your eyebrows in curious interest, you don't stop him.

He'll find excuses to hold onto your hand or to wrap an arm around your waist - "it's really crowded here and I don't want to lose you," "it's awfully windy on this side of the road today", "i don't like how the group of guys across the street are staring at us" - and it'll elicit countless eyerolls and jokes from the guys, but you'll just brush it off as Eddie being your overprotective, kind, loyal best friend.

In fact, Eddie's lowkey crushed when the two of you are leaning against the front porch steps at a house party and he messily presses a kiss against your cheek, telling you that you're the best thing to have ever happened to him... And your response is to squish his cheeks and smile widely, cooing "aw, you're so sweet to me, Eds. You're awesome too."

"How much longer are you going to be toturing poor Munson?" Robin would question when you eventually walk over to join her on the dance floor, letting your best friend twirl you on the spot under the flashing lights. You'd frown, quickly glancing over at Eddie (you can't see his expression because he's smoking with his back turned to you) before looking back at Robin.

"What'd you mean? Is something wrong with Eddie?"

Robin hums, not wanting to be the one to spill the secret: it'd be unfair, she thinks.

"Never mind. Just... keep Eddie close, yeah?"

You roll your eyes at that.

"Duh, when do I not? He's one of my best friends, we're basically attached at the hip."

Eddie would be slowly losing hope at this point, kicking rocks with his head pointed downwards and dragging the soles of his shoes on the floor, that Steve would have to step in and give him a little kick in the right direction.

"Your problem is that you keep doing things that could be written off as friendly! Make a grand gesture that CAN'T be construed as anything but romantic." Steve urges, shaking Eddie's shoulders.

So Eddie books a reservation for a couple's dinner in this upscale restuarant an hour's drive from Hawkins and tells you about it one night when he's having a sleepover at your place.

"Hey, so you know how we're having a three day weekened this week cause Friday's a national holiday?" he casually mentions, trying to maintain a nonchalant facade. His heart is beating at what feels like a million miles per minute, hands anxiously drumming against the pillow he's squeezing to his chest, but you seem none the wiser.

Legs kicked up against the headboard of the bed, hair messily spread out onto the sheets as you look away from the book you're reading.

"Yeah, why?"

"I was wondering if you'd be up for like... a short road trip on Friday? There's this place an hour's drive from here that is known to do the most amazing pasta and there's a couple's discount with free dessert at the end too and I-"

Your eyes light up at the mention of free dessert, book long forgotten.

"Free dessert and pasta? Oh my god, Eddie, you're a fucking genius! Yeah, let's go."

The way you so casually speak about the dinner indicates that you're taking this NOT as a date but as a brilliant scheme by Eddie to get free food, so he has to awkwardly chuckle and attempt to reign you back in.

"Yeah but to be clear, we're going as-"

"Hold on." you shush him, sitting up to answer the ringing house phone. Eddie's impatiently squirming in his seat throughout your entire call, through which you giggle and play with your stray hairs. "Sorry, that was just Mason. You were saying?"

Eddie feels ice prickling in his veins, dread washing over him in waves.

"Who's Mason?" he asks, even though a part of him would rather not know. You shrug.

"Oh, he's just a guy from the town next over. I have to meet up with him tomorrow so he was just calling to check in. Why?" you question, innocently cocking your head to the side.

If you can see the heartbreak reflected in his eyes, you don't say anything. Eddie forces himself to smile and be his upbeat self for the rest of the night, practically scrambling to plug in the VHS tape into the television when your parents open your bedroom door and remind you and Eddie they'll be gone for the night.

"Are you okay, Eds?" you question him half-way through the movie, noticing that he's chosen to sit far away from you (usually he'd be right up against you, sharing a blanket draped across both your laps with a popcorn bowl in the middle). Not to mention, he hasn't been making his usual funny commentary, responding to your quips with short smiles and awkward grunts. "Are you mad at me or something?"

"What?" he blinks at you, slowly, voice tired and monotone. "Oh. No, of course not." he assures you, but the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Okay then..." you trail off, staring him up and down before moving closer to sit right by him. You snuggle right up against his chest like you usually do and Eddie doesn't protest - his breath hitches in his throat because in his mind, you've got a boyfriend now (some douchebag named Mason, he bitterly thinks).

But he likes this. He likes having you near him, feeling the weight of your head on his shoulder, your warm hands accidentally brushing against his whenever he goes to grab some popcorn. So he decides he can be selfish for the night. And let himself live in a fantasy where you and him are together and this is just another date night for you two.

Eddie quickly relaxes into your touch, puts an arm around your shoulder, and lets himself believe for that night.

You only became aware of Eddie's love for you when a fight breaks out between Lucas, Dustin and Mike, who have been having an ongoing bet about when you'd figure it out. Eddie's running late to Hellfire and you promised to sub in for Gareth (who was running a high fever) and you walk in to see the three boys nearly threatening to tear each other apart.

"Woah, woah, what the hell is going on?" you have to put your foot down, placing your backpack down on the floor with a thud. The teens immediately pause their fighting at the sight of you, with each of them practically elbowing each other in the face whilst rushing up to you.

"Have you figured it out yet?" Mike interrogates you, breathless.

"Figured what out?"

"About Eddie." Lucas cuts in impatiently. You blink slowly at the kids, still not getting it. Dustin throws up his hands in surrender and has to be the one to spell it out.

"Oh my god- HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT THAT EDDIE LOVES YOU YET? LIKE, ROMANTICALLY LOVES YOU? WANTS TO KISS YOU AND TAKE YOU ON DATES, LOVES YOU?"

"What?" both you and Eddie question at the same time - you, shellshocked, and Eddie, just having walked into the conversation. The boys know better than to stick around and scram out the room, avoiding Eddie's murderous gaze. The tall senior wants nothing more than to go after them and teach those little shits a lesson about privacy - but he can't. Not when you're staring at him, confused and surprised, eyes dazed at the revelation.

"Is what they're saying... true? Do you love me in that way?" you're totally flabbergasted, head spinning at the newfound information. Eddie doesn't even really need to confirm it, not when he's suddenly flushing pink and shuffling on his feet, refusing to meet your gaze.

"Uh... yeah." he says carefully, peering up at you through his long lashes. "I've been trying to tell you - well, I guess, show you- for like, a month or two."

"So all the... rules you let me break, the affectionate gestures, that couple's dinner you booked us..."

"I was trying to tell you I love you, obviously. Well, I guess not so obviously because the freshmen had to be the ones to break the news." he sheepishly adds, scratching his neck. "I know you have a boyfriend so we can just uh, pretend this didn't ha-" he begins to explain himself away, waving his hands around frantically.

"Boyfriend? Who told you I had a boyfriend?" you question, face scrunching up in disgust. Eddie frowns at that, stepping closer towards you.

"I think his name was Mason? You talked about hanging out with him a couple of times?"

You laugh at that, soft giggles filling the empty room.

"Eds, Mason is just a family friend that I tutor. His parents pay me $20 to tutor him in English Literature and History."

"Oh." is all Eddie can offer, his shoulders deflating. He's a total idiot, he realizes, having moped around for a whole week thinking that he'd blown his chances with you without even checking to make sure that this 'Mason' was actually your boyfriend.

"So... are you gonna kiss me now?" you tease, backing him against the wall. He smirks at that, raising his eyebrows.

"Are you telling me it's okay to kiss you?"

You shrug, fingers tracing his bottom lips.

"I don't know, Eddie, but I'm pretty sure when you love someone you're supposed to kiss them. You love me and I love you so-"

His lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence, cold fingers wrapping around your waist to pull you right against his chest, the kiss tasting like faded smoke and honey balmed chapstick.

"Say it again." he practically begs you, voice whiny and expression soft. "I've waited so long to hear you say you love me, so please. Say it again."

"I love you, Eddie Munson."

Eddie doesn't let you get away from him for five minutes straight, insisting you kiss him over and over to make up for "all the time lost."

As for the boys, none of them win the bet - they're left to each hand over a crisp $10 bill to Robin at Family Video when they admit that she was right. You didn't figure it out, Eddie never ended up saying it - one of the boys spilled it beforehand.