It wasn’t a decision easily made. In fact, it had been one of the hardest things Allen had ever done: He had fled. Like he was running from hell itself, he had chosen to run away from the Order to combat his fiercest enemy yet.
Komui had tried to cover it up, from what little he’d overheard in the conversations of finders and Exorcists alike that had unknowingly passed him during this time. A routine mission gone awry, apparently, and Allen had gone missing. But anyone who knew him likely knew better.
A routine mission wouldn’t take him out, not unless a Noah showed up to do it personally and even then, Allen was a cockroach, refusing to die no matter the circumstances.
So he dealt with the Fourteenth where prying eyes couldn’t see, when no one was present to help nor be harmed. It was hard, but far easier than it would have been while bearing the guilt of one his friends being hurt in the process. And he’d beat him. The whispering had ceased, the nightmares had been replaced with peaceful slumber. For the first time in a long time, Allen felt like himself save for one piece of the puzzle: His big brother.
A thought had occurred to him and been thrown out mere seconds later. It occurred to him that it would be easier to simply… not go back, to move on with his life—whatever was left of it, what with his Innocence eating away at his lifespan with every activation.
It was Lavi that kept the thought from being a viable option. He was sure that his disappearance had hurt him, had been a knife straight to the heart the same way it had been to Allen’s.
He could still remember standing at Lavi’s door, fist raised, ready to beg him to leave with him before he realized that defeated the purpose. The whole point was to be secluded, to keep Lavi and all the others safe from the monster living in his skull, but that hadn’t put a stop to the cumbersome loneliness that threatened to eat him alive in the months that followed.
So when he sends word ahead of him that he’s returning in a letter addressed to Komui and another to Lavi, he’s not sure if the hope that Lavi will welcome him back is even feasible.
… But he finds something even better when the Gatekeeper opens the path. There stands Lavi Bookman himself doing more than just welcoming; he’s waiting, as he likely has been this entire time. Guilt threatens to smother him when he steps over the threshold into a barely familiar hallway. It’s hard to breath and even harder to speak, but he manages a single word when he does open his mouth.
Allen can’t look him in the eye, gray eyes turning towards the floor instead. If Lavi punches him for his transgressions, he’ll accept that. If he has to punch, kick and claw at him to give him what he clearly deserves, he’ll accept that, too.
Whatever the punishment, he’ll accept it if it means Lavi won’t hate him in the end.
As soon as the gate opens, every single thought he’d had vanished in an instant. Because Allen is actually standing before him. He hadn’t just dreamt the whole thing up in his sadness.
Before he has a chance to even fully process that his brother is finally back, Allen speaks. All he says is his name, but it’s the best thing he’s heard in months.
Not wasting another SECOND, he stepped forward and pulled his brother into a hug. Nothing else mattered anymore. He didn’t even care that Allen had left him alone for so long. He was just so relieved that he was here, and that he was okay.