get ghosted !

Loki,blushing:”No,why?”

After seeing the first... how quickly my brain switched on the second...

Only, there was one he read recently, and it had a shit ton of evidence and was really well put forward. The jist of it is that he’s actually a nomu.

Dabi swears he’s not a nomu, but shit, his memory is really bad and they made a lot of good points, plus he hasn’t slept in like 36 hours, oh fuck maybe they’re right.

A sleep deprived Dabi stumbles out into the main living room and Tomura’s chilling on the couch and they lock eyes for like a solid minute before Dabi can’t take it anymore.

“Okay, just to be sure, I’m not a Nomu, right?”

Tomura has to stare for like another 10 seconds trying to figure out if Dabi is fucking with him.

“What the fuck- no??? I’m like 90% sure you’re not? Why the fuck are you asking me?”

Fuck it, Dabi decides to just show his hand because it’s been like a year and he’s gotten no where.

“Alright, all cards on the table here, my memory is pretty fucked up. Probably has something to do with all burns. Plus the heat stroke, which I assume must’ve happened at some point.”

Yeah, that adds up. Not for the first time, Tomura idly wonders how the fuck Dabi is alive as the man keeps talking.

“Anyways, basically I have no idea who the fuck I was or what I was doing any more than 2 years ago, and like, honestly even a few months back is stretching it. But I’ve been keeping an eye on stuff online to see if anyone else figures it out, and there was a really convincing video about me being a Nomu. It didn’t sound right, but I wanted to check. You’re sure it’s wrong though, right?”

Tomura would be judgemental about this, but he can’t really be. Like, he did also forget basically all of his childhood for quite awhile, so he gets it.

Well, he didn’t really have plans for this evening anyways.

“… Show me the video.”

They end up watching it together and by the end of it Tomura has to the call Dr. Ujiko to confirm that Dabi isn’t a nomu, because fuck that video made some good points.

But nope, it’s not right, so Dabi’s back at square one.

Now Tomura’s invested in this though, he wants to figure out who the fuck Dabi was, and quickly the two of them fall down the rabbit hole of youtube conspiracies.

It takes all of a few hours for the rest of the league to get in on it.

Hawks walks in at like 9 am the next morning and the whole league is just there, they’ve got a big wall of crazy with pushpins and red strings behind them and a whiteboard beside that with “Who the FUCK is Dabi?” written on it and like a million notes/theories on the whiteboard.

There’s several seconds of silence before Tomura breaks it.

“Listen, either sit your ass down and help or get the fuck out. We’re not doing anything else until we figure this shit out.”

Hawks closes the door behind him and goes to take a seat, grumbling under his breath.

@townseleven​

How dare you hide this in the tags???

God the heroes in this, the league’s attacks and motivations have gone from seemingly pointed to random and it’s impossible to predict where they’ll strike next. Or if they’re going to “strike” or just kinda show up and ask some questions. Then you’ve got other potential hijinks:

Hawks either can’t or refuses to explain why the league’s motivations have shifted because it’s too much of a weird rabbit hole to get the commission to understand.

Aizawa is losing his mind trying to figure out what’s going on and also ending up in a conspiracy theory rabbit hole, but with Extra Crazy

The league finds out about Izuku’s analysis skills and kidnap him, he’s expecting to be killed but they’re just kinda like “okay, so here’s the deal, if you can figure out who the fuck Dabi is, then you can go.”

Izuku: “… Is this like, a weird new torture method you’re trying?”

Shigaraki: “No we are 100% serious about this, motherfucker can’t remember who he is, and by god we’re gonna figure it out.”

Izuku: “… okay give me a notebook and some time.”

Izuku actually makes progress, examining the theories that they’ve already come up with and working his way through them to eliminate each one. He’s halfway through when the rescue squad shows up.

Katsuki, breaking down the door only to find most of the league chilling while Izuku is just surrounded by a ton of papers, notes, notebooks and photos: “…”

Izuku: “I can explain.”

Katsuki: “I cannot fucking believe I was worried about you, asshole.”

Shigaraki: “Hey! Wait! You can’t take him back, we still need him to figure out who Dabi is!”

Katsuki: “First of all motherfucker, you don’t tell me what to do. Second of all, I don’t want his ass back after this bullshit, third of all, what the fuck? Dabi is Touya Todoroki. That’s been super fucking obvious for ages now!”

1. Han seeing Luke’s injured hand after the sail barge battle and thinking that Luke has been a robot the whole time

2. Luke shaking his hand with a super-firm grip and Han just thinking “Wow this kid has gotten…absurdly strong.”

3. Luke just pulls off his hand one day and throws it at Han.

4. Luke picks up a spacechicken carcass and crushes it with his bare hand and Han is intimidated

5. Han says “It’s good to see you’re all right” and then Luke says “well, actually…” and pulls off his hand and Han falls over the back of his chair

6. Han says “It’s good to see you’re all right” and everyone gasps and Leia says “Too soon!” and Han is confused and they all just rag on him

7. Han needs a battery and Luke just opens up his hand and pulls out a battery and gives it to him and Han just stares

8. Luke reappears after a mission with all the synthflesh off and Han says “I thought it was easy but you LOST YOUR HAND?” and Luke just says “Oh, no, I lost this before Endor” and Han is hurt and betrayed.

9. Luke keeps making hand puns and limb puns and raising his right hand to high-five Han and Han just never gets it

naruto:

absolutely correct!! okay so everyone else’s positions stay the same but

captain=uhura

first officer=t’pring

science officer (only)=spock

communications officer=kirk

and the first time uhura calls t’pring “first” or “number one” t’pring SLIGHTLY blushes and spock notices it and teases her about it later calling it “blatant emotionalism” or something like that

also spock and t’pring often practice vulcan lyre together in the rec room and uhura sings with them and t’pring teaches uhura how to play the lyre (and their hands touch a bunch 😳😳) and t’pring doesn’t enjoy chess because she’s a jock, not a nerd, but her and uhura compose songs together

and uhura becomes interested in learning vulcan (bc while shes not communications officer, she’s still interested in cultures and languages) so t’pring is teaching her and uhura also teaches her swahili

and uhura also likes vulcan fashion and makeup and hair (minus the bangs, which t’pring doesn’t have anyway) and t’pring is curious about human styles so they also do things like do each other’s hair and makeup and nails (and try on each other’s clothes)

anyway YES spock and t’pring are still married (or whatever it’s called) when amok time happens and spock (very emotionally) stumbles onto the bridge and he looks directly at t’pring and he’s like “my wife it is time” and uhura’s like “WIFE??” and t’pring is like “yes, husband, it shall be as arranged” and kirk’s like “HUSBAND???”

and both kirk and uhura try to stop them and t’pring is like “it is a medical matter” so they ALL go to dr mccoy and the vulcans explain what’s going on (and that they don’t actually have feelings for each other but it was arranged to be this way and spock will die if his... biology... is not attended to)

and spock is like “this is the way it must be. there is no one aboard the ship who would be interested in bonding with me” and bones is GLARING at jim and jim is all 😳

and bones is finally like “spock, jims got something to tell you” and they all leave jim and spock alone and jim confesses his feelings and spock (in his emotionally compromised state) ALSO admits he has feelings but he’s worried about coercing jim into an unwanted situation and jim is like “nonono trust me i want this”

so it’s agreed that jim is to... assist... spock and spock explains this to the rest of the people and then t’pring takes jim aside and tells him what to expect (from both the bond and pon farr) and then bones gives jim some... supplies.. to help out

and anyway while jim and spock are off bonding and pon farr-ing for a few days (which breaks the bond between t’pring and spock), t’pring and uhura are talking and t’pring is wondering why uhura was so concerned and this time it’s UHURA’s turn to admit her feelings and t’pring explains that a bond is not needed at the moment for her but one may be... wanted.

New meme format