Hilarious Text Posts

me when i engage with something that i know is gonna piss me off: wow that pissed me off

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

DJ dubcon hopes everyone in the club is having a good time tonight but he’s not going to check

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened

"subtext" and "buttsex" being anagrams of each other is an example of order and harmony in the universe

They call me Cracker Jack because I'm white and there's popcorn inside me.

when it wasn't meant to be 🤣🤣 but the potential of possibility still plagues you 🤔

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

I don't have time for sex, I'm too busy running a blog that only 11 or 12 people care about

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

i do also feel the need to add that phil8248 really liked the joke. he said his wife had always had a dark sense of humour, even about her illness and death, and seeing the joke made him feel like he was laughing with her one last time.