Uh Oh..

sometimes girls dont answer texts ever and thats ok

sorry i’m late. had a hard time finding the “congrats on becoming the very thing you sought to destroy” section in the greeting card aisle

girl dad not as in a dad with daughters but as in a girl who shares the tastes habits and personality traits of a middle aged father

weekend vibes

i support women's neutrals. i support when women just stand there and do nothing

Why try to fit in when I can become the most offputting and haunted individual in the family bloodline.

last night I was denouncing some forgettable shitbag to my girlfriend and said “even the ground wouldn’t want him to rot in it” and was instantly projected into the body of a gnarled old irish woman 200 years ago, spinning thread and spitting on the ground as I bitch and look out to sea.

When you bitch so hard you astral project into one of your past lives

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

I need to be taken to the seaside for hysteria

Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

dasfsffadfjdag I meant girl but gork works better

I didn't even question it I was nodding along like I'm literally right there with you gork

Now I (still in bed) am going gork. gork please. we need to get out of bed already.

babygork please. please you have to get up