Naruto: DONT JOKE ABOUT THAT!!! DATTEBAYO!!!!! D:<

Sasuke: **goes yandere** I-Im the only one allowed in your guts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: *turns away to hide his blush* i’ve always wanted a partner with a tapeworm….

Kiba: tch…. thats so fucking unepic. i dont want my dick to get gobbled up by your tapeworm, we’re through [Y/N]. You lose the internet. kek

Shino: You werent suppose to know about that. **slaps you around**

Shikamaru: this is such a pain in the ass

Rock: **Lee**

Neji: Um….Okay

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

maid 1: poison her

maid 2: yea poison her

maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want

me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her

maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps

maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister

maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work

maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve

maid 2: MARY

maid 1: cmon mary

maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does

me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once

maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more

maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up

maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin

maid 1: how recent is the spill

maid 5: a few days old

knight 1: you took an oath.

knight 2: oath

knight 3: yeah wtf u swore an oath

knight 4: did you not swear fealty ?? how are you in this chat

knight 5: It is your duty to serve your lady, lest you be defined by your insolence.

me: okay yeah you guys are right but. she wants me to sleep with her

knight 4: ohhhhh shit hahahaha

knight 2: you're fucked

knight 3: no way LMAO ur boned

knight 5: I see no issue with this arrangement. A knight must do her duty.

knight 4: okay maggie

knight 2: mags cmon

knight 3: yea maggie u know its different

knight 5: Lady Magdalene.

knight 1: whatever maggie. is it really that bad. like its just sex. there are worse things.

knight 4: yeah didn't val have to lick her queen's feet

knight 2: DUDE

me: okay, normally i'd agree with you but. she's into BDSM. like... hardcore.. she wants to take me to the dungeon

knight 3: HAHAHA

knight 4: thats so funny

me: guys its serious she wants to hit me with whips and put me on the wheel. she wants to cut me with my own sword!!! like shes not fucking around

knight 2: oh i thought i had it bad. nvm lol

knight 1: brb i have to take this quest.

ladyfucksalot left the chat

knight 4: okay you're so fucked

knight 5: A lady must never face her Knight in combat. This is incredibly unbecoming. You must act.

knight 2: okay what are you proposing mags

knight 3: ....???

me: what do you mean act

knight 5: Slay her.

knight 3: BAHAHAHAHAHA

knight 2: c'mon

knight 4: maggie be serious

knight 5: If she wishes to engage in combat, strike her down.

me: okay but didnt we all take oaths. thats pretty not allowed i'm pretty sure

knight 5: She's breaking her oath by striking you down.

knight 2: i dont think thats how it works mags. i wish i could strike my princess down but like. thats def not how it works

knight 3: yea lmao

knight 4: okay i think we gotta chill out here we can't be saying this stuff

knight 2: hate to say it mads but ur gonna have to do it

me: awh man

knight 2: yeahhhh.. my condolences

knight 5: Inform the Queen.

knight 3: do NOT do that omg

HerRoyalCuteness joined the chat

princess: hey i heard you guys were talking about meeeeeee :333

knight 4: WHO ADDED HER

knight 3: FUCK

dragonfuckr left the chat

bladelover10 left the chat

awesomeval4738 left the chat

MagdaleneTheBrave left the chat

me: i'm so fucked

insane headline to pair with the actual photo of the beastie itself

hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.