Hic Est Baculum Meum

The recently released Nintendo Switch Online version of Donkey Kong 64 applies some emulator-level patches to the game to make it more playable than the famously glitched Wii U Virtual Console version, including adding carefully calibrated lag to make the emulation as accurate as possible to the Nintendo 64 hardware, and other enhancements.

One inexplicable enhancement, however, is "conditional grape darkening" introduced in Lanky's shooting minigame in Hideout Helm. This is the only place in the game where the graphic for Lanky's grapes has been darkened considerably through a patch included in the NSO version. Note that this place features a lot of grape-shooting, but Lanky can shoot a lot of grapes literally everywhere else in the game as well if the player wishes, so singling out this one spot is particularly bizarre

Top: how the grapes appear during regular gameplay. Middle: how they appear during that one minigame. Bottom: a side-by-side comparison.

Round 5 match 1: [ɸ] v [β] v [ɬ]

[ɸ]

Voiceless bilabial fricative

[β]

Voiced bilabial fricative

[ɬ]

Voiceless Alveolar Lateral Fricative

“And we loved it, we were all having a great time, but then he saw my sister and I, and he just got this - this look in his eyes, and then-”

She hesitated, worrying the coarse material between her fingers. “Things got pretty bad after that,” she muttered. “I know it’s silly, but I try to keep - her - comfortable. We don’t know if she can still hear us, or see us, or if she’s even still in here, but I like to think she is. I talk to her when I can, I leave music on when I’m out of the house. I tried to convince my parents to bring her with us when we went to Disneyland, but they didn’t - didn’t really take that well.”

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