emily!

vampires don't need to bathe because they can't sweat or anything but they absolutely get dirty from running through the woods all day. so whenever that happens carlisle lines all the kids up outside and absolutely blasts the shit out of them with the pressure washer like he's trying to get mud off a car

the marble skin ensures they don’t get hurt or anything, but once or twice Alice wasn’t paying attention and didn’t plant her feet and her little body got blown right into a tree

Emmett tries to bite at the water like a dog with a garden hose

The twilight fandom has aged like a fine wine.

if you can’t reblog this unfollow me right now

sometimes i wonder why our generation’s sense of humour is Like This and then i remember that one episode of spongebob where patrick is stressed about his parents visiting and the punchline is that his real parents show up at the end and the random couple that had visited him are like ‘oh right we don’t have a son lmao’ and walk off without another fucking word

this hurled my wig into the rafters as a kid

the bears will be in eventually

He nyooms

jack had absolutely no right to go this hard

bold of u to say glee is a bad show

glee is a bad show

Fucking LOVE 90s and early 2000s commercials

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

How the mighty have fallen

Try explaining this to someone who’s never been on this website

remember when spongebob used to sometimes have actual people be in the cartoon and it was always extremely bad acting or really weird like why though

DAVID HASSELHOFF

those were the fucking funniest parts

the greats hung about this is all of those people is spongebobs voice actor