prospitianEscapee

This person hated videodrome so much they forgot their gender

The purpose of a Tumblr poll bracket is to engineer a situation in which 562 people will agree that hotdogs "beat" Last Year in Marienbad (1961), which itself has recently defeated the chemical compound phenyl ethyl salicylate, which toppled the kingdom of Silla (57BC-935AD), which killed the velvet worm that put an end to planking, and so on.

I’ve invented a gadget that makes you read this posts 🔬👩‍🔬

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

(sigh) okay... (CRUUEEENNNCH....) (SCREEEEEENCH...) owie.. (CRUUEEENCH)

this is one of the most rewarding things about posting self care tips on this site. witnessing people's lives getting better in real time. this is why I post

problem i have is whenever i read write say or hear "sugar baby" my brain is like oh yeah, i know what that is! pretty sure we can reliably derive meaning for this term based on other definitions that precede it in our internal lexicon, like "sugar glider" and "bush baby". we are definitely talking about some kind of small arboreal marsupial with large eyes. it's probably not ethical for this wealthy patron to be keeping one as a pet

(Other ideas presented by this dream: Garfield is one of the stock characters in Commedia dell'art and/or kyogen theatre.)

there is something so perfect. so emblematic of the pop culture landscape we live in. that for the next however long, the canonical ending of doctor who is that the doctor turns into billie piper for absolutely no fucking reason

I mean if you're stranded at sea and you do kill a seagull with a golf ball and it lands on the deck and you don't have any water you COULD drink its blood for hydration but you run the risk of losing more water if it makes you too nauseous, and you would get more hydrated just eating the meat. If has bird flu you're fucked tho.

of course any sailor could tell you "don't kill a seagull it's bad luck" but personally if a sailor told me that while I hucked another wilson soft at a screaming airborne beach menace I would probably not handle the advice too well. I would most likely not take it with a lot of patience if I'm being fully honest

Id use my fantastic machine that turns blood into water.

it's always the fantastic blood machine with this guy