Hanina Britanico

I know how much you love, you love your family so much that you moved to the city to earn more to send your siblings to school. You start your day at 5am, to fall your way in long lines, squeeze yourself in crowded trains and wait your tired legs for the traffic lights to turn pedestrian green, that's how much you love them.

You go home every weekend to hype yourself up, that by Monday you'll be inspired again because you are reminded of why you work so hard, even if your bosses treat you as a robot, even if you're asked to skip holidays, you forgot about yourself, you told yourself your happiness was based on the happiness of your siblings, who will later be graduating, and when you're done working for everybody else's future, you can start loving yourself, and letting yourself be loved by someone who will love you as much as you loved your family. 

Would You Write About Me?

It was the 1st of June 2015. I was with my friend at the bookstore to buy journals and I saw my bisexual college crush with her girlfriend at the journal section. My friend, knowing that I had a crush on this girl pushed me to the journal section and even yelled, “YOU NEED A JOURNAL DON’T YOU???” which I did, my journal has ran out of pages, that’s why I was at the bookstore. So I went in the same section where my bisexual college crush was and her girlfriend. I was lucky enough to get the last journal that was all-brown recycled paper from the inside out, if you like journals, you’d understand. Fast forward to 2018 and I’d learn from my girlfriend how I made my first impression on her, I took the one and only journal she wanted, because my bisexual college crush is my girlfriend now. My argument, always when she tells that story to our friends is, “If you were the one who got the journal, would you write about me?” 

Her eyes were just there to see,

her ears were just there to hear,

her neck was just there to support hear head,

her hands were just meant to hold,

her feet were just there to take her to places

until,

those eyes saw you,

those ears heard you,

that neck was kissed by your lips,

her hands held by you,

and her feet met yours halfway,

but now,

they’re just body parts again,

My and my girlfriend fought last night,

and we both slept with heavy hearts.

While I wrote down what I had to say,

she went on to express herself through her visual art.

Today I went out with my friends, and told them my problem. 

She doesn’t like me telling my friends of our fights, 

but this was an exception

‘cause we’re well-aware of our mistakes

but on our own, we refused to have it mentioned.

So I let time pass, and so did she, 

but deep inside I felt like the fear of her quitting on us was eating me.

I still struggled to think, my friends offered me a smoke,

I couldn’t even finish my cigarette knowing that she stopped smoking after she met me..

and sure enough, one small thing lead to another,

I ran to her house just to learn she’s not there.

I texted her and tried to call her,

but what happened next was something as romantic as a love letter,

turns out she was at my house the entire time,

so I ran back home and saw her,

We didn’t speak a word to each other,

All I remember was she hugged me the tightest I’ve ever felt,

and I hugged her back tighter, tighter than when she fixes my belt.

The world stopped, everything was silent,

None of us wanted to let go, but we both said at the same time: 

We met at boarding school, she was a local, I was from a port town.

I grew up to the view of massive ships docking, with its lights beaming, even from afar

While she grew up looking at churches with the bright lights coming from candles

Her city, had many cars, my city was all into public transportation,

She lived in a house where the grass didn’t have to be greener,

while I lived a few minutes from the ocean, but I was never a good swimmer,

She loves the water, she has a collection of bikinis,

While I always took beaches for granted knowing it will always be near me.

When our paths met, in the halls of the university, I knew nothing about her, 

she knew nothing about me.

But I never considered bring someone home to see the beach just a few minutes away from my house

I was a girl from the north and she was a girl from the south,

When two people from different places meet, they have a different routes,

but when they fall in-love, what seemed to be such hassle before,

is the reason how they get to know each other more.

So when I got to know her, and how she likes the beach,

I knew I was coming home soon and I was bringing her with me. 

And today I look forward to the house where we’ll live together,

Above the soil of the house where my parents first met her,

And there is nowhere in the world, even if I roam around,

The reality is, it’s not the place, it’s her, she is my hometown. 

Did everything he possibly would

I’d bring the sun in your storms,

the empty clouds above your home.

I’ll bring winter when you’re melting,

I’ll teach your sister algebra even if she hates me.

I won’t bring you flowers ‘cause that’s taking God’s love away,

but I’ll plant them for you so you’ll have them everyday.

I’ll base this in a Coldplay song, I will bleed myself dry,

I will tell you I cried first so you won’t be embarrassed to cry.

Let’s talk Philosophy until you fall asleep,

and even when I over-use my brain,

I won’t fail to show you that this heart hasn’t been claimed.

But in a swift turn of events, regardless of what I did,

He just says your name...