His eyes narrow as he looks over at her, a touch of disbelief coloring his eyes. Maybe he’s too jaded at this moment in time to believe words of goodwill, or maybe he just knows if he were in her position, he’d hate him too. “You don’t have to lie just to be polite, kid,” he mutters, “I’m not gonna go telling on you to her.” A larger than small part of him hates that he feels like he can’t get Min’s name out of his mouth. He wonders if his best friend feels the same. Nick can’t remember a time he’s ever really seen Blair be this stern, which is saying something considering she’s not really doing all that much, and he wonders where it comes for her. It’s puzzling, a bit of intrigue in his otherwise dreary and boring week. He tilts his head to the side, raising a brow. “You study me often or something? What, have you been trying to get me alone this whole time?” he asks, slipping into the comfortable familiarity of senseless flirting, devoid of any real connection this time, saying shit just to say it, watching her reaction just to try to read her.
protest rises in her throat like bile, cheeks reddening and warming with shame. she detests being thought of as a kid, a child, this innocent little thing — she’s not. the reality is that she hasn’t been in quite some time, not with the way the world seemingly enjoys swallowing her whole & regurgitating her all the same, taking bits and pieces of her with it each time, over and over again. she doesn’t know where the old blair ends and the new blair begins, the one stripped of her naivety, her ignorance. all she knows is that she’s tired, so very tired, of being assumed to be gentle, pure, soft. her hand rises to stop his spiel, theatric and exasperated. at least she tried to be nice, handle him with the kid gloves she so desperately wishes someone would use towards her. and just like that . . . something inside her cracks, the remnants of her resolve shattering, ragged & sharp, slicing through the one last tender place she had concealed. ❛ you know what ? who do you even think you are ? don’t call me ‘ kid, ’ nick. i’m not a kid. i’m here, just like you, and judging by the level - five pity party of one that you’re throwing for yourself, i’m doing a far better job at being a hero than you could ever hope to be. maybe if you stopped feeling sorry for yourself and walking around with your tail between your legs only to lash out at anyone who makes the mistake of being nice to you when you’re clearly the last person who deserves it right now, you’d feel better. ❜ her chest heaves, outburst startling even herself, but the words keep coming. the flood - gates have opened, they’re past the point of no return, and she wonders for a moment so brief if there’s ever going to be any coming back from this. ❛ i’m not going to lie to you, nick. from afar, i actually thought that you were salvageable. even when minjeong was making my life a living hell day in and day out . . . you didn’t do anything to stop her of course, and please don’t think i was ever expecting you to, but you never made it worse. but i was wrong. you two deserve each other. you’re a perfect match. birds of a feather. ❜ she doesn’t know what happened between the two, and truthfully, she doesn’t want to. it’s far from being her circus and far from being her monkeys. once upon a time, her mother had told her to be careful, that sympathy fell somewhere between shit and syphilis in the dictionary. she’d laughed and told her mother that she’d never feel that way, that she could never be so cold. now, the tips of her fingers feel like ice where she clenches her hands into fists at her side. ❛ and of course you’d be so shallow and self - absorbed to think that i’d want to be alone with you. i was here because i felt sorry for you. contrary to popular belief, i have standards now. you can have your table all to yourself. i’m done trying to be nice to you. ❜ in the end, it’s almost poetic ; the girls always say ‘ new hair, new me, ’ and as she turns on her heel and walks away, blonde ponytail swinging tall behind her, she can’t help but feel that’s true.