You should Read My Name In Taako’s Voice

truthberry (makes you tell the truth) vs lieberry (gives you an immediate understanding of the dewey decimal system)

Xenia be damned, my boy can make a cheese

still thinking about the time my bf asked about favourite dinosaurs and my brother said quetzalcoatlus (pterosaur (not a dinosaur)) and my bf said dimetrodon ((synapsid (stem mammal) (went extinct 50 million years before dinosaurs evolved)) and i said crows (bird (dinosaur)) and yet i was judged to be the incorrect one in this scenario

My landlord pasted an ai generated ass eviction notice on my door because you have to cite a reason and he doesn’t have one so he just chopped that section out brother you cannot be serious

Would you like the added layer that he did this right after I tested for mold in my house and it was quite literally in every room and he came here to check out the hole in my ceiling that he has left unrepaired for two years

im gonna fight this in any way I can obviously but I want out of here as soon as possible I can’t get a new place until the end of this month but I do need to save for movers and a moving truck and a deposit. I also live with my mom who is severely disabled and I take care of which makes things more complicated. If you want to help my Cash App and Venmo are @ ishaanjs obviously nobody is obligated to give anything and thank you if you do

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

yuo cant say this during plague month

pride month. pharohs curse got me

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why