You should Read My Name In Taako’s Voice

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

yuo cant say this during plague month

pride month. pharohs curse got me

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why

in a symbiotic relationship with my toga. im the parasite. it would probably do better as an organism without me

Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”

Happy 10th anniversary to Fortify

"afab only housing" is honestly beautiful. it's #progress to use inclusive language when discrimating against trans women

you might as well just say "no men, and yeah I think men includes you trannies (but trans men aren't men you ladies are welcome 🥰)"

since the concept of "romance as horror" keeps getting misinterpreted, id like to propose a much clearer alternative: romance as an instrument of torture

Odysseus' ship is a Viking longship. Telemachus is wearing a shirt and pants. Agamemnon is beardless and has MF DOOM's helmet. The Trojans used brutalist architecture. There is no color to be found in any costume or on any set. Christopher Nolan deserves to be gored and trampled by a large mammal.

someone needs to take those fuckass broom helmets and shove one up his ass

"I'm not calling the people who believe in this conspiracy theory racist" I am. They're racist. Maybe not out of malice, but the fact that they believe in this is in itself racist. These conspiracies are always about brown people. Machu Pichu, the Pyramids, Göbekli Tepe, Easter Island, it is ALWAYS POC. It's never the Parthenon, it's never the Colliseum, despite the fact that these were built around the same time as some of the other sites these conspiracy chucklefucks like to throw around, it's never something fucking European. It's always "primitive people" with "stone tools" and "no understanding of modern engineering" so "clearly someone must have taught them this or given them the technology because CLEARLY they were just too Primitive and Savage to figure it out themselves." Fuck off with that shit.

this post is ruining my life. i keep saying that im doing things “dustly” and that things were “mad of dust”