Welcome To My Twisted Ankle

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

my knight said we are “laying siege” tomorrow and i asked how long that takes and he said “weeks, maybe months” and i just think we should have discussed that beforehand becausei packed one (1) apple

there used to be a man named bruno mars and he would come on the radio every now and then to sing us his new song but he doesnt do any of that now because he got shy

This fucks IMPOSSIBLY hard

This absolutely fucks unbelievably inconceivably hard

I hate that the "x reader" or "x Y/N" style of fanfic has become sooooo popular, partially because it's just not for me and partially because they clog general non-fic related tags and those authors seem allergic to the "read more" function on this website, but ALSO because I believe that you should have to go through the trouble of creating an absolutely batshit self-insert character, with a backstory that makes no sense and a name that doesn't really gel with the aesthetics of the universe. Legolas and Aragorn should be in a love triangle with Kylie, the angsty sixteen year old half-human half-elf and inexplicable tenth member of the Fellowship. Do the WORK. If everyone was doing "Y/N" nonsense back in the day, there would be no Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, or probably Bella Swan. These are important women. They deserve to be named, confusingly and with no regard for the fictional world they inhabit.

they should make a version of socializing that doesn’t make you feel like you’re still the weird 12 year old kid that doesn’t know why she’s not normal like the other kids

in the club fully sober politely informing my friends that I don't like loud sounds and will be leaving early

That's because this is Silmarillion

“Laios is such a freak, he’s too weird” OH NO! my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttery! What’s next? The sexy hunk is too autistic? GET OUT OF HERE!!

They should invent a way to sit hunched over doing crafts that is Good for your body